Arthur C. Brooks

A chapter of the book appeared in the Atlantic; I found Brooks's writing engaging and borrowed a copy of the book from the library.

Brooks doesn't pull any punches as he builds the clear case for the decline of "fluid" intelligence that serves us so well in early life. But instead of leaving me distressed or frustrated, he goes on to point out the gift and strength of "crystallized" intelligence that characterizes mid- to later life.

Highlighting examples of a few well-known and a few obscure folks who make the shift from one intelligence to the other well, or fail dramatically, Brooks also includes his personal experience as a professional musician along with a wealth of research conducted by others.

Closing the book I felt hopeful and encouraged. I'll be referring to it in the future.… (more)

I guess I read this book about 25 years too late. I am almost 70 years old whereas Brooks addresses people mostly aged 40 to 50. Also, I was never what I would call a workaholic and that is the type of people he envisions benefiting from this self-help book. Essentially, that was Brooks before he overheard a couple on a plane behind him. The man was saying to his wife that he might as well be dead because no-one needs him anymore.Brooks, a social scientist who was head of a think tank in Washington, DC at the time was astonished when they arrived in DC to recognize the man. He was well-known; "he has been universally beloved as a hero for his courage, patriotism, and accomplishments of many decades ago." Even the pilot of the aircraft stood at the cockpit door to shake his hand and said he had admired him for years. That defining moment caused Brooks to leave his high-powered job and find happiness in other accomplishments. Those are the lessons he gives in this book. In the end he distills his advice to seven words:
Use things.
Love people.
Worship the divine.
Sounds like good advice.… (more)

“What is the good of pretending to be what you are not? Well, even on the human level, you know, there are two kinds of pretending. There is the bad kind, where the pretense is there instead of the real thing; as when a man pretends he is going to help you instead of really helping you. But there is also a good kind, where the pretense leads up to the real thing.” C.S. Lewis

I just finished Love Your Enemies by Arthur C. Brooks and I can't think of a better book for us to read as Americans right now.

Yes, I know you're going to recommend to me a lot of books about systemic racism, or how shame is bad, or why we aren't responsible for what other people do, or something else that's a panacea to what's going on right now, and you're all correct. Those are probably good books to add to the conversation, as well. I'll read them (or, at least try. There is only so much time).

But Love Your Enemies is different. It doesn't presume to have all the answers, and it doesn't think much about calls to "return to civility," either (for example, Brooks says your friends would say you needed marriage therapy if you said you and your spouse were "civil" with each other. It's a pretty low bar, he says). It doesn't even think we need to agree. In fact, Brooks argues in Love Your Enemies that competition, especially of ideas, is important and critical.

What it does argue is that we need to stop holding each other in contempt because we disagree or are different from each other. We need to stop demonizing our opponents and adversaries. We need to start recognizing that even when we disagree about the policy, most of the time--if not all of the time--we share a love and a desire to make things better, to improve the lives of Americans. When we frame our conversations as debates about how to reach an outcome that is in our common interest, a discussion about the what instead of the why, then we can begin to have healthy and honest discussions again.

I am sure that I am failing to give this book the thrift it deserves, so just take a moment and go get it at the library, listen to an audio version, or pick it up from the bookstore. It's short, it's thought-provoking, and, honestly, its call for love over contempt even as we continue to debate the best way forward on tough issues might be the most radical thing we can do right now.

And if we can't love our enemies, maybe we can, as I opened with this quote from C.S. Lewis, at least pretend until the pretense becomes real.… (more)