Kindra Neely

Representation: Black and Asian characters and another character with a physical disability mentioned
Trigger warnings: PTSD, panic attack, death of people in mass shootings and a friend from suicide in the past, grief and loss depiction
Score: Six points out of ten.
Find this review on The StoryGraph.

I saw Numb to This on this website a while back but I wondered whether the library I went to would get it. They eventually purchased it and soon enough I could seize the opportunity to get it by picking it up. Afterwards, I read Numb to This, but when I finished it, it could've been much better. At least it beats This is Where it Ends.

Numb to This has heavy content inside as mentioned above so it won't be for everyone. It starts with the first person I see, Kindra Neely, living in Oregon after moving from Texas due to a shooting near her parents' house. Intriguingly, Kindra's mother also attended Umpqua in the past before Kindra went there. Life looks hopeful for Kindra until one day, a mass shooting happened, killing nine people. Kindra then had to experience the trauma and PTSD that came from surviving such an incident in the pages following that.

I felt sympathetic for her because in the first third it looks like she's already recovered until she hears of more mass shootings bringing back unwanted memories of her time at Umpqua. Kindra feels that her voice isn't being heard since politicians are speaking for her and all they do is make talking points out of it rather than solve the issue. I liked that Numb to This is here to show an account of a gun violence survivor. However, it has weaknesses with its pacing and the characters. Numb to This didn't flow as smoothly as I had hoped because it felt disjointed with some abrupt scene cuts which made me think I missed a page. I would've loved to see more of the other characters in this piece of literature like Radhii but they were mostly in the background. I understand this text is a memoir as stated in the front cover but some other survivors accounts would've added to it.

To summarise, Numb to This could've been an outstanding and true-to-life memoir about a massacre that affected Kindra that still happens now but it had imperfections, forcing me to unfortunately lower its rating.… (more)

Kindra Neely writes the graphic novel she wish she could have read following her traumatizing experience of being on the Umpqua Community College campus during a mass shooting on October 1, 2015. She spends years numb, depressed, and anxious and attempts suicide before reaching out for the help she needs to advance the healing process.

While her emotional journey is interesting it is also slightly subdued and so inward-gazing that we hardly get to know anyone else in the book even as friends and family wander through the panels. I thought the story was opening up slightly when Radhii, a Malaysian roommate, was introduced after Neely transfers to the Savannah College of Art and Design in Georgia. They bond as the Radhii faces Islamophobia and worries about the election of Donald Trump, but having served to make that point in the story she then fades back into the background as the author returns to her inner narrative.

Returning to the start of the book, I thought it was effective to immerse readers in her confusion and fear during the violence by taking us with her as she fled and sheltered around the campus without fully being aware of what was happening and the full extent of the casualties. But then she proceeds on with the story without ever completely filling us in on what happened and how many people were actually killed and injured.

It's a sad statement about me and the current state of the U.S. that, frankly, I did not even recall this particular shooting and had to research it on the internet after finishing the book. With an opportunity to remind everyone about it, I find it odd that Neely, who portrays herself as active in creating an artistic memorial to the shooting victims at UCC, never actually acknowledges any of the victims by their full names. I get leaving the gunman out of the story to deny him the notoriety, but the absence of those shot and killed is a void hard to understand. (Likewise, she never fully names the college in the body of the book, referring to it only as UCC.)

I know this is Neely's personal story, but it feels off to go so deep into herself as to exclude all others also effected by it.… (more)

Searing, emotional, and unforgettable - this graphic memoir is a look at one girls experience as a survivor of a mass shooting. It's violating, scary, and alters every bit of your life. Numb to this shows the day to day realities, the numbness, the disbelief, the ever present depression and anxiety - but it circles back to hope. It's very personal, tragic, and eye opening - it's also extremely timely with the increasing number of gun violence in America. Written as both a healing balm and a way to reach many who are going through the same struggles - this book is eye opening for all.… (more)