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The Squeaky Wheel: Complaining the Right Way to Get Results, Improve Your Relationships, and Enhance Self-Esteem

by Guy Winch, Ph.D.

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6512408,424 (3.69)3
Although life was physically more difficult in the days of the horse and carriage, we complained much less back then, and when we did, our complaints were more likely to get results. Today we complain about everything--yet do so with remarkable ineffectiveness. Most of us grumble, vent, and kvetch, neither expecting nor getting meaningful resolutions. Wasting prodigious amounts of time and energy on unproductive complaints can take an emotional and psychological toll on our moods and well-being. We desperately need to relearn the art of complaining effectively. Psychotherapist Guy Winch offers practical and psychologically grounded advice on how to determine what to complain about and what to let slide. He demonstrates how to convey our complaints in ways that encourage cooperation and increase the likelihood of getting resolutions to our dissatisfactions. The principles he spells out apply whether we're dealing with a rude store clerk, a bureaucrat, a coworker, our teenager, or a spouse or partner who's driving us crazy. Complaining constructively can be extremely empowering and it can significantly strengthen our personal, familial, and work relationships. Applying our new-found complaining skills to customer service representatives, corporate leaders, and elected officials increases the odds that our comments will be taken seriously. If we all complained more effectively, squeaky wheels could change our own lives as well as the world for the better.… (more)
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Showing 1-5 of 12 (next | show all)
This is an entertaining treatise about the art (and science) of complaining. It goes beyond the "how to" tactics of many of the books about customer service and complaining by explaining some of the psychological aspects.

For me, Chapter 5 ("The Ingredients for Serving a Delicious Squeak") is the centrepiece of the book and well worth the price of buying it. It introduced me to the "Complaint Sandwich" method of expressing a complaint. Also, the "Complaint Sandwich Condiments" listed in the footnotes to the Chapter are excellent guidelines for writing a complaint letter.

Chapter 6 ("The Art of Squeaking to Loved Ones") is also good.

I would also recommend the book from a dispute resolution and negotiation perspective for the excellent discussions about and examples of reframing, a tool used by mediators and negotiators in their work.. ( )
  BrianEWilliams | Jun 30, 2011 |
This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.
A decent book on how to complain about something when you are in a stressful situation. What drew me to this book in the first place was the introduction... it points out that in today's world, there is just a whole lot of complaining going on about a whole lot of everything. It diminishes complaints in general when that's all that is going on.

Many anecdotes, some humor, some research to back things up... an all purpose book on being the squeaky wheel. ( )
  KinnicChick | Jun 14, 2011 |
This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.
A very useful personal development title that teaches you how to complain efficiently. In today's society we are forced to take too many issues for granted and voicing you concerns can be seen as a negative trait. I am not a fan of those who are overly whinny and nagging eternally but sometimes we just have to speak out and "be heard" to deal with life. ( )
  IamAleem | Apr 24, 2011 |
This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.
I received this book as an ER book for review. This book offers helpful advice and anecdotes illustrating how to complain effectively vs. ineffectively. Most of the advice given was rather general (Say something positive first, remember that you are asking somebody for a favour) but serves a good reminder on how to handle stressful situations with grace. My favourite parts of the book were the parts that drew of psychological research in the area. I would have loved to see more of the research and less of the anecdotes. One thing I found frustrating about this book was that many of the stories were started, but never finished (e.g. this family came in with the complaining father who was driving his son away, I limited his number of complaints to X times a day, then we never hear about I again; or hear is a mother who was complaining about the amount of homework her children were receiving, again no follow up). If you are looking for a good common sense guideline about how to handle complaints well that is well written and fun then this is a good book for you. If you are looking for a book based more heavily on the research in the area you may have to do a primary literature search yourself. ( )
  Bcteagirl | Apr 3, 2011 |
This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.
I don't ready many self-help books, but the genre seems to require a few characteristics: a chatty, conversational tone, many anecdotes (with a bonus for snippets from therapy sessions), light humor or at least attempts at humor and enough psychologist's jargon to provide credibility. Winch's book has all that, so if you read Self-Help like I once read Westerns, nothing in here is going to through you off.

Winch rises above the standard fare, though, I think. He is genuinely funny, apparently insightful, careful with scientific claims, humble or able to seem that way, and writes so as to preserve a conversational tone without over-simplifying the science, or becoming condescending.

His overall message is an old one--you improve yourself by taking ownership of your life--but he also gives the reader little lessons, and his advice on composing complaints to get results and not just to vent your anger or frustration, with different twists for different circumstances, I think will prove useful. And an image, "The Complaint Snadwich", might help me remember that advice. ( )
1 vote steve.clason | Mar 29, 2011 |
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Although life was physically more difficult in the days of the horse and carriage, we complained much less back then, and when we did, our complaints were more likely to get results. Today we complain about everything--yet do so with remarkable ineffectiveness. Most of us grumble, vent, and kvetch, neither expecting nor getting meaningful resolutions. Wasting prodigious amounts of time and energy on unproductive complaints can take an emotional and psychological toll on our moods and well-being. We desperately need to relearn the art of complaining effectively. Psychotherapist Guy Winch offers practical and psychologically grounded advice on how to determine what to complain about and what to let slide. He demonstrates how to convey our complaints in ways that encourage cooperation and increase the likelihood of getting resolutions to our dissatisfactions. The principles he spells out apply whether we're dealing with a rude store clerk, a bureaucrat, a coworker, our teenager, or a spouse or partner who's driving us crazy. Complaining constructively can be extremely empowering and it can significantly strengthen our personal, familial, and work relationships. Applying our new-found complaining skills to customer service representatives, corporate leaders, and elected officials increases the odds that our comments will be taken seriously. If we all complained more effectively, squeaky wheels could change our own lives as well as the world for the better.

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