Initially, when I heard about this book, I was concerned that a social experiment that has gone a-gay. Why would a minister want to solicit his best big black friend to pretend to be his lover? Then I began to read more and it proved to be a learning experience for me as well. Timothy Kurek makes a powerful statement as a straight man that places his hetero sexual life in the closet so that he can understand how another may live.
It is not an experiment for the weak at heart but a lesson in learning and tolerance. All the adages and clichés can be applied to walk a mile, drinking from the other fountain….grass, green, other side, yadda yadda, but what Mr. Kurek does is put all of those things into play and truly experiences humanity while he finds that his faith may have been stifling his path to enlighten.
I give this memoir, four pens.
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Coming from a conservative American Christian upbringing, Timothy Kurek feels dissatisfied about the way he handled a confrontation with gay protestors at his Christian university and his reaction when a friend is disowned by her family when she comes out as a lesbian. He decides to walk a mile in somebody else's shoes and falsely come out as gay for a year. This is the story of that year.

The first chapter (actually chapter 0) is a bit of a mess, hopping about between different points in the timeline and leaving me very confused despite having heard the basic story elsewhere. Although I persisted it was with much less eager anticipation than when I started.

However, once I got past that chapter, I found the book gripping and emotionally moving. I was stirred by the author's emotional honesty and thought-provoking comments about both communities while seeing the members of the two communities as individuals rather than examples of this or that group. ( )

This book was just an incredibly brave one to write. Author Timothy Kurek decided to proclaim himself as a gay man for one year – despite being straight – to see what gay men and women experience in our society and to try and better understand them and himself.

I was astounded by that decision – by the courage and determination it must have taken to directly confront those people most condemned in his conservative Christian Southern upbringing.

He goes through so much self reflection in his closet year. “Why do I believe I’m any different, any better, than anyone else? Why do my beliefs give me a sense of entitlement? Everyone is human, fallible, and flawed, and it is not my job to determine who’s better or worse.”

He learns a great deal about himself and about that which his church had taught him all his life.

“Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” I was taught this, but never had it spoke to me of social justice. If I was taught to take the Bible and apply it to my life, why was I also not taught that spirituality and social justice are connected?”

I felt myself almost cheering him on as he vocalizes thoughts that I have had about some Christians. Those who proclaim most loudly in the glory of Christ – yet seem to follow so few of his teachings about love and care and humanity.

“The sickening realization dawns on me that I have never really followed these ideals, all the while claiming to be a Christian. The people I condemned most heartily have shamed me by walking more closely with the faith I have proclaimed so boldly.”

The most powerful section of the book for me is when an epithet is shouted at him. “That was the first time since coming out that I heard that word and understood what it actually meant. It means that you are a lesser, a second-class citizen, and an anathema. It means that your life is relegated to a single word, and the details of that life don’t matter. It means that your thoughts, experiences, loves, and struggles should be painted over because you aren’t an equal, that yours isn’t as valuable as other live. It means you are hated.”

Because Tim’s is such a powerful story, such an amazing journey – I do wish that he had included a bit more detail about how he came to make this decision and how he readied himself for it. It felt too fast, a bit too easy – and I am positive it was not. I wanted some more detail on his thought process and the emotions he felt while trying to commit to this year.

And yet, what it comes down to for me is that now there is one less shouting, hateful voice on the subject of equality and gay rights. Instead, there is a loving, understanding advocate whose first hand experience is sure to make a difference and help others see the light. This is a wonderful story and I commend the author for his incredible undertaking. ( )