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Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of…
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Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct

by P. M. Forni

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Very readable, thought-provoking book about courtesy, politeness, civility, whatever you want to call it.

What I liked: It tried to find a balance between paying attention to/respecting the needs of yourself and paying attention to/respecting the needs of others. Being civil doesn't just mean accommodating the requests of others, it also means recognizing your own boundaries and expressing your needs (politely). Basically, be mindful of yourself and the world around you, whether in terms of making noise, making apologies, accepting blame, or caring for animals. It's not just about making the world a more comfortable place, but about making yourself a better person.

What I had problems with: Sometimes the rule-based nature was a bit off-putting. I would have liked it more if it had dwelt more on the personal benefits of engaging in civil behavior. ( )
  thewalkinggirl | Feb 22, 2011 |
Forni doesn't teach us anything new here. Don't say ill will about others. Be mindful of the noise you make. Wear clean clothing. Yet these 25 rules are constantly overlooked by us all in daily life and this book serves as the gentle reminder that we need in order to make this world a better place.One of my new years resolutions was to make an even more considerable effort of being kind to others. This book has become one of my bibles. I will carry it until it with me until it's ragged and torn. Civility has become absent from our subconscious and we need reminders like these to counsel us along in our journeys. Not only is this a self-help book for our world, but a self-help book for our lives. We are social beings and our happiness is affected by how we coexist with others. Taking the first step and showing utmost respect towards others will improve our relationships and consequently, our own lives. ( )
  jrapala | Sep 8, 2010 |
Forni is European and it shows. He comes from a culture where respect for people is assumed. America disappoints him now and then. He wants to help America.I need to practice these twenty-five things. If I practiced just these twenty-five things, I would be a much better person. So what are they? Let me list them to remind myself:1. Pay attention2. Acknowledge others3. Think the best4. Listen5. Be inclusive6. Speak kindly7. Don’t speak ill8. Accept and give praise9. Respect even a subtle “no”10. Respect others’ opinions11. Mind your body12. Be agreeable13. Keep it down (and rediscover silence)…most difficult for me14. Respect other people’s time15. Respect other people’s space16. Apologize earnestly and thoughtfully17. Assert yourself18. Avoid personal questions19. Care for your guests20. Be a considerate guest21. Think twice before asking for favors22. Refrain from idle complaints23. Give constructive criticism24. Respect the environment and be gentle to animals25. Don’t shift responsibility and blameThat’s it. I can do these them. I will start now. ( )
1 vote debnance | Jan 29, 2010 |
A small book thoughtfully written in easy to digest chapters. A wonderful reference to use when addressing civility issues with children, although not written for that purpose. ( )
  KarinKath | Mar 10, 2008 |
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Book description
我們的人生,有極大的一部份是由我們和他人的關係所決定的。

  本書的每一頁都在闡述這個簡單的信念:良好的人際關係讓我們的人生美好,糟糕的人際關係讓我們的人生悲慘。如果我們替周遭的人減輕了負擔,那麼我們的日子就過得很好;如果我們替這個世界帶來苦難,那就代表我們的日子過得不好。
  
  本書列舉25個亙古不變的人際關係準則,並以實例說明如何正確應用這些準則。這些準則包含:發揮注意力、這世界上不是只有你、往好處想、言語的態度要溫柔、不可說人壞話、怎麼樣才是真誠的道歉、尊重別人拒絕的意願、尊重別人的時間、好好接待客人、當個體貼的客人、避免毫無意義的抱怨、不推卸責任,不怪罪他人等等。

  本書獲得國內外企業領袖、精英學者、心理諮商與人資工作者的強力推薦。書中的正面訊息,可以改善職場內的人際行為,也可改變人的言語和行動。心理諮商師都知道,行動改變了,自我的感覺也就不同了,從此帶出一種健康的樂觀感覺,改變我們的生命。
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 0312302509, Paperback)

Most people would agree that thoughtful behavior and common decency are in short supply, or simply forgotten in hurried lives of emails, cellphones, and multi-tasking. In Choosing Civility, P. M. Forni identifies the twenty-five rules that are most essential in connecting effectively and happily with others. In clear, witty, and, well...civilized language, Forni covers topics that include:

* Think Twice Before Asking Favors
* Give Constructive Criticism
* Refrain from Idle Complaints
* Respect Others' Opinions
* Don't Shift Responsibility and Blame
* Care for Your Guests
* Accept and Give Praise

Finally, Forni provides examples of how to put each rule into practice and so make life-and the lives of others-more enjoyable, companionable, and rewarding.

Choosing Civility is a simple, practical, perfectly measured, and quietly magical handbook on the lost art of civility and compassion.

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:24:38 -0400)

(see all 2 descriptions)

Presents twenty-five rules for connecting successfully with others, revealing how to apply each rule to everyday life to make one's own life, as well as the lives of others, more comfortable and fulfilling.

» see all 2 descriptions

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