DNF

Tried.
Didn't like it. Because OMG this girl. Can't stand her.
( )

Jordyn is terrified that her autistic brother will ruin her friendships and social life in high school. Even if it means pulling away from her friends and the boy that she likes, she will do whatever it takes to avoid associations with her brother, Phillip. While she navigates school and her feelings for Alex, a boy she kissed a while ago and then told she wasn’t interested, her life changes when the school Phillip goes to has to send him to her high school temporarily. Over time, she realizes that her brother has taught her a lot and might even be able to teach her how to say “I love you” to the people she cares the most about.

This book focuses primarily on relationships. It uses the trope of being in love with a best friend until he gets into a relationship, but in doing that it manages to capture the complexities of teen relationships when there is that competition. The main focus of the book, however, is less on romance and more on the family difficulties and dynamics that Jordyn is facing with her parents and her brother. Although a lot of people might be bothered by how selfish and uncompassionate Jordyn can be to her brother, it also shows how difficult it can be for a teenager to have a family member who is demanding and potentially embarrassing. Her emotions and behavior can be unpleasant, but it always feels like real emotions that someone might have in a similar situation. It tackles a difficult subject in challenging ways, but the emotion in the book is there and makes it worth reading. ( )

This story portrays the emotions of a teenage girl struggling to accept her role as the sibling of an autistic brother. Jordyn feels the need to hide her brother Phillip from her friends after being subjected to taunting at a previous school. She turns down the boy of her dreams due to her fear over his reaction. The way autism affects Jordyn's life and her resulting need to distance herself was portrayed in a realistic and heart-wrenching fashion. ( )

My full review-- http://southernbredsouthernread.blogspot.com/2015/07/how-to-say-i-love-you-out-l...

I received this ARC from Swoon Reads when I attended a panel that they hosted at BookCon in NYC earlier this year. I have loved all of the books published by Swoon Reads so far, so I was ecstatic to be lucky enough to get my hands on this ARC!


I want to be very up front and honest and say that I did not like this book. I did not like it at all. I realized that I didn't like it about 50 pages it and pretty much just hate-read through until the end because I was hoping there would be an amazing ending that would be the much needed redemption this book needed. Unfortunately, this book had one of the most predictable HEAs I have ever read.



I knew going into this that the book would have a strong theme involving disabilities because of the synopsis and also the Author's Note at the beginning stating how she has worked with disabled people and has the utmost respect for them and their bravery, yadda yadda. Here's the thing. This book has probably one of the most disgusting heroines I have ever read about. The book follows Jordyn and her path on learning to overcome and deal with her brother's autism. Yep, you read that right. She spends the entire book complaining about how inconvenient, embarrassing, and UNFAIR it is to her life for her brother to have been born with autism. There is one scene in particular where Phillip, Jordyn's brother, is pretty much having a break down at school because there is a fire drill happening. The poor boy is laying on the floor in the hallway with a group of people gathered around him (to watch and mock) crying and wailing. In the midst of the group is his sister Jordyn. She knows that it is the sound of the fire alarm that is upsetting him and that is needs these noise cancelling headphones that he carries around (he is verbal, but his speech is limited). She knows that he keeps the head phones in his backpack. She knows all of this, but instead of helping her brother, she stands there in the crowd embarrassed and ashamed (even though no one knows that he is her brother) and does nothing. Finally when the principal comes and makes the group of kids leave, she sticks around and when the coast is clear, she pulls out the headphones for him. I was so disgusted and upset after this scene that I very seriously considered putting the book down and never picking it back up. I was so angry, but I decided to keep going because Jordyn has to get better, right? She has to have some sort of self realization about how sad of a person she is. NOPE. This is just one big event that happens out of so many that makes this book completely unforgiveable. Obviously, because this book does have a HEA, she does have the great realization how big of a d.ck she is and how awful she has been to basically everyone in her life. And because she has overcome her d.ckness she is now enlightened in how much she sucks in all the other aspects of life. She makes things right with everyone and rides off into the sunset with her Prince Charming. It is all so eye roll worthy that I cannot even begin describe how done I was with this book when I finally finished.



I get the point the author is trying to make. I get it, I really do. This is SUPPOSED to be about how this girl has struggled with her brother's disability her whole life and has resented him and their parents because of all the extra attention he has received. This is SUPPOSED to be about how she finally sees all the good in her brother and learns to accept him for who is his, autism and all. This is SUPPOSED to be about how a selfish 16 year old learns that the world doesn't revolve around her. Unfortunately, the message gets so lost in the awful situations that the main character creates for herself. I just can't even properly articulate how awful this main girl is and how angry she made me. I. JUST. CAN'T.



I'll just go and ahead and say that Swoon Reads really missed the mark with this one. If I were to pick up this book and know nothing about SR, I probably wouldn't read another book published by them. Like I said before, I have loved everything else published by them in the past. I know that the books that are published are voted on by the readers, so it absolutely amazes me that enough people liked this book enough to want to be put in print. Skip this book and check out one of the other amazing Swoon Reads authors like Sandy Hall or Temple West. ( )

Jordyn has an autistic brother whom she has never spoken of at her new school. All is about to change when her brother’s school closes and now he will be attending the same school as Jordyn. The last thing Jordyn wants is for everyone to find out they are related so she never says a thing. I was kind of bothered by the fact that Jordyn didn’t want anyone to know her brother was autistic. I did understand why and all the struggles and difficulties she was going through but it still bothered me. After reading more about her situation, I got more insight into her life and could better understand her.

I loved almost all of the characters, especially Alex. He was an incredible friend to Jordyn and I immediately fell for him and how much of an amazing person he was overall. We have Phillip, Jordyn’s autistic brother and the way he was portrayed was spot on. The author really showed how it is for autistic is and how frustrated they get when someone doesn’t understand them. At times, it was very emotional because you could really feel for Phillip. It is sad to say that the way people reacted to Phillip in the story is how we react to seeing an autistic person and I’m glad the author didn’t downplay this at all.

“[…] I’m going to work on loving you out loud.. I’m going to work on living out loud.”

This is a really strong and eye-opening story. Jordyn gave a speech at the end that opened my eyes even more to autism and it is a great message for kids, teens and adults to read. ( )