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Totlandia: The Onesies, Book 1 (Fall)

by Josie Brown

Series: Totlandia (1)

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894306,060 (3.5)None
Fiction. Literature. HTML:Friendship. Lies. Seduction. Betrayal. Welcome to Totlandia.
IN BOOK 1 OF THE TOTLANDIA SERIES:
The Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club is the most exclusive children's playgroup in all of San Francisco. For the city's ultra-competitive elite, the club's ten annual spots are the ultimate parenting prize.
But not everyone is PHM&TC material. The club's founder, Bettina Connaught Cross, adheres to strict membership rules: Moms only. No single parents or working mothers allowed. Membership is an arduous commitment. And there's no room in the club for scandal, bad behavior, or imperfection...from tots or their moms.
In a world of power and prestige, no one has more than Bettina. And as every mom in Pacific Heights knows, you simply cannot cross her. But this year's admissions process is more rigorous than ever, pitting prospective members against each other to prove their mettle.
But four of the six candidates vying for the remaining four slots have a secret that would knock them out of the running. Jade is a former stripper and porn actress, who has been absent for most of her son's life. Jillian's husband cleaned out their joint accounts and left her for his pregnant assistant. Ally never even had a husbandâ??just a sperm donorâ??and she's hiding a high-ranking corporate job. And Lorna fears that her son may have special needs... just the excuse her sister-in-law, Bettina, needs to deny her entry to the club.
Can these hopeful moms keep up appearances long enough to outlast the competition? Or will their chancesâ??and their private livesâ??go u
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Showing 4 of 4
OK, this was amusing in the sense of privileged mamas (and a papa) willing to do ANYTHING to get their spawn into THE MOST EXCLUSIVE playgroup. While they all claim they are doing it for the benefit of the kids, the kids are way too young to know or care.

Yes, getting kids into enclaves of more and more privilege is probably advantageous for them economically. Look at our current government: mostly dimwits, but PRIVILEGED and wealthy and powerful dimwits, who all went to the "right" schools and belong to the "right" clubs.

It's nice that some of the mamas can put their competitiveness aside and start to make friends with each other.

The book ended on a cliffhanger, and I expect the others will as well. There are at least 7, and this one was very short.

While amusing, I do not expect to continue reading the series. ( )
  cissa | Jul 3, 2017 |
Hilarious ( )
  Daydreambooks | Jul 20, 2013 |
Brown did it again! She wrote a book that is both hysterical and original She gets at the heart of motherhood and all its glory and shame! Brown loves to develop numerous characters and you sure to connect with one, if not all in some way. She makes you think, with whimsy and fun. I absolutely adore her writing and I cannot wait to drive into book two of this series! ( )
  Mrsmommybooknerd | Jan 18, 2013 |
This is fun type of "book" - actually it's been done before by the likes of Charles Dickens and other great authors. But they did their serial storytelling by sending in chapters to newspapers keeping their readers on the edge of their seats waiting for the next installment. This is how A Christmas Carol was initially published.

Totlandia tells the tale of an exclusive Moms and Tots playgroup where the children who get in ....have parents who want the best for them and are willing to go to any lengths to get what they think will provide their children with any advantage in what they think is a dog eat dog world. Even a playgroup for an infant.

The rules for joining are absurd. The mothers are absurd. The concept is absurd. The book is hysterical. It's short, biting and full of characters that you want to know more about. Book 1 introduces the main players, the hows and whys of The Pacific Heights Moms and Tots Club and of course, the children. There are 4 spots open for this year but 6 mothers vying for the places. So a Survivor-like contest is decided as a way to winnow out the two extra applicants.

Each of the women has a secret that will surely lead to her dismissal if found out so they do their best to keep them hidden as they and their children bond. The dialog is fun, the challenges faced are real and there are some laugh out loud moments. I don't think it took me two hours to read so it's a perfect light, funny tale to have handy when you have a little time and want to have something to read.

The only thing I did not understand at all, character wise was the one mother having a 14 month old child who had not started walking or talking and she had not had him tested. She doesn't go to a doctor until a yoga teacher suggests it. A yoga teacher? Would any mother in this day and age let a child get to 14 months without talking and walking and blindly ignore the lack of development? Not to mention no questioning of this by the father or family members? I thought this was really just out of touch. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. But beyond this one complaint I really did enjoy this installment and I'm looking forward to starting the next. ( )
  BooksCooksLooks | Dec 20, 2012 |
Showing 4 of 4
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Fiction. Literature. HTML:Friendship. Lies. Seduction. Betrayal. Welcome to Totlandia.
IN BOOK 1 OF THE TOTLANDIA SERIES:
The Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club is the most exclusive children's playgroup in all of San Francisco. For the city's ultra-competitive elite, the club's ten annual spots are the ultimate parenting prize.
But not everyone is PHM&TC material. The club's founder, Bettina Connaught Cross, adheres to strict membership rules: Moms only. No single parents or working mothers allowed. Membership is an arduous commitment. And there's no room in the club for scandal, bad behavior, or imperfection...from tots or their moms.
In a world of power and prestige, no one has more than Bettina. And as every mom in Pacific Heights knows, you simply cannot cross her. But this year's admissions process is more rigorous than ever, pitting prospective members against each other to prove their mettle.
But four of the six candidates vying for the remaining four slots have a secret that would knock them out of the running. Jade is a former stripper and porn actress, who has been absent for most of her son's life. Jillian's husband cleaned out their joint accounts and left her for his pregnant assistant. Ally never even had a husbandâ??just a sperm donorâ??and she's hiding a high-ranking corporate job. And Lorna fears that her son may have special needs... just the excuse her sister-in-law, Bettina, needs to deny her entry to the club.
Can these hopeful moms keep up appearances long enough to outlast the competition? Or will their chancesâ??and their private livesâ??go u

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