Intense and heartbreaking and inspiring. I have so much admiration for both Mimi and Jacob -- for their courage in letting their souls shine the way they were intended to be, and for their bravery in telling their stories so others can learn they're not alone. And shame on those who use the Torah to justify bigotry, misogyny and patriarchy! ( )

One of the best reads this year and definite proof that fact is stranger than fiction.

Lemay describes her childhood in Israel with her brother Uriyah, visiting grandparents in Long Island, and then her mother moving the 3 of them to Massachusetts when she had enough of her marriage. Mimi and Uriyah miss their father and have a hard time settling in. Their father does visit from time to time.

They move again, this time to Monsey's large Chasidish community where the children feel uncomfortable with the 'religious' constraints. Confused and upset by the restrictive roles women are bulldozed into accepting, Mimi learns to adapt, 'act' compliant but find ways to continue being herself; reading books and magazines she enjoys which are banned by the community’s leading rabbis.Uriyah has a hard time accepting the stringent rules until one rabbi finds a way to reach him. But...Uriyah now pivots 360-degrees into a fanatically religious, judgmental, critical and odd young man.

A year before graduating high-school Mimi convinces her mother she wishes to continue her studies at Gateshead Seminary (post high-school) in England. There she thrives on the learning, analyzing and understanding texts in the Torah through the different teaching styles and perspectives of the rabbis. She believes she wants to become immersed in this world but finds she is still angry when told what women could, should and could not, should not do. Feeling guilty for her heated feelings she prays for guidance from G-d.

She is excited to be ‘matched’ with a young man, and they soon become engaged. Her happiness is short-lived; she learns her fiancé has had an affair with a married woman. Mimi is depressed and cuts herself. Obviously, she needs psychological help but her mother feels she should just get over it. In the orthodox community, her mother worries that getting help may ruin her chances of finding a good match!

A depressed Mimi realizes she can not continue living in the Gateshead community and again convinces her mother she needs to make a change.This time to attend college. After some time, her mother agrees but only if Mimi will attend Boston University where she herself had gotten her degrees.

Attending college improves Mimi’s life dramatically; she learns about the larger world, other religions, and slowly transitions from orthodox to non-observant. She dates, and then meets the right one, Joe Lemay. His family accepts her without hesitation but sadly her mother insists dating a non-Jew is wrong.

Married life with 3 daughters is definitely busy and challenging. It takes Mimi and Joe some time to see that middle daughter Em is unhappy, and has developed odd habits. They do just about everything to accommodate Em’s moods, demands, and outbursts. With help and support from Joe’s family, friends, and local schools, Mimi and Joe acknowledge what they knew subconsciously.

Together they make a bold decision to do the right thing. Soon Em changes into a curious, friendly and happy child. Uriyah who also has become non-observant is a loving, enthusiastic uncle.

What a life; Mimi is smart, sensitive, insightful and caring. She and Joe are indeed fortunate to have found each other. Mimi believes that growing up feeling bewildered, angry and stressed in a demanding environment gave her a sense of the disorientation Em has been experiencing.

What We Will Be is a phenomenal book! Chapters alternate between Mimi’s youth, and her life as a married mom.Rich in complexity; with sad and happy details, surprises, but plenty of love and humanity to balance it all out.

Read!