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Why Good People Do Bad Things: How to Stop…
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Why Good People Do Bad Things: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy

by Debbie Ford

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Reading about the "masks" that people wear in their public and private persona was pretty fascinating. ( )
  mawls | Apr 4, 2013 |
This is a book that generated mixed feelings in me. I definitely appreciate Ms. Ford's attention to the subject of self-sabotage but I don't agree with her assessment of our shadow sides. (Perhaps I am more in denial than I think.)

Ms. Ford does an eloquent job writing about the multiple ways we sabotage ourselves in our best attempts to do good and be good. I particularly enjoyed the chapter entitled, "The Masks." In it, she chronicles the various masks our wounded ego wears to show the world who we want them to see. It will be difficult to read that chapter and not see the mask or masks of your personal preference.

What I didn't agree with was her statement that we have to embrace our shadow side and proudly proclaim how those qualites we or society has deemed negative actual serve us. Take nastiness for example. I may not want to admit any part of me is nasty. I want to always be nice, kind and good. So, when any nastiness surfaces, I attempt to keep it buried because I've decided it isn't good.

Ms. Ford suggests that we are equal part positive and negative traits. In order to fully integrate ourselves, we must embrace both sides. She suggests that nastiness might serve me well if I've hired a contractor to fix something in my home and he is repeatedly not doing the job he was hired to do in a competent manner.

Here is where I diverge from her thinking. Certainly, the majority of people, wouldn't fault anyone for getting nasty in a situation like that. However, I am personally on a spiritual quest. I have embraced the idea of transcending my ego, as Eckhart Tolle, David Hawkins and others discuss. This is my past. So, while I recognize that my ego has all personality traits associated with it, my preference is moving beyond ego to my spiritual self where there is only love and acceptance.

So, depending where you are at in your journey, I think you could find this book useful. If you are challenged by feelings of unworthiness and find you can't be authentically who you are, or you are involved in a lot of self-sabotage, then you may want to pick up this book. ( )
  kimolver | Aug 9, 2010 |
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 0060897376, Hardcover)

Why Good People Do Bad Things exposes the pervasive and often hidden impulses that influence our everyday decisions. The headlines are full of stories of good people gone astray. They show up on the evening news and are splashed across the weekly tabloids.

In many ways, these sad stories have become a national obsession. Yet countless other acts of self-destruction and sabotage take place in our families, in our communities, in our circle of friends. Despite good intentions, “good people” do very bad things—often without understanding why.

New York Times bestselling author Debbie Ford guides us into the heart of the duality that unknowingly operates within each one of us: the force that compels us to live by our values, give and receive love, and be a contributing member of the community; and the force that holds us back, sabotages our efforts, and repeatedly steers us toward bad choices.

Ford begins with an examination of what she calls the Beach-Ball Effect—the way in which suppressed emotions eventually rise to the surface—revealing the origins of self-destructive behavior. By describing the never-ending battle between our light and dark sides and then identifying the signposts for potential disaster, Ford helps us understand how we end up damaging the lives we've worked so hard to create. She then breaks new ground by helping us recognize the masks we wear to protect ourselves, including the People Pleaser, the Victim, the Bully, Mister Cool, and the Jokester. Understanding these masks and what they cover up allows us to go beneath the surface, wake up from denial, and become the person we always intended to be.

With Why Good People Do Bad Things Ford has created her most enduring, expansive, and powerful work to date. Providing the tools to unlock the patterns of self-sabotage, Ford ultimately knocks down the façade of the false self and shows us how to heal the split between light and dark and live the authentic life within our reach.

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:12:40 -0400)

(see all 4 descriptions)

Exposes the pervasive and often hidden impulses that influence our everyday decisions. Countless acts of self-destruction and sabotage take place in our families, in our communities, in our circle of friends. Despite good intentions, "good people" do very bad things--often without understanding why. Ford guides us into the heart of the duality that unknowingly operates within each one of us: the force that compels us to give and receive love and be a contributing member of the community; and the "dark side" or shadow, the force that holds us back, sabotages our efforts, and steers us toward bad choices. Ford helps us identify the signposts for potential disaster, recognize the masks we wear to protect ourselves, and unlock the patterns of self-sabotage, allowing us to wake up from denial and become the person we always intended to be.--From publisher description.… (more)

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