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Kiss the Girls and Make Them Spy

by Mabel Maney

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1485185,430 (3.51)6
Sometimes the Best Bond for a Job is a Jane ... Jane Bond. "What's the story on Bond?" "Your man is a homicidal depressive paranoiac," the doctor reported. "I know that. I want to know what's wrong with him! And be straight with me, man. No medical mumbo jumbo." "He's lost his nerve." N. had suspected as much. After a long while spent staring at the jagged skyline of London, N. came to a decision. He had no other choice but to go through with Pumpernickel's ridiculous plan. Enter Bond, Jane Bond, James's lesbian twin sister and haoless bookstore employee, who steps in to masquerade as her brother at an awards ceremony with the queen. But when the dastardly Sons of Britain (S.O.B.s), a nefarious fraternity plotting to bring the Duke and Duchess of Windsor back to power, show up, it's up to some unexpected heros to save the day. The Powder Puff Girls -- makeup salespersons by day, secret agents by night -- step in to secure the future of Britain while Jane keeps her brother's reputation intact...both in and out of the bedroom!… (more)
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Showing 5 of 5
Super fun to read! ( )
  lemontwist | Sep 4, 2023 |
In 1953, Ian Fleming wrote Casino Royale, creating British master spy James Bond. In the next 11 years, Fleming would write 14 books detailing the adventures of the suave and sexy international spy. In the 60’s, Clyde Allison (the pseudonym of William Henry Knoles) would publish 20 sexy parodies featuring agent 0008 in titles such as Sadisto Royale, For Your Sighs Only, and, my personal favorite, Platypussy. Although the Bond films have been parodied recently, no one has recently parodied the books. Until now. Mabel Maney, author of several girl detective parodies featuring Nancy Clue and the Hardly Boys, has turned her satiric pen on another icon, introducing us to Jane Bond, a hapless bookstore employee who just happens to be James Bond’s lesbian twin sister.

The book takes place in the 60’s, with appropriate cultural and fashion references. The gist of the story is that James Bond has lost his touch and been shipped off to a mental health facility to recover. However, he is also scheduled to receive a medal from the queen, so the loopy plot of convincing Jane to stand in for her brother is conceived. Along with this, the subplots include an all-girl spy ring, a plot to kidnap Queen Elizabeth and put King Edward back on the throne, and Jane’s budding romance with Bridget St. Claire, daughter of society doyenne Lady Emerald St. Claire and member of the aforementioned all-girl spy ring.

The characters are all great fun, from the hapless Agent Pumpernickel to the kindhearted but socially-challenged Lady Edwina Wooley-Booley. Menace is provided by Sir Niles Needlum, the grasping, casually brutal, totally incompetent Agent 008, and as in all James Bond books, the femme fatale Lydia Thorne. The plot is light and swift, and like all good spy thrillers, all of the varied subplots come together in a machine-gun rapid-fire ending.

The coolest thing about the book is how much you come to care about the characters. When reading a parody, character development isn’t usually what I’m looking for—I’m in it for the laughs. This book provides plenty of those, but also gives you reason to be concerned about the characters. You want Bridget and Jane to get together, and for Agent Pumpernickel to reach his retirement safely, and especially for Simon’s bookshop to survive. Although the situation is played for laughs the people aren’t, which added greatly to my enjoyment of the book. ( )
  Mrs_McGreevy | Nov 17, 2016 |
Agent 007 has been institutionalized and N. needs to find a replacement quickly as the Queen wants to award him a medal. The only person who could possible fit the bill: his lesbian sister Jane. But Jane has problems of her own, having just split with her girlfriend who took her for almost everything she had. Plus, she doesn't know that her brother James is a secret agent. Told with much charm and tongue-in-cheek humor, Maney's parody of the James Bond series is a great read. ( )
  ocgreg34 | Jul 24, 2008 |
Jane Bond, lesbian twin sister of the famous spy, is recruited by her brother's boss to impersonate her currently invalid brother. The girls who sell Powder Puff cosmetics door-to-door via their pink scooters turn out themselves to be underground feminist spies. In turns farcical and sexy. ( )
  angharad_reads | Feb 10, 2006 |
Parody of James Bond
  mulliner | Oct 17, 2009 |
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Kiss the Girls and Make Them Spy was also published under the title The Spy Who Came Out of the Closet.
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Sometimes the Best Bond for a Job is a Jane ... Jane Bond. "What's the story on Bond?" "Your man is a homicidal depressive paranoiac," the doctor reported. "I know that. I want to know what's wrong with him! And be straight with me, man. No medical mumbo jumbo." "He's lost his nerve." N. had suspected as much. After a long while spent staring at the jagged skyline of London, N. came to a decision. He had no other choice but to go through with Pumpernickel's ridiculous plan. Enter Bond, Jane Bond, James's lesbian twin sister and haoless bookstore employee, who steps in to masquerade as her brother at an awards ceremony with the queen. But when the dastardly Sons of Britain (S.O.B.s), a nefarious fraternity plotting to bring the Duke and Duchess of Windsor back to power, show up, it's up to some unexpected heros to save the day. The Powder Puff Girls -- makeup salespersons by day, secret agents by night -- step in to secure the future of Britain while Jane keeps her brother's reputation intact...both in and out of the bedroom!

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