Benj Pasek

I dragged my feet over this one, even in the reading of it. Given the subject matter, I couldn’t add it to a school library collection without reading it first,, and enough students have asked for it that I finally decided it they shouldn’t have to wait.
Opening with what is effectively a suicide note from an as-yet-unnamed character, Dear Evan Hansen depicts a boy with debilitating social anxiety whose therapist has set him the task of writing positive letters to himself. On the first show more day of his Senior year, Evan writes an honest not-so-positive letter to himself describing his despair about his social invisibility and inability to interact with others. A couple of days after he leaves the letter in the school printer, it is found in the possession of a boy (Connor) who has committed suicide. Since it was addressed to him, Connor’s parents assume they were friends and a fictional friendship is born.
A lot of the book is a critique about outsourcing parenting: “But you see, any time my Mum got a glimpse of the raw me, she couldn’t take it. There’d be so much fear in her eyes. There was love too - I saw it. But the fear… that’s what stuck with me.” Connor tells us from beyond the grave. “My mother preferred to delegate. She treated me like one of her home renovation projects. Hire help. Call in the specialists. The best in the business. Let’s get this kid fixed up.” Meanwhile, Evan is exasperated with his nurse-Mum’s sudden attention: “One suicide and suddenly my Mum’s paying all this attention.” Neither of these scenarios seems especially real, and I resent the sense that all it takes is good parenting to make suicidal thoughts vanish.
Although the book tackles grief/guilt -which are intertwined well here - from a variety of angles (Connor’s Dad’s denial, his Mum’s effusive attempts to woo Connor’s ‘best friend’, Evan’s Mum’s continual checking up on her son, the whole school’s obsession with a boy they’d ignored), the only reaction that seemed real to me was Connor’s sister, Zoe, who is a jazz musician.
“Why should I play the grieving girl and lie?
Saying that I miss you an my
World has gone dark without your light?
I will sing no requiem tonight”
The emotional complexity of Zoe’s song (is it from the stage show?) seems to hold a truth that is missing from other characters’ reactions.
This could only be an American book. So much about owning your feelings and being authentic and carrying on through isolation and the need to validate the lives of those around you. Important, probably, since the readership is pretty much the real-life version of the people that Evans’ fictional ‘The Connor Project’ reaches. Kudos for the original concept (not many of those around these days), but the telling of it was underwhelming for me, with the characters coming across as banal and one-dimensional, and little to recommend the writing style – not even the inclusion of letters, SMS conversations and song lyrics.
Now that I’ve read it – I know why they’re asking for it. Teens will relate closely to Evan and Connor’s generalised anxiety about be absent from the world they inhabit, but If you want to read about grief and the impact of suicide – go read Beautiful Mess, which makes lots of the same points but with great characterisation and some lovely writing. If you’re feeling lonely, though, and invisible, and worry that today might be your last, or you know someone who you think may be feeling that way, then Dear Evan Hansen is for you.  show less

I'm on the record as not being a particularly big fan of the musical Dear Evan Hansen. I always found Evan to be a super unlikable character (what with the whole lying to a grieving family for the entirety of the musical thing) and so that made it a bit hard to fully connect with the, admittedly interesting, plot. But my bigger problem with the musical was the songs. I just didn't like them. They didn't work for me. They didn't feel like they were serving the story and they just sorta show more brought everything down. So, when I saw that Hachette Book Group was publishing a novelization of the musical, I figured I'd give it a shot. I did like the plot of the musical, and novels often make even the most unlikable character sympathetic in ways that more visual mediums aren't able to. I'm happy to report that while Val Emmich's novelization of the musical still has that one pretty big flaw in relation to Evan as a character, the novel is far more enjoyable than the musical is.

This book is a really good, engaging, quick read. It takes a little bit of time to fully hook you into the story, but once it does, you won't want to put it down. There are two major things about this novel that make it better than the musical, for me. The first is the way the story is told. Emmich utilizes a first-person point of view for the prose, literally taking us into Evan's mind as he experiences the events of the story. The musical does this, too, to a degree, but a visual medium can never take us as deeply into the mind of a character as a novel can. While many of the things that make Evan so unlikable (and unrelatable) to me are still present in the book, they're softened a bit by the prose. Emmich does a great job at capturing just how debilitating anxiety can be. How it can feel like something pressing against your chest so hard that it feels like you can't breathe. How you can slip so far down a spiral just by doing (or thinking about) one small thing. While I still can't remotely identify (or sympathize) with Evan's actions in the novel as they relate to literally lying to Connor's family, the prose does help you see his point-of-view and understand why and how he's gotten himself into this situation. The other major thing about the novel that elevates it above its source material is the inclusion of a series of interludes from Connor's point-of-view. They're all set after his death and feature Connor witnessing and reacting to various things in the novel. We find out a lot about Connor through this selection of short interludes. They make up maybe 10% of the book, but they're honestly the best parts of the book. Connor is way more likable than Evan is and it's so nice getting a brief insight into his mind, even if it's after he's dead.

Like I've mentioned, the novel still has a lot of the problems that the musical has. Thankfully, next to nothing related to the songs from the musical is present in the novel. There are a few bits where I think they're quoting or referencing a lyric, but they make sense in the context of the novel and it's not at all distracting. However, the bigger problem is Evan Hansen. While I (and many others) can relate to his anxiety, his feelings of loneliness, and a lot of his other characteristics, the part that always loses me (and many others) is the way his lie is portrayed. Both the stage show and the novel say his lie is an awful thing, but it seems like they never wanna actually prove that. He's not punished at all for it (though the epilogue of the novel does show how the aftermath of his confession has eaten away at his mind some) and so it rings a bit hollow. Yes, he loses Zoe and the comfort of the Murphy family, but he also gains his relationship with his mother back and essentially loses nothing else. The musical and the novel both paint his lie as something that ultimately brought the Murphy family closer together, which, sure, I can see how it did that, but wow does that seem to be a watering-down of how utterly traumatizing it must have been too. It's really hard to root for a lead character who spends the entirety of the novel literally lying to the grieving family of a dead kid that he's pretending he was friends with.

While I feel like there are elements of the musical (and the novel) that do a lot of good for mental health awareness, I feel like Evan's actions really reflect negatively on those with similar disorders to his. Most people with anxiety and/or depression would never do something like he did. Most people with anxiety and/or depression just do their best to get by, mostly trying to be kind to others and all that jazz. I can see why people identify with Evan's struggles because aside from the whole lying to a grieving family thing, his struggles are really relatable. I just worry that the fact that Evan never gets any kind of real comeuppance for his actions is a bad message that overshadows the really good message of the story. Yes, nobody should ever feel alone. Everyone should feel like life is worth living and that things will get better. Much of this novel (and the musical it's based on) are devoted to that idea, and the idea of the Connor Murphy Project is probably the best thing to come out of Evan's lie. The thing is, it's an equally important message that you shouldn't do half the stuff Evan does in this story. You shouldn't lie to a family for months. He should have come clean immediately before he did so much damage. He should've been punished in some way for it. Or, at least, more time should have been devoted to him dealing with the aftermath of coming clean about it so that that point could have been gotten across. I mean, I'm not looking to see his life get ruined by this (as I think that would also dilute the nice message of "things getting better" that the novel and musical are trying to present), but I do think there should have been more of an acknowledgment as to how awful what Evan did was. As it is, it just sort of feels like the novel (and the musical) is waving it away, trying to whitewash it as much as possible so that Evan still feels relatable and not like an awful person. But here's the thing: if you do an awful thing, it's not excused by the fact that you have a mental illness. The novel (and the musical) seem to try to excuse Evan's behavior with his anxiety, but it doesn't work that way. I wish that aspect was better communicated through the novel.

At the end of the day, Dear Evan Hansen is still a really good story. Yes, the main character is super unlikable and does a pretty despicable thing (and is never really punished for it), but the journey of the story is a really interesting one. Even with all its problems, the book is still a really good examination of what living with anxiety is like. The additions it makes to its source material are welcome ones and make the story far more engaging than it was on stage. It's not a difficult read and Evan does feel like a real person, which is always important for these first-person YA novels to pull off. If you liked the musical, you'll like the book; it takes everything that was good about the musical and makes it better. If you didn't like the musical, I'd encourage you to give the book a try anyway. You still might not like it, but, on the flip side, you might end up like me, someone who doesn't like or sympathize with Evan at all and really dislikes the music from the musical, but enjoys the plot of the musical enough to really get into the book. It's super flawed and leaves a lot to be desired, but I enjoyed it well enough.

3.5 wands out of 5. show less

Don't think about it too long. Because the heart and the humor (of which there is plenty) will buckle under the weight of how inappropriate this story really is. The deeper Evan digs his hole, the harder it is to root for his redemption.

I am legit still processing this book, so I will write whatever pours out, it might be the ramblings of a reader or a true heartfelt review. I will begin with I joined an additional reading challenge in one of the groups I am on here on Goodreads, we had some prompts to choose fun but overall to just read as many books as we can.

I have so many books and therefore enlisted the help of my daughter to help me choose books for these prompts/ my June TBR pile. The prompt she chose this book for show more was a book related to music and although this book doesn't per say have to do with music it is based of a musical so eh, it fits.

I started this today around 10ish in the morning I think and finished a little after 10 pm. This was an amazing read, I mean I literally couldn't put it down but between my household duties I did and then kept going.

Dear Evan Hansen is about suicide, the repercussions of suicide, the lies one teenager falls into but must keep up with and the fall out. Val Emmich did an amazing job taking us on this journey of two boys that cross paths and how it impacts them and everyone around them.

What one lie can spiral into, what as parents we fail to see or assume to know about our children, drugs and homosexuality and lack of understanding our children can really impact them.

I couldn't put this book down it took me on a whirlwind of emotions, as a parent, as a person who has suffered from depression for so long and as a person that has lost loved ones to suicide.

“I wish that everything was different. I wish that I was a part of something. I wish that anything I said mattered, to anyone. I mean, let's face it: would anybody even notice if I disappeared tomorrow?” How many of us have had that same thought crossed their mind? I can sit here and honestly tell you it's probably a thought that has crossed my mind more times that I'd like to admit to but it has.

I am so glad my daughter chose this book for me, I am still in my feels about it but I do recommend and will give it the 5 stars it deserves, there is nothing I could ask for better in this book.

Because this book does talk about suicide, drugs, death, homosexuality please search if it would have triggers for you before reading.

If you ever find yourself in a situation that it feels there is no way out, there is help, please reach out to the following links below or google for your near by Suicide prevention hotline. You are not alone!!

https://www.thetrevorproject.org - an organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ youth

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
Languages: English, Spanish
Hours: Available 24 hours > show less