Debra Ollivier

There is plenty to love about Debra Ollivier's Entre Nous: A Woman's Guide to Finding Her Inner French Girl, but you have to take is with a grain of sel. French women are justifiably famous for their poise, style, and general savoir-faire, so there is appeal in a book that sets out to teach American women how to emulate their Gallic sisters.

But the sisterhood Ollivier holds up as a model is laughably elite. The 'French girl' she describes lives in Paris, works at some chi chi job like show more 'restor[ing] the muted shades of an eighteenth century fresco,' and has a family chateau in a medieval village in Dordogne. That would be like saying a typical 'American girl' is a San Francisco magazine editor with a family vineyard in Napa, or a handbag designer in Manhattan who escapes to the 25-room family 'cottage' Down East for the summer.

But if you can accept Ollivier's idealized vision of the emblematic French female – which spills over to a generally romanticized view of all things French, especially its socialized economy – you can appreciate her suggestions on how to attain the je ne sais quoi French women do seem to enjoy.

For instance, Ollivier discusses how to develop a sense of self-possession French women demonstrate, how to appreciate life more sensually, how to value quality over quantity, and how to cultivate a deep discretion about your personal and family life. Ollivier discusses these qualities as they relate to several areas, including personal satisfaction, friends and entertaining, and careers.

Most enjoyable were the sidebars throughout the book that provide mini-biographies on French women, film and book recommendations, suggestions on how to follow the example of French women, and information about French life and customs.

There is an inherent irony a self-help book purporting to teach American women to be more like French women who, Ollivier tells us, are so bien dans sa peau – comfortable in their own skin – that they would never read a self-help book. C'est la vie.

Also posted on Rose City Reader. show less

After having spend another wonderful weekend in Paris, I spotted this book at our local library and thought - how lovely! One cannot help but notice the wonderfully poised girls and women all over Paris and there certainly is much truth in the French, both women and man, for that matter, owing a lot of what they are made of to their very limiting tradition and education. Discipline is good for you, many would say. And yes, French kids are politer then some others, and mostly well-behaved. show more But as someone mentioned before, it is the well-to-do kids and their intellectual parents Ollivier is looking at. They certainly are a part of life in France, probably especially in Paris, and although they may not represent the average, and not the majority, they is something special about them, something one may want to examine more closely and see whether it is worth following as an example.
It would be hard not to notice Ollivier's enthusiasm for all things French, and I love the extra reference boxes with suggestions for movies and books etc. which support or digress on whatever is being discussed. The books is both a simple and charming start for a newly discovered franco-filles, if you will excuse my pun. show less

If American author, Debra Olliver, sat down at my kitchen table and mentioned that she had lived in France for ten years with her French husband, and I in my exuberance asked her to tell me all about French women over coffee, What French Women Know would be a transcript of the resulting conversation. In a lengthy conversational essay, Olliver expounds on every personal anecdote, pop culture reference, and quote she can muster relating to the French woman—a woman who boasts an show more internationally acclaimed allure.

What can an American woman learn in the 240 pages addressing the secrets of the French approach to life, love and most definitely sex? If you’d like to know, first you must concede that the average French woman is simply sexier, more self assured, and more sophisticated than the average American woman. If you can accept that premise, then this smartly explores how French Culture produces a distinct woman, and how that woman captivates the world. What French Women Know is an enjoyable read, and the only book I’ve read to portray Edith Wharton as down right catty. show less

Ollivier takes us through the various facets of a French woman's life. The pros: the book is neatly divided into categories such as mentalities, dress, traditions, leisure, home life, etc. There are little asides for films and books for further reading; most observations are true although not always on the mark. The cons: Ollivier makes sweeping generalizations that are sometimes frankly annoying; this book is all about the advantages and not at all about the disadvantages of France - even show more the negative (like the way the French treat their dogs) is portrayed as positive; she misses some key trademarks like how the French mix generations and include the young, middle age and old in most their activities; although she does sometimes talks positively of Americans she mostly portrays them as vastly inferior to the French (I know many a French person who has left France for the more breathable, welcoming, open American society). A quick read, this book is not a huge investment of time so it's worth a detour, but I won't stake my perception of the French women on it - we're more than a stereotype. show less