Ricki Lake

So I am not pregnant.

But my sister-in-law was. And she had a miserable delivery. My neighbor(who I'm still convinced is superwoman) was also pregnant and she also had a terrible experience. Literally traumatizing. So much so that she may never be able to physically have another child.* So I'm becoming a bit of a best birth advocate. Which is why I read this book.

So, let's look at this book. It's definitely biased in favor of natural birth, less intervention, and being able to choose your show more experience instead of being dictated to by (sometimes) a person who has never and will never have a baby in their life.

That being said, they have plenty of evidence that this might be the best way in most cases. I liked it because it was less hipster than Gaskin, who kinda freaked me out at the beginning of her book, and also because I have seen, as pointed out at the beginning of the review, extreme negative experiences. It was also interesting that there is a spike in c-sections around 4pm and 9pm. Suspicious? Yep.

They are definitely more biased in favor of the patient than they are in favor of natural childbirth (at home, at a hospital, wherever). There were positive stories of hospital births. There were, according to them, valid reasons for going to the hospital, using an OBGYN, etc. ** I felt that they tried to be neutral and definitely wanted the best for their readers. However, the terminology "birth goddess" bugged a bit. Just a teensy bit hippie-ish.

Now I want to watch the film and see if they talk about the billing aspect... If Drs got paid less for a c-section and more for a natural delivery would they still schedule them as frequently?

My personal opinion is that we have become a society that can't deal with pain. I have ancestors who buried multiple children, spouses, left their homes 7 times, never saw their parents or siblings again, were dirt-poor for the entirety of their life. They didn't avoid or block the pain(and, for the records, surprisingly few of them died in childbirth) . For them it was a part of life. Something to be worked through, not buried. We're a little different of a society now. If you can't handle this kind of pain, get that epidural. No shame. But I don't believe that any birth will be 100% pain free. It can't. That isn't the nature of life.

Final note (and please don't be insulted): I read several of the negative reviews that were rather scathing about the "agenda." Yes, there is a bias. Yes, their agenda aligns with that bias. But they have the stats and reports to back it up. And they are accessible. Provide your own stats, instead of emotionally rationalizing that they must be wrong. Or, acknowledge that your fear of the unknown might be the greatest need and then go to the hospital and use all the stuff. Guilt does not seem to be their objective.

You can go into your Drs office and ask what he thinks is best. Then ask for the studies. Then read the studies. Pills have been pushed based on studies that included 50 people or less and, up until a surprisingly short time ago, it was not permissible to do studies involving pregnant women.*** Just saying. And then, if you're satisfied, take the advice. That's why it is so important that you do this before delivery. I have another sister-in-law who's had 3 children. She's done induction, epidural, and natural(in the hospital). And, for her, the natural was the easiest, least painful experience between the three.


*My husband is compiling a list of physicians I can never see based on our acquaintances' experiences. Who does that? He does, because he rocks.
** Thank you Downton Abbey for a making Preeclampsia education a thing. And thank you Downton Abbey for also making pre-birth jitters more prevalent.
*** Read [b:Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - and the Unexpected Solutions|34921573|Lost Connections Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - and the Unexpected Solutions|Johann Hari|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1500785858s/34921573.jpg|56184854] and [b:Doing Harm: The Truth About How Bad Medicine and Lazy Science Leave Women Dismissed, Misdiagnosed, and Sick|30653955|Doing Harm The Truth About How Bad Medicine and Lazy Science Leave Women Dismissed, Misdiagnosed, and Sick|Maya Dusenbery|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1513491498s/30653955.jpg|51198903] show less

Normally I avoid books by television personalities, so it is probably for the best that I didn’t notice Ricki Lake’s name on the book when I first requested it from the publisher. Although I had heard of her documentary, made with the co-author of this book, “The Business of Being Born,” I didn’t actually realize it was hers. Then the book arrived, I saw the name of a talk show host on the cover, and I put the book off for awhile.

Man, do I wish I hadn’t done that. “Your Best show more Birth” was absolutely fantastic. Ricki and Abby have done a lot of research into birth in America and around the world, and it shows. As the title clearly states, Ricki and Abby are in favor of as natural a birth as possible and they are completely up front about this. There is absolutely no attempt to hide their agenda and engage in scare tactics.

One of the things that I most appreciated about “Your Best Birth” is that the real agenda was not to push natural birth, but to get women informed about their choices in childbirth and what options there are other than traditional hospital birth, as well as the pros and cons of various procedures. Far from denigrating things like induced labor and epidurals, Abby and Ricki listed the benefits and risks of these procedures, listing times when these would be valid or beneficial treatments and times when they are not necessarily in the best interest of mother and child. They recognized the need for women to make their own decisions, and were never negative about women who make different choice than they would themselves. In addition, they seemed to cover every birth and labor (as far as I can tell, since I will be giving birth for the first time in the next month or two). Following are the chapter headings, so you can see the breadth of what they cover:

1. Not Your Mama’s Birth Plan
2. Your Best Birth Place
3. Obstetricians: Finding Dr. Right
4. Midwives: Not Just For Hippies Anymore
5. Doulas: Labor’s Love
6. The Guest List: Birth as a Private Party
7. For Sexual Abuse Survivors, a Healing
8. Epidurals: You Haven’t Got Time for the Pain
9. Inductions and Pitocin; Let’s Get This Party Started
10. Electronic Monitors: Reading Between the Lines
11. Episiotomies, Vacuums, and Forceps: The (Un)Kindest Cut
12. Cesarean Sections and VBAC: To C or Not to C
13. Loving Your Labor
14. Bonding With Baby

My only real problem with this book is that it wasn’t published 9 months ago when I was just thinking about getting pregnant. I might have done more research to choose a hospital with a lower C-section rate (ours is 40%, above the national average of 31%, although my obstetrician’s practice has a lower average than that). I also would have known the questions to ask my health care provider and hospital so that I can have the sort of birth I want - in fact, I’d know what on earth my options even are, as not too many of my friends have had babies yet. However, even knowing that it is likely that my birth at this hospital may not be what I would now consider my ideal after having learned all my options, this book still calmed many of my anxieties about labor, just by fully explaining what would be happening and what choices I have.

I would highly recommend this book to pregnant women, those thinking of becoming pregnant, and partners of pregnant women. At the very least, it is a great start to thinking about how you want your birth to be, instead of simply going with the flow at the hospital. And even if it is too late to incorporate some of Abby and Ricki’s ideas into your birth plan, you can still come away from this book feeling empowered (in a totally non-cheesy way) and confident about giving birth. I may be giving this as gifts to pregnant friends in the future. show less

Last word first: A great look at childbirth, with so much more detail than that chapter at the back of "What to Expect."

About the Book (from the Hachette site): With chapters such as "Obstetricians: Finding Dr. Right," "Epidurals: You Haven't Got Time for the Pain," and "Electronic Monitors: Reading between the Lines," Lake and Epstein will encourage you to consider whatever your doctor, mother, and best friend may suggest in a new light. The book also includes inspiring birth stories, show more including those from well-known personalities, such as Laila Ali and Cindy Crawford. Packed with crucial advice from childbirth professionals, and delivered in a down-to-earth, engaging voice, YOUR BEST BIRTH is sure to renew your confidence and put the control back where it belongs: with parents-to-be!

My Thoughts: After two children of my own, hearing dozens of birth stories from my friends, and watching hundreds of episodes of "A Baby Story" on TLC, I didn't think there was much related to childbirth that I hadn't at least heard of. Turns out I was wrong.

In "Your Best Birth," authors Ricki Lake (yes, that Ricki Lake) and Abby Epstein do a great job of telling it like it is, presenting tons of different options for delivery venue, pain control, procedures, etc. I really enjoyed the sidebars with celebrity birth stories, including Laila Ali and Cindy Crawford (because who doesn't love to hear about the stars screaming obsenities at their husbands?).

I thought that this was a fairly balanced book, but the biggest complaint I have heard about this book from other readers is that it "pushes natural childbirth." I think maybe we are all too used to thinking about childbirth as a medical problem, requiring medical intervention, when really it's a natural process. Sometimes medical intervention is necessary (I've had two inductions and an epidural) but I don't think this should always be our first answer. Sure, it's easier to just listen to whatever your doctor tells you to do, but I think we each have a responsibility to be informed, use our critical thinking skills, and make decisions about our healthcare. Even if that decision is "I'm going to do whatever my doctor tells me."

This book was well-written; I found the style enjoyable and easy to understand. If you're from Canada, or anywhere outside the US, for that matter, keep in mind that parts of this book aren't going to apply to you, since our health care system is so different.

Overall, I thought this was a great book. Even if you don't agree with the authors' views, it's good to get a different perspective. show less

I haven't seen Lake's famous documentary, The Business of Being Born--I know that I want a hospital birth, and was worried it would be too scary (lame, I know). But I found this book really helpful and empowering. Although there's a clear preference for natural birth, what the authors are really arguing for is that the mother be aware of what's going on and a full participant in decisions, whether that leads to a nonmedicated birth or to a scheduled C-section. A variety of birth stories are show more included, as well a lot of information about medical and non-medical reasons for interventions like induction. Newborn procedures are also covered. If you know what your hospital and caregivers are likely to suggest, and when there might be a reason for them, you are better prepared to remain in control of your birth (as much as anyone can)--to say "no thanks" to the IV, for instance. This book also makes a good gift because it's not overwhelmingly "crunchy" or anti-hospital; a person who isn't sold on natural childbirth won't find it off-putting. show less