Mikki Brammer

3.5⭐

“But the secret to a beautiful death is to live a beautiful life. Putting your heart out there. Letting it get broken. Taking chances. Making mistakes.”

Thirty-six-year-old Clover Brooks works as a Death Doula in New York City, guiding her clients through the last days of their lives – keeping them company while also taking note of their last wishes and much more to make the transition easier for them. Witnessing the death of her kindergarten teacher as a child fueled her interest show more in the subject of death and her academic pursuit in thanatology. When she was twenty-three, her grandfather, who had raised her passed away while she was traveling, and this further motivated her to her engage in this line of work. Though she is a consummate professional and takes pains to not get emotionally attached to her clients, she does record her experiences in three notebooks documenting what her clients share with her through their interactions in the form of -“Regrets”, “Advice” and “Confessions”. Her social life is practically non-existent and her closest friend is Leo, her elderly neighbor and a friend of her late grandfather. When she isn’t working, she spends her time watching movies, attending death cafes and watching her neighbors through their open windows. When Clover meets Claudia, a terminally ill but spirited ninety-one-year-old former photojournalist and grandmother of Sebastian, whom she met in a death café, Claudia’s stories and her regrets, encourage Clover to take stock of her life and her own regrets. Uncharacteristically for her, she finds herself on a quest to help Claudia in a personal matter – a regret that Claudia has harbored over a lifetime – and doing so just might enable Clover to look at her own life and regrets from a fresh perspective.

“The truth is, grief never really goes away. Someone told me once that it’s like a bag that you always carry— it starts out as a large suitcase, and as the years go by, it might reduce to the size of a purse, but you carry it forever.”

One might expect a story that revolves around a death doula to be morbid and/or depressing. But Mikki Brammer’s debut novel The Collected Regrets of Clover is far from that. A celebration of life that urges you to enjoy every moment, take advantage of the opportunities life throws your way and live life with as few regrets as possible, this story conveys a beautiful message. The flashbacks to Clover’s childhood and her memories of her grandfather are so beautifully written and I just loved Claudia. Sylvie was an interesting character, to say the least.

However, there are a few aspects of this story that prevent me from giving it a higher rating. Clover’s characterization felt both inconsistent and unconvincing. On one hand, she is portrayed as someone well-traveled (researching her area of study in her twenties) and displays much maturity in her professional life but much of what we see of her in her personal life reads as a tad immature for a thirty-six-year-old. I also understand loneliness and the importance of human connection but Clover’s attempts at alleviating her feelings of loneliness by peeping into the lives of others (literally, with a pair of binoculars) was a tad off-putting, though I did feel sad for Clover. On this note, while I can see a character who has led such an otherwise solitary life harboring a great deal of grief and closed off from friendship or romantic relationships take gradual steps in emerging from her self-constructed shell, the romance track (which I felt was unnecessary) and the changes in Clover’s worldview in this story felt a tad rushed.

Overall, this is a lovely story with a beautiful message that will resonate with many. I truly appreciate the premise and found the subject matter relevant and thought-provoking. There is a lot to like about this story and I appreciate the author’s effort to shed light on sensitive topics such as aging, loneliness and the need for end-of-life respect and comfort.

Many thanks to author Mikki Brammer, St. Martin’s Press and NetGalley for the digital review copy of this novel. All opinions expressed in this review are my own.

“So maybe we just need to appreciate that many aspects of life— and the people we love— will always be a mystery. Because without mystery, there is no magic. And instead of constantly asking ourselves the question of why we’re here, maybe we should be savoring a simpler truth: We are here.” show less

I had no idea what to expect when I started reading this book. It felt different: serious, somber, deliberately paced, and the central topic was something I knew nothing about. There was a tinge of sadness. Maybe more than a tinge. A character that says, “I rarely got to exchange physical touch with another person. It had always been that way – I didn’t even know if I was ticklish” immediately tugs at your heart. And this book that I wasn’t quite sure about, with its focus on show more death, ultimately became what may be my favorite book of the year, or one of my favorites of all time.

Clover’s early life was almost devoid of human contact, tenderness or love. Her parents abandoned her in spirit by travelling and always leaving her in the care of a neighbor. A neighbor who cared for her but who didn’t care about her. And then her parents literally left her when they died in an accident. The grandfather who raised her, despite his affection and care, was not a demonstrative man. She was already an outsider by then, though. She was just too comfortable with death for “normal” people to be comfortable with her.

Clover became a death doula after her grandfather died. She regretted not being there when he died and turned to the job of doula, providing support to the dying in a variety of ways. Her sensitivity and compassion make her excellent at it; she “collects” regrets of the dying in carefully maintained journals. Sometimes a little voice way, way, way in the back of her head wishes she had someone to share her life with, to sit in companionable silence and read, to exchange book recommendations. But she accepts that it will likely never happen. Her life is what it is and always will be.

Up to this point The Collected Regrets of Clover is a fascinating story of an unusual woman’s unusual life. But suddenly through the combination of a new friend in her apartment building who won’t take leave me alone for an answer, some prodding by her elderly neighbor, a budding relationship and a new client, Clover’s life opens up, and the story becomes amazing. To fulfill the final wishes of her client, she takes a road trip looking for clues to a lost love. Along the way Clover blossoms, her life blossoms and for the first time she sees that her possibilities may just be endless.

Death doulas, death cafes, death midwives – all unique and will keep you turning pages. But what will captivate you is the elegant, poetic, thoughtful writing, the attention to detail, and the threads that run throughout the book beginning to end, twisting, turning and connecting the past and the present and the people and the feelings. And then there is Clover. She is most captivating of all: a tender soul, a delight just waiting to be discovered.

Thanks to St. Martin's Press & Wednesday Books for providing an advance copy of The Collected Regrets of Clover via NetGalley for my reading pleasure and honest opinion. For a book that is all about death this story is full of life. It’s warm and comforting and reading it just makes you feel good. There are not many books like this and we should appreciate them. All opinions are my own. show less

Joy and Hazel, both in their late 80s, are polar opposites. Joy always obeys the rules, always does the right thing while Hazel is adventurous, loves life, travel, and fun. Yet, they have been friends since school days when Hazel protected Joy from bullies. When Hazel tells Joy she has terminal cancer, Hazel is at peace with it having lived her life on her own terms, leaving no regrets. Joy, however, doesn’t know how she will survive without her best friend and, for the first time, she show more decides to live outside her comfort zone and break the rules.

Good Joy, Bad Joy is a beautifully written novel, a heartwarming love story to life, celebrating female friendships, facing life head on, embracing change regardless of age, and, yes, finding joy. The story is told at a steady pace, providing heart, wisdom, and even a touch of humour. It is impossible not to root for Hazel and Joy both good and bad as it slowly reveals their different paths through life while never losing their love for each other. This is a story full of emotion, yet it never feels manipulative and I recommend it highly.

I received an early audiobook from Netgalley and Macmillan audio. The story is narrated by Kimberly M Wetherell and Maggi-Mae Reid, both of whom do an excellent job. All opinions are my own. show less

Death. It’s fearful. Yet, this book brings new meaning to the word with characters that are very much alive. Some are a little quirky. Some say meaningful thoughts. And some make me smile or laugh out loud. This book is one that makes you look at the world differently.

Clover is 36 years old. She’s a death doula which is a person that helps someone in their last moments. She doesn’t have medical training. She is one that holds the hand of someone dying when the family is emotionally show more removed. She listens and helps them reflect on their life if that’s what they want. She helps them find peace with any regrets.

I fell in love with all of the characters in this book. Clover’s grandfather, Patrick, took care of her at age six in his NYC apartment when her parents died in an accident. Years later after he passed, his friend Leo in the same apartment building gave her inspiration and comfort. He was her only friend until Sylvie, a new neighbor came along. Sylvie got her out of her shell and encouraged her to go on a date. Yet, it was Claudia that had a powerful presence even though she was dying at 91 years old. She reminded me of my mother who was very direct and like Claudia, asked me to look up a past love that she once had a month before she died.

Clover asked her clients if they had any regrets in life. One person said they didn’t start eating mangos until she was 50 and only wished it was sooner. Another regret was not splurging on expensive dish soap. And, she heard others say they wished they were more in touch with those they loved. She wrote these thoughts in a journal including the last words someone spoke such as: I’m tired; It’s cold in here and I wish I told them how much I loved them.

The book is one to remember, to read again and recommend to others. It’s not just to help those that may be grieving but everyone needs to be more comfortable with what happens in the end of our lives. “People tell themselves they’ve got plenty of time until they’re at the mercy of careless action.” This is one of the best books I’ve read this year.

My thanks to Mikki Brammer, St. Martin’s Press and NetGalley for allowing me to read this advanced copy with an expected release date of May 9, 2023. show less