Opal Carew

This is one of those books that gave me fits from the very beginning. In fact, it gave me such horrible fits that I had to email [info]calico_reaction just to bitch about it.

It's an erotic romance. Basic plot: Jenna's dating Ryan, who works all the freaking time. They've been together for a year and a half and yet haven't had sex in three months. So she's trying to get him interested in her again and tells her about some of her sexual fantasies--namely "sex with a stranger" (y'know, where show more the couple acts like different people, meets somewhere public, gives different names, etc.). So she's at a friend's wedding with her best friend, wondering what's wrong with her boyfriend (who's away on business) and after talking it through with the best friend decides that maybe it's time to break up. So she's standing in the hotel lobby, pretty upset, when Ryan walks up and introduces himself as Jake. She's thinking, "Holy crap! He's surprising me and acting out my fantasy!" so she introduces herself as Aurora. They end up going upstairs to his suite, have really hot sex, spend the night together, have really hot sex in the mirrored elevator the next morning (aww yeah) and that's that. Because, y'know, she's thinking it's her boyfriend. She ends up pregnant from that night.

Then finds out her boyfriend has an identical twin brother named Jake. The night before she and Ryan are getting married.

Yes, ends up she really fucked Jake that night at the hotel and it's his baby. The fucked up thing? Ryan proposed to her after she told him she was pregnant knowing it wasn't his kid but didn't bother to set her straight.

Well, Jake's decided he's in love with Jenna, and since he is the baby's daddy the three of them strike a deal--Jenna will go to live with Jake for a month without Ryan around so they can get to know each other, and from there she'll choose which one she wants to be with. And of course being pregnant has her hormones racing so she jumps Jake's bones pretty damned quickly considering she's supposed to be in love with his brother.

Ryan shows up and has decides he's not going to let Jake steal *this* girl away from him (Jake's the fun one, Ryan's the straight-laced one and almost all of Ryan's girlfriends as teens ended up leaving him for Jake). When Ryan shows up Jenna thinks he's Jake and unzips his pants and starts blowing him in the kitchen. And then Jake walks up. He's kinda turned on watching his brother get a blowjob. Jenna's embarrassed and feeling a little guilty. Ryan leaves and goes to a hotel in town, where Jenna meets him later and--of course--gets screwed silly. Oh, and she also finds out that one of the reasons Ryan showed up was to tell her the doctor had called and that she's pregnant with twins.

Yeah. I totally didn't see that one coming.

(Yes, that was sarcasm.)

Ryan then moves into Jake's house and stays in the basement. Jenna's a big ball of horny and doesn't feel right choosing one over the other, but eventually her hormones get the best of her and she goes to Jake's room where they have some more mind-blowing sex (this time against the bedroom door!). Ryan hears them because, well, Jenna is of course to top it all off a screamer.

Discomfort ensues. Jenna wants both of them. Oh, how to solve this problem?

By a threesome, of course, silly!

Multiple threesomes (and orgasms) ensue. Jenna decides she's in love with both of them. Neither of them wants to let her go. They have a top secret brotherly conversation and decide they can keep sharing her. They propose their idea to Jenna, who's at first a little taken aback but then quickly decides that hey, this way she'll get her cake and eat it too. So they all three live together in Jake's big house in the middle of nowhere, happily ever after.

For all intents and purposes this should be an interesting story. I mean, talk about some major conflict and tension going on. The problem is that the characters are bordering upon Too Stupid To Live (TSTL). Seriously. I wanted to hit Ryan when he proposed and scream at him--dude, she's having someone else's baby! I wanted to hit Jenna for not realizing the differences between Ryan and Jake. Jake's a little more muscular. Jake wears briefs. Ryan wears boxers. I'm sorry but if you've been dating someone for over a year and they all of a sudden switch from boxers to briefs you're going to notice. I wanted to hit Jake because after one night of basically anonymous sex he's decided he's in love with Jenna (well, Aurora since he doesn't know her real name at the time). None of them are using any sort of protection, and her excuse when her best friend asks her about it is, "But I'm as regular as a clock." At that point I wanted to scream "You stupid woman! Being regular won't keep you from getting knocked up!" And then there's a sex scene in the shower between Jake and Jenna and they're soaping up each other's private parts--which admittedly can be hot--but then they have sex without washing the soap off of either of them. Um no. That shit would burn. Plus, soap tends to dry you out (which was a point one of my freaking male friends made when I texted him because I needed to rant to someone about it). There's also the fact that the author uses very purple prose. When I read erotica I expect certain words to be used. I do not want to see "intimate lubricant" (I texted the aforementioned male friend and said, "Intimate lubricant? This isn't a KY commercial.") or read about anyone's "cores" or "manhoods" or "sheathes" or any other flowery euphemisms you can use for penis and vagina. Just call it what it is.

And the only time the writing's actually *good* is during sex scenes--it's like the author doesn't know how to delve into the non-sexual side of anyone's relationships, and that, too, drove me nuts since this is supposed to be erotic romance rather than just straight up erotica. Mostly, though, the characters' stupidity is just driving me crazy. I mean, they're all computer programmers--all of them--and yet they're acting like a bunch of retarded monkeys. And yet I couldn't stop reading it because I wanted to know what happened and I knew there was a threesome scene and I honestly wanted to see how Carew handled a threesome involving two brothers.

Speaking of the threesome involving two brothers, I have to give Carew credit for making it somehow seem less icky than the idea really is. Sure, lots of women wonder what it would be like to be with two guys at once, and for some the idea of being with two brothers at once is hot simply because it's even more taboo. Me being me, though, I just kept wondering about what they would have done had there been any sword crossing. There is, however, some "fluid sampling," which was a bit odd considering I don't know many men who would be willing to go down on woman right after the other guy's come inside of her (hell, I know men who won't even kiss a woman after she's given him a blow job and swallowed).

After I'd set this book aside for a few days, though, I realized that what really bothered me was the irresponsiblity by all parties involved. There's already the aforementioned lack of birth control. I know that smart people can sometimes be stupid, but I'm always amazed when I meet someone in today's society who doesn't use some form of birth control on a regular basis, especially when that person is a smart person (and, let's face it, when you think computer programmer you think intelligent). There's also the aforementioned everyone falling in love without really knowing each other thing. But what really, really bothered me was the fact that the three of them decided to live together and raise the kids together.

As I read the epilogue, I kept thinking about how hard it was going to be for them to explain to the two boys why they had two daddies (and yes, they referred to Jake and Ryan as "Daddy Jake" and "Daddy Ryan") and why Mommy shared a bedroom with both of them. Furthermore, how the hell do you explain that in PTA meetings? Or to the kids' teachers? I'm not being judgemental, I'm just wondering how intelligent of a decision that one was, too. But hell, to each their own, right?

Overall, this was an okay book. It could have been better. Should have been much better. Plot wise, it was definitely lacking. The sex, however, was fairly hot. The excerpt in the back for Carew's next book looks pretty good (it's about a woman who convinces her coworker to go undercover with her to a swinger's resort in order to save her younger sister), so I might give the author another try. show less

Meat by Opal Carew
Source: Netgalley
My Rating: 3/5 stars
My Review:

Layovers, delays, and cancelled flights don’t ever turn out as well for the average person as they do for Rex and Rebecca 

When her flight home to Minneapolis is delayed and ultimately cancelled, a very strung out Rebecca is at the end of her tether and about to snap. Thankfully, she quite literally ran into the hottest man on Earth who just so happens to have a spare room in a hotel suite. Oh, and as an added bonus, he show more has a seriously big, you may be injured it’s so big cock. How can a girl possibly turn that down?

When Rebecca makes the decision to sleep with Rex, she does so knowing very little about him other than he has a ginormous cock, he is a generous lover who likes (nay needs!) to be in control in the bedroom, and he is going to Minneapolis for a work-related project. After their blissful night together, Rex makes it clear he wants to see Rebecca again and once his schedule allows, he will be contacting her. Much to Rebecca’s surprise, the day she returns to work at a hotel restaurant she finds Rex in her kitchen as the new head chef. As if this weren’t enough of surprise, the scuttlebutt says Rex is a tyrant and has been firing people left and right. What the hell???

As Rex and Rebecca interact over the next few days, it isn’t nearly as blissful as their night in the hotel suite. Rex is clearly hiding something and Rebecca can’t understand why he has so much authority over her restaurant. She considers the people she works with to be her family and takes each and every firing personally. To make matters even more intense, Rex tells Rebecca there are some serious shenanigans going on right under her nose and her beloved “family” is to blame. Yeah, that’s going to get her right back in his bed . . . .

The Bottom Line: This is another very, very short and fast standalone offering from Opal Carew. It’s an OK read with some stretches and reaches that don’t quite make sense but the read is just so short and packed full of naughty bits that you just don’t really care. I actually liked Rex quite a lot but found Rebecca to be somewhat childish. Every time Rex tried to explain a situation or discuss a concern with Rebecca she all but stomps her foot and leaves the room in a huff and a snit. Once Rex finally gets her to calm down and actually listen, the two are able to iron out their differences and make their way toward an HEA. Don’t put this one at the top of your TBR but if you have a spare hour and are looking for a naughty little read, Meat is the read for you. show less

Hard Ride: Part 2 of 3 by Opal Carew
Source: Netgalley
My Rating for the entire series: 4 - 4½/5 stars
My Mini-Review:

**CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR PART 1**

Part two of this naughty novella series opens with a very adamant Liv refusing to go home as Shock has insisted.

Both Liv and Shock have so many emotions warring with each other that they can’t see clear to what they both really want. Shock doesn’t want to be the second guy who forces Liv to have sex and Liv no longer wants to feel broken show more and afraid of being with a man. Screw the contract, Shock wants Liv and has since college. Liv wants to be with a man but more importantly, she wants that man to be Shock. Once she is able to convince Shock of her absolute willingness to be with him (no matter if there is a contract!) the two embark on a somewhat comfortable arrangement. Shock is far more experienced and open-minded about sex than Liv is but Liv is willing to experiment on a slow and steady basis. Liv’s naïveté about sex is as exciting to Shock as it is endearing. He understands Liv is willing but he also understands that he has to take things very slowly with her. Additionally, Shock truly likes Liv and wants to be sure she is treated with respect.

While Shock’s intentions are certainly good and his actions with Liv speak of nothing but respect his past is a factor and when Liv is confronted with it, she is all but slapped in the face. Apparently, Shock has a habit of contracting women and Liv feels as if she is nothing more than another sexual partner for hire. Her anger only intensifies when she realizes she has true feelings for Shock and doesn’t want to be just another notch in his bedpost. Fear of rejection and the cold, hard truth keep Liv from actually talking to Shock and the two are forced, yet again into a most uncomfortable situation.

Shock realizes almost instantly that Liv is so far beyond a sexual partner for hire but he knows she is skittish and has as much experience with relationships as she does with sex. Shock wants to tell Liv how he feels about her but fear keeps him from opening his mouth. He tries to show her how he feels through a beautiful night out and tender moments but the message doesn’t quite seem to be getting through. When Liv’s attitude changes and she won’t tell Shock why, Shock is totally confused, angry and, hurt and Liv is angry and hurt. The remedy? Behave like children and act out and irrationally. Just when things seem to be coming to a head, the truth of the whole situation comes out and Liv is forced to tell Shock (and the others!) the real reason she is with them all and why she needed the money in the first place. With one phone call, Liv’s world is turned upside down . . . . show less

OH MY!! So, now that I’ve cooled off a bit and smoked 1/2 a pack of cigarettes, I’m able to write this review. If the thought of having sex with a ’sexpert’ turns you on, you really need to get this book. There is vaginal sex, oral sex, anal sex, twosomes, threesomes, hypnotic sex, sex with fruit, sex with toys, and extended intense foreplay! If you’re still reading (because you haven’t gone away to order this book) and aren’t offended, you will definitely enjoy this book!

Hanna show more just wants to have an orgasm. Is that too much to ask? It’s not like her recent lover wasn’t willing to do whatever she needed…she just can’t let go. And now that she’s ended that relationship, she may never have one!! If only she could be brave enough to attend the Kama Sutra class she and her recent ex had enrolled in…but no, she’s too worried about what other people might think and too embarrassed to go alone. In a fit of pique, she seduces one of her recent coffee-shop customers…still no orgasm. But he’s intrigued, and also knowledgeable. Lucky, lucky Hanna has unknowingly just seduced the teacher of the class, a Kama Sutra and Tantic sexpert!

Poor Hanna, she’s caught between her ex (who’s back and wooing her again) and the sexpert. It’s a dilemma she can’t solve until she resolves to let go. And WOW, does she ever let go. I recommend turning your A/C down and your fan on before you sit down with this one. I loved it!!! show less