Alice Miller (1) (1923–2010)

These watercolors are haunting. Miller has insight into how to tap into repressed childhood pain- the ways to get there, how to take what comes out of your unconscious seriously, and to take your pain seriously, and is able to pass on the perspective necessary to allow others to heal, and to paint, and to use their art to explore their pain. It is a call to all of us to not fetishize our art and our pain, and to not form identity around our pain, but to really experience it, and to have the show more courage to move forward connected to our childhood reality. A badass woman and a badass book. I have been painting ever since reading it, and it has changed my life. show less

Alice Miller nails it. Children who are prevented from developing an authentic self by narcissistic or otherwise harmful and inadequate parenting will find validation, solace, and guidance through the resulting pain, anger, and confusion. I wish the author had used a less misleading title.

Old but never dated, this is among the 10 most important books ever written about psychology and human behaviour. The subject is intense but the book itself is easy to read, no technical jargon here. Should be mandatory in every school. Certainly not an uplifting book but one we really need.

I just finished this book and will revisit this review later.

I have been going to therapy for 4 years, starting with psychoanalysis and recently switching to modern CBT. I believe that the impact this book had on me was only made possible with the help of my wonderful therapists.

That said, this book unlocked something deep and important in me. I cried several times throughout reading it, and upon finishing, had the biggest and longest cry of my adult life. The rage, fear, and sadness that I show more had bottled up inside, the crying, lonely, abused boy inside of me, could finally express himself fully.

I believe that this process has only begun, and it will take many more months for that child in me to truly feel safe, seen, respected, and loved.

Thank you, Alice Miller, for this book. It has been life-changing.

My personal next step, and what I recommend for those who have finished reading this book, is to read about and understand what it means to forgive. If we do not forgive, we cannot truly move on. But the first step is understanding and acceptance, which this book helped me do. show less