Karen Conterio

I believe that this book did an outstanding job of describing self harm, common conditions and experiences of self injurers and used case studies from thier program to back them up.

The main focus of this book is that self harm is a coping mechanism. It can be used to cope with overwhelming feelings (thus gaining control or becoming numb), it can be used for people who can't stand feeling any emotions at all--but it is a choice that the self-injurer makes.

When looking at self harm in this show more way: that it is just a different way to cope with difficult situations, then it becomes easier to treat, and normalizes it to a point where the therapist/counselor/parent/teacher doesn't have to think anything negative about the person--it's simply a maladaptive coping mechanism.

Like any other behavior, it can be unlearned, or replaced with more positive behaviors (writing, walking, listening to music, talking to someone, getting a hug, the list goes on). But, (and this is a big but) that is ONLY if the person wants to change thier behavior. I read one of the criticisms of this book was that the authors blatantly come out and say they will only work with individuals who want to change. Simply put, a treatment program will only be beneficial if the person wants to change--regardless if the behavior is self harm, addiction, anxiety, or even shyness. At least they understand that. I agree with the critic however that there is very likely going to be a time (or two) when I will find myself working with someone who does not want to change: they are having their needs met by harming, so why would they change? Here the book still had tips for how to help the self-injurer move to a different stage of change: pointing out that self harm does not hurt only the person hurting themselves (but others as well)--a common theme from self injurers is that they are the only ones getting hurt, so why does it matter? Also, making sure that the self injurer understands that they are someone too, and hurting them DOES hurt someone (many self injurers have esteem issues, and will not even see themselves as people who matter).

Overall, I think this is a great book for teachers, counselors, anyone who is likely to work with someone who self harms. It has a great section on what the helper can do as well, and includes how to set boundaries to avoid burnout and taking responsibility for the self harm by the counselor.

The bottom line from this book about self harm is that it is a choice, and it can be changed. show less

I believe that this book did an outstanding job of describing self harm, common conditions and experiences of self injurers and used case studies from thier program to back them up.

The main focus of this book is that self harm is a coping mechanism. It can be used to cope with overwhelming feelings (thus gaining control or becoming numb), it can be used for people who can't stand feeling any emotions at all--but it is a choice that the self-injurer makes.

When looking at self harm in this show more way: that it is just a different way to cope with difficult situations, then it becomes easier to treat, and normalizes it to a point where the therapist/counselor/parent/teacher doesn't have to think anything negative about the person--it's simply a maladaptive coping mechanism.

Like any other behavior, it can be unlearned, or replaced with more positive behaviors (writing, walking, listening to music, talking to someone, getting a hug, the list goes on). But, (and this is a big but) that is ONLY if the person wants to change thier behavior. I read one of the criticisms of this book was that the authors blatantly come out and say they will only work with individuals who want to change. Simply put, a treatment program will only be beneficial if the person wants to change--regardless if the behavior is self harm, addiction, anxiety, or even shyness. At least they understand that. I agree with the critic however that there is very likely going to be a time (or two) when I will find myself working with someone who does not want to change: they are having their needs met by harming, so why would they change? Here the book still had tips for how to help the self-injurer move to a different stage of change: pointing out that self harm does not hurt only the person hurting themselves (but others as well)--a common theme from self injurers is that they are the only ones getting hurt, so why does it matter? Also, making sure that the self injurer understands that they are someone too, and hurting them DOES hurt someone (many self injurers have esteem issues, and will not even see themselves as people who matter).

Overall, I think this is a great book for teachers, counselors, anyone who is likely to work with someone who self harms. It has a great section on what the helper can do as well, and includes how to set boundaries to avoid burnout and taking responsibility for the self harm by the counselor.

The bottom line from this book about self harm is that it is a choice, and it can be changed. show less

A good informative book on self-injury, not as good as some others I've read, but a helpful resource for self-harmers nonetheless.