Shelly Jay Shore

5 stars

POV: 3rd person, present tense

Ezra sees ghosts, although he tries really hard not to and no one he is close to knows, not even his ex-boyfriend turned friend. It makes it hard to deal with his family, though, who own and operate a funeral home, which is just across the yard from their house. When Ezra's family implodes after his mother hijacks a holiday, Ezra ends up working at the family business to help out. (And to earn some money while his job is on hiatus.) But things aren't show more going well for the family business, and Ezra's new, attractive downstairs neighbour also helps at the funeral home as a volunteer.

I was about 3/4 of the way through this book when I realized it was present tense. Which, I intensely dislike present tense, so if I didn't notice that it was, especially 3rd person? Really good writing. I was so immersed in Ezra and what was going on in his life and how everything was coming together and falling apart at the same time that piddly little things like tense didn't even register. I loved all of the characters, whether they had 1 line or more. Everyone was clearly drawn and had a place and purpose to the story. And watching Ezra come into himself and out of the shadow of his family and expectations was marvelous. Slowly, slowly, Ezra started to believe in himself and that he was worthy of attention and help just the way he was. I liked that the characters weren't perfect, that they made mistakes, but that they kept going and understood that no one was perfect. Overall, this was a great reading experience and I definitely look forward to more from this author. show less

Three and a half stars. The title and cover alone were enough to get me to check this out from the library when it came in. I read the synopsis more thoroughly when I actually grabbed it. From that, I was expecting this to be a wild, zany rom-com that I would probably be annoyed by.

I was not expecting the tender romantic drama this wound up being. I was blindsided by the realistic, sympathetic portrayals of grief and stunned to learn about angles of widowhood that never occurred to me. I show more stared incredulously at the words on the page when the adult children were mad at their mom, and even more so when -they called her out- on her continued behavior. When this happens, whether in media or IRL, I feel like people are pressured to sweep it under the rug, especially when both cheaters are of the same sex but their spouses are not.

I had never heard the phrase "grief rebound." I set the book down and puzzled over whether I had been a grief rebound for a widow (? they were engaged when the other partner died) I had dated for a few months, over a decade ago. I remembered conversations we had and realized I had not been a rebound, simply because my date had dated people before me after their fiancee died.

There's a lot of heavy themes in this that I thought were handled realistically or like, better than other authors would have. As such, I couldn't read the book in one sitting. I rolled my eyes when a certain emergency event took place because it moved the book into soap opera territory, but at least everyone was okay. The roommates were supposed to be the funny ones but they were annoying. The banter did not land with me. The dog was there to be cute but somehow I didn't care. Just eh, fine, cool. But all of this needed to be there, otherwise the book would be far darker and I would have wondered at finishing it.

I adored the portrayals of Judaism and observant practices in this. I grumbled at some flippant moments but understood, and they did fit. If they hadn't been in there, this again would have been a different book. Inwardly I cheered at the characters discussing their varied relationships to Judaism and Jewishness.

I'm eager to check out other works of the author. show less

Rules for Ghosting exists at the center of a complex Venn diagram of genres: paranormal, queer, family drama, romance, comedy. It's the story of Ezra and his family and the family of friends he's building alongside. Ezra's a pre-surgery trans man who's spent his life being the problem solver for everyone in his family. He also happens to see ghosts—which partly explains why he fled his family's funeral home business early on. He's trying to give up his habit of fixing everything—and show more apologizing for everything—and is at the start of a potential romance with a dreamy man. A dreamy man whose husband died a year ago, and that husband's ghost has been appearing to Ezra, asking Ezra to "fix it," but what "fix it" means is unclear. Add to that an early scene played out on the first night of Passover: Ezra's mom reveals that she and the Rabbi's wife have been lovers for years and want to leave their husbands to live together. There are yet more complications, but this gives you a taste of the ground Rules for Ghosting covers.

I love a book with an interesting premise and Rules for Ghosting is definitely that. Shelly Jay Shore writes the way some jugglers juggle, keeping a mix of chainsaws, hearts, family memories, bottles of wine, risks taken and risks fled, and a very large dog up in the air simultaneously. At times, this becomes a bit exhausting for the reader, but the exhaustion is well-balanced with the unfolding of the book's characters and the challenges they face. One I started, I knew I wouldn't be putting it down.

If you're looking for a good beach read that offers a sort of 21st Century queer comedy of manners, Rules for Ghosting is your book. Maybe you haven't been looking for such a book, but take a moment to ask yourself "should I start looking?" If the answer is yes, then, again, Rules for Ghosting is your book.

I received a free electronic review copy of this title from the publisher via NetGalley; the opinions are my own. show less

Thanks Dell for the gifted book.

I loved RULES FOR GHOSTING. I laughed and was in tears. On the whole, this was a heavier read, definitely not a lighthearted romance. Trans representation and Jewish culture were approached with care. Despite literal (and figurative) ghosts being a major theme, the paranormal aspect didn’t feel out of the ordinary. The breadth of topics covered was ambitious, but worked out. I recommend RULES FOR GHOSTING for readers who enjoy queer reads that lean more show more toward being character-driven. show less