Heidi Cullinan

Wow.

This isn't just a love story.

This is the world through the eyes of two people who aren't neurotypical, and it is amazing. I recommended this to my mom after just a few pages, to one of my friends half way through when he told me his ex's brother is on the spectrum.

I feel like I learned so much, and threw out unconscious assumptions that I'd had.

I love Emmet and Jeremy's love and compromises and growth. There are hard moments, and there are joyous moments, and there is always pushing show more onward and learning for tomorrow. I can't wait to see where this series will go.

And that title! And everything in here. Every moment is poignant and full of universal truths, and just wow again. Heidi Cullinan is incredible. I already knew that, but then I read this. What she's written here just goes beyond any limited scope.

I actually literally jolted up in my bed when I swiped to the next page and it was over. My brain didn't accept it for a second.

This makes me want to cherish life and change the world; and books that make you feel that much are the best. show less

I need more stars than five for this story.

I don't have autism (though my son's on the spectrum as high-functioning) and my social trials are minimal compared to Jeremey's. But I do have an invisible disability. I was born with albinism, a congenital disorder that means I'm minus melanin. Melanin gives us brown eyes, any skin color, and (among other things) it enables embryonic eyes to finish developing. People with albinism are born with "baby eyes." I know about lifelong disability, show more particularly the invisible kind. White hair doesn't tell people I can't see.

To say I empathized strongly with this story is a wild understatement. In addition to Cullinan's careful and unflinching portrayals of special needs people, I loved how complicated it is for Emmet and Jeremey to get to the life together they need. I love that we get to see each guy's inner workings as they figure things out (or fail to). I appreciated the ablest behavior shown from their perspectives, how they vary in responses and that even trained people screw up sometimes.

This is a great story, one of the most unusual love stories I've read. Very highly recommended. show less

Reread with the perfect soundtrack: Coltrane's "In a Sentimental Mood" on repeat.

First, a shoutout to this cover-->probably my favorite one with the MCs on it; I had no trouble believing that is Vinnie and Trey and kept their images firmly in mind.

Now the story itself...

The romance is so real in this one. I adore the courting and wary slide into love.

I love how genuine their relationship is. It's confusing and new and different for them both, but they were sweet, determined, natural, and show more heart-warming. It's also filled with mutual respect.

The slow-burn build up--perfection.

Vinnie's family--I have a huge weakness for big, loving, supportive families (especially Italians, like my father's side), so his was balm to my soul.

So much more, but honestly, just go smile your way through this gem and experience it yourself :)

Five stars again big time! show less

Possible Triggers: Autism/Depression/Disabilities
If you are looking for the usual type of M/M romance, then this one may disappoint you. However, if you are willing to take a remarkably tender, sweet story that shows how love can and sometimes does, come into everyone's life, not just those that are viewed as “normal”, then this story is going to affect you deeply. The author displayed such a sophisticated portrayal of one of the characters, Emmet....when she has him say "when you meet show more one autistic child, you have really only met... just one". There is no "one size fits all"...each one is different, each one coping in their own way, and presenting with their own quirks and gifts. This story is about how Emmet, a high functioning autistic college student, pursues and meets his neighbor. It's a overwhelmingly beautiful story of love and the fight for independence. Emmett has so many strategies he has developed and learned to use over the years, everything from different shirts to show his different moods, to a foam hammer that allows him to safely vent his anger. His parents are wonderful, well educated, understanding and loving. Jeremy is not so lucky, and your heart will break for him. He is almost crippled under the weight of all his anxieties, and fears, as well as his clinical depression. Jeremey’s parents are unbelievably brutal. They constantly harp at him to just "buck up and be normal”. That is the crux of what author Heidi Cullinan writes about in this story. Not only does she portray the pain and the horrible sense of unworthiness these two young men carry with them each and every day of their lives, but she also speaks about the fact that for them there simply is not and never will be a “normal”. She continually comes back to the idea that each one of us is already normal in our own way...despite that we are all different. We each have our individual strengths and weaknesses, our own emotional and intellectual struggles... “normal” looks different on each and every person. The story does not try to tell the world that “special needs” people are "just like you and me", instead she celebrates their individuality by giving us a window to look into their lives. We see Jeremey’s crippling anxieties; we feel Emmet’s frustration over not being able to express himself when he needs to the most. We feel the fears of these two young men who want and need each other...who are discovering what romance and love is with another person for the first time. This novel is stunning in its realism. We fall in love with Jeremy and Emmett because of how they fight each day to hold onto themselves, find their place in a world that doesn’t necessarily value those who are different and don’t fit into the norm. [Carry the Ocean[ is a story that reminds us that each and every one of us deserves to love and be loved. show less