E L James

I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to read this again... I guess ultimately it's so I can review it thoroughly this time!

So this is not fifty shades of grey...it's one shade of fucked up!

OMG, I was bored out of my mind with Ana, she's so annoying, whiny and so over the top plain Jane. Christian on the other hand, is too possessive, intense and over the top dark knight. Together, both of them are so one dimensional and boring. One minute they are all business like (so formal and show more what not) and the next minute they are hot for each other.

Their emails... too many emails, all of which are not witty or entertaining, just plain boring and full of none sense. The interaction between these two are either cringe worthy or way too intense (the sex scenes are meh). Especially that infamous tampon scene, I think enough people have talked about it, so I'll leave it at that. But I have to say, it wasn't all that great and super pointless in the book.

Ana's inner goddess...can we totally toss her out of this book?! She is annoying, such a drag and makes me want to knock some sense into her in a really bad way. Like enough of that plain Jane act, and stop biting your lip! Quite frankly, I would love to see these two "love birds" locked far away from the literary world since what they have isn't love, it's their messed up version of romance.

Just because Christian is rich, charming and handsome does not mean he can get away with being obsessive and possessive! That is the making of a stalker! Showering gifts on Ana to convince her to be his sub, and make her his, only for things to come to a screeching halt because they want different things. Now I don't have any issue with dom/sub, I'll keep an open mind, but honestly he's flip flopping so much on it with Ana, it's like OK get this over with already!

Overall, don't know why some people are so into this book. Save yourself the trouble....DON'T read it! Atrocious writing, super flat and one dimensional characters and predictable results. show less

I, for one, am frankly amazed at the sheer amount of glowing reviews this book has gotten, most of which look and are obviously fake and show that they have not read the book at all. I mean, this book doesn't deserve these reviews, even if they're obviously fake, because wow, this book made me cringe.

We have Anastasia Steele, a girl who I wanted to choke several times due to how completely spineless and insipid she is. And then we have Christian Grey, who some readers find absolutely sexy show more and irresistible.

Really? Christian is a HUGE A-hole. He is also a stalker and rapist. When Ana tries to stand up for herself, he breaks into her apartment... and she thinks this is sexy? And some readers found this sexy as well? I weep for womankind if any members of my gender actually find Christian the least bit appealing.

Let's not forget the bad writing itself. Complete and utter dreck, and Ana's monologues with her inner goddess... ew. Before this book, I thought inner goddess was a positive and uplifting way for a woman to get in touch with her self-esteem. After this book, that phrase is forever ruined. And the lip-biting, just fffffffffffff. Reading even just one paragraph is an exercise in masochism. I can't believe this garbage made it onto any bestseller lists, and that makes me weep for the future of this country. show less

50 Shades is popular for the same reason Twilight is popular: it's a heady, thoughtless rush. And it doesn't stop. You're never left thinking "Holy crap! I wonder what Bella/Ana is thinking right now!!" because you know exactly what she's thinking and feeling and going to do -- insofar as she knows it herself.

I don't want to be all "the positive response to these books is in fact a response to our over-the-top culture, where multitasking is a permanent expectation," ... but it is. For me, show more too. It was damn good to turn off my brain for a few hours and focus almost entirely on the a fantasy of physical pleasure. Oh, to be consensually dominated! To give up control (with hard and soft limits and safewords). Some people climb into sensory-deprivation tanks; Anastasia is blindfolded and tied to a bed while arias flood into her ears and her lover runs his mouth towards her navel.

That doesn't sound so bad, is all I'm saying. show less

Welp, it’s just as bad as everyone says it is. The writing, ohmygod, the writing. It’s so awful – at both the sentence level and in a broader sense (her characters do and say things that are out of…character…clearly just because she thought it would sound cool (and, tragically, it never does)). And the audiobook narrator has a talent to match what she’s reading. Yikes (or should I say, “oh my?” Christ on a cracker, if I had to listen to the MC say that one more time I was show more going to choose violence). I got as far as I could without losing my mind, and I’m confident that I get the gist, so I’m ditching it while also counting it toward my total reads because I deserve some compensation for my suffering. It reads just as what it is: badly written fanfic. And folks, if you’re interested in fanfic of this ilk, there are much, much, MUCH better pieces out there. AO3 is just out there waiting, with all sorts of truly well-written stuff. show less