Kristin van Ogtrop

This books speaks to my life exactly. I am a working mom, trying that whole “balancing act” thing, and sometimes need a book like “Just Let Me Lie Down” to let me take a step back from the craziness and laugh for a bit.

This book, written as a lexicon, provided a great deal of laughter...balanced by a strong sense of gratitude and love. Van Ogtrop recognizes that as hard as it is sometimes to try to do it all, it also means that she is lucky enough to have it all. A wonderful family show more and a good job. Both aspects of her life help make her who she is. And along with a good sense of humor, that can make for a crazy, amazing life.

“...there is something tremendously empowering about doing it all, because it means you are making most of the decisions. Would I really want to give up that level of control? I'm not sure. And so, much of my life as a wife and mother is about vacillating between wanting to do everything myself and being really, really mad that no one is helping me.”

And, going back to the title of the book (which I love), sometimes it can just make you tired.

“My father was a fairly heavy smoker for decades until the nagging of his loved ones finally got to him, and he abruptly quit. Years later I asked him if he missed smoking. “Every single day,” he replied. And so I think about sleep in the way I imagine my father thinks about cigarettes: that is, constantly and with extreme longing. Every single day.”

If you are a working mother, or were, or had a working mother, much of this book is going to ring very true for you. I wouldn't suggest reading it in a place where you might be embarrassed by suddenly laughing out loud.

A term - “Midconversation Screen Saver”: “The thing that unexpectedly happens when your husband is talking and suddenly you start thinking about whether you should take that chicken out of the freezer to defrost and if you should wear your black pants to work tomorrow because it's only Monday and you might be able to get away with wearing them twice in one week without anyone noticing if you put enough days in between. Your husband thinks you are still listening but you have gone on screen saver.”

As the oldest child of three, growing up with a working mom, I read Erma Bombeck's books as a kid. There's the same sort of “my family makes me nuts sometimes but I love them fiercely and unconditionally” feel to this book. The author takes a step back every once in a while to look with awe at her life and the most important people in it – her family.

I also appreciated the fact that she recognizes that while aspects of her book apply to many working mothers, she counts herself as very lucky “I do not presume to speak for all working mothers. In my life, hard work (and luck) has reaped real rewards, and not everyone is so fortunate.” But I would be surprised if anyone can't relate to at least a few of the terms in this book.

“...as part of your daily life, stress most often takes the shape of “Why am I running around like a maniac while everyone else watches ESPN?” And that is a Stress Fracture. The key stress fracture in my life happens every morning from 7:15 to 8:40, when the three individuals who have the hardest time getting out the door are moving at radically different speeds: I am a Ferrari, my middle son is a unicycle,and my husband is a hearse.”

And: “To-do Haiku: The list of tasks or semi-important things to remember that replays like a song stuck in your head until you finally find a pen and write it down. For example:”

Pick up dry cleaning
Where are my black boots? At work?
Did we pay that bill?

I very much enjoyed reading this book and think that many other women would as well. In the craziness of life, if you aren't able sometimes to just lie down, try picking this up. Just don't try to read it at the same time you're doing laundry/making dinner/helping with homework/checking a work email. show less

As I spent time in airports and on planes, I was able to read uninterrupted. First up was Kristin van Ogtrop's memoir Did I Say That Out Loud-Midlife Indignities and How to Survive Them. Ogtrop, was the former editor of Real Simple magazine, and her essays on such things as her climb up the corporate ladder from joy to agony as magazines folded up publication, to the time she nearly died from accidentally swallowing a plastic fork tine, to the vacation home her family bought with her show more sister's family will have you laughing and crying. It makes a good pairing with Sara Arnell's midlife crisis book from a few weeks ago, There Will Be Lobster. While I've been reading books about midlife crisis, I don't think I'm in one. (right?) show less

My reactions to this book are mixed. I picked it up wanting some humor and there are some stories that I did find humorous. Others I felt she tried too hard, or just wasn't interested. Surprisingly, while I wanted humor the stories I liked the most, where I felt she was writing from real emotion, weren't humorous.

Rebel Love, on the loss of a pet, was bittersweet, honest and insightful. I fell in love with Rebel, the unruly let with a big heart. Her thoughts on her mother, her parents aging, show more were great. I could definitely relate. Her letter to her son on his graduation, also funny, sad.

Enjoyed her lists, things that irritated her, found have been my list, with a few substitutions. Probably could be the list of many. There are other lists to which I could relate. Definitely worth reading but as I said my view was mixed but that's not to say you would feel the same.

ARC from Edelweiss. show less

Hachette Book Group recently provided me with a copy of Just Let Me Lie Down: Necessary Terms for the Half-Insane Working Mom by Kristin van Ogtrop for review.

This book is organized like an encyclopedia of terms with definitions and descriptions. Van Ogtrop uses corporate terminology along with some everyday phrases but re-defines them to fit her needs. I found this hysterical, particularly when referring to such things as "separation anxiety" (worrying about if your job will still be there show more on Monday if you take a long weekend and don't check your email).

At first, I wasn't sure about what to think about this book. After all, I'm a SAHM and have seen some pretty nasty arguments between WOOHM (working out of home moms - yes I think I just coined that) and SAHM over who has it rougher and/or better. I didn't want to get into that argument by reading this book. Gladly, I didn't. Van Ogtrop does an excellent job of talking about why she works outside the home. At one point, she also asks why both kinds of moms seem to hate each other. I wonder that too. We make our choices and others make theirs - let's deal with it and just get along.

I feel I have much better insight into the live of a WOOHM. No, it's not the life for me, but it's the life for many women in this country, some by choice and some by necessity. I don't envy the running around, schedule conflicts and other snafus that occur but I do admire van Ogtrop's excellence in her field of editing Real Simple Magazine. I have never had a career that I felt was worth that much time and dedication.

I don't feel that this book is specifically for working moms. I think all moms (and dads too!) could benefit from reading this book. It's light-hearted with a few serious moments but basically just fun to read. I think my favorite entry was about how the dog contributes to housekeeping. show less