Julian More (1928–2010)

A strip number where four young women clad in the skimpiest kilts you're ever likely to see, performing a burlesque take of "Loch Lomond" is the main highlight in this disappointingly boring and overly stretched film. It tells the tale of sleazy agent Johnny Jackson (Laurence Harvey) who discovers teenage singing sensation Bert Rudge (Cliff Richard), renaming him "Bongo Herbert" (surely the worst stage name in history). The film presents an interesting time capsule for late-50s Soho and is show more peopled with some great characters, has plenty of nice period detail and looks great throughout thanks to director Val Guest. Unfortunately the film is far too long for a such a meagre story and way too much of the run time comes across as padding. Laurence Harvey gives an annoyingly hyper and stylised performance in the lead role, his accent wandering all over the place from Cockney wide by to cod-Yiddish via a South African affectation. Cliff Richard in his first role strangely lacks any form of charisma with Yolande Donlan, as aging stage star Dixie Collins, making an odd romantic foil for him. It is left to a young Sylvia Syms, as Maisie, a stripper and Johnny Jackson's neglected girlfriend to give any acting depth or inspiration. She also looks pretty fantastic in a basque, stockings and suspenders combo introducing the Scottish strippers and a rather unusual take on Mary Queen of Scots. show less

Even as Tuscan travelogue porn, this is piffle.