Arthur Mitchell (7)

I think the story line here has potential, but I don't think the author's writing helped to make it as great of a story as it could have been. I know that comes out harshly, but I'm writing this as an honest review like I always do.

The dialogue in the book was very forced, in my opinion. I can't picture two good friends, or anyone for that matter, sitting down to have as stilted and unnatural as the ones in this book.

Aside from the dialogue, I think most of the story brushes over what's show more really going on. When dealing with the issues that are brought up in this story, there is a need for more depth. Because of the glossing over, I as the reader couldn't sympathize with Rachel or John. I saw where there was a place to sympathize, but the actual writing didn't allow for it.

There is also the need of some editing. There were many errors throughout this short story that I feel hindered my chance of finding a flow in reading it.

Bottom line, there was a great idea behind this story. I just don't think it was executed well. show less