Toni Weschler

Before trying to get pregnant, it seemed appropriate to learn more about how female fertility works. For that, I chose this book.

The first, and perhaps most important, thing to know about this book is that it is a book every woman should read. Whether you want to get pregnant or avoid pregnancy, whether you're taking birth control pills or attempting more manual methods of contraception, if you're a woman who cares about how her body actually works, you should read this book. (Note: I use show more "you" and "your" throughout this review because it's more conversational. I acknowledge that this may a bit awkward for any men reading this. Consider it an exercise in what it's like being in a situation whose "you" is not, in fact, you.)

It amazed me, when I started reading this book, how little I knew about my own fertility. While I think that birth control pills were the right contraceptive option for me during the years I wanted to avoid pregnancy — my ovulation cycle has always been much too irregular to depend on my physical signals — I am, in retrospect, sad that I spent a over a decade taking a drug without understanding the system it was regulating. Now that I am trying to become pregnant and having a hard time, I regret accepting the explanation from my doctor that the pill would "fix" my extremely irregular cycles. Yes, it suppressed the symptoms, but now that I actually want to get pregnant, I still have the same issues and no more knowledge of them than I did as a teen. (By the way, Weschler also wrote a book targeted at teens, which I haven't read.)

Now to the book itself. This book is centered around the Fertility Awareness Method. This can be seen as a natural birth control method or a technique for helping achieve pregnancy. I see it as a way to understand how your own body works. Part one discusses these different perspectives and encourages women to take charge of their own fertility. Part two contains background on a women's reproductive anatomy, menstrual cycle, primary fertility signs, and various types of irregular cycles. Parts three and four apply knowledge of the primary fertility signals to, respectively, birth control and pregnancy achievement. Part five discusses other practical benefits of charting your cycle, even if you don't care about the other two.

As a final note, if avoiding pregnancy is absolutely vital for you, I cannot recommend the Fertility Awareness Method as a standalone method of birth control. Even if you're extremely regular normally, stress, sickness, alcohol, and other life factors can make your signals less reliable. But I still recommend reading the book. show less

I first became aware of the information contained in this book way back in 1999 or so, though it was through a website or web forum. I used this information as my birth control for about 5 years. Using this knowledge, both times that I had unprotected sex while during my fertile period I got pregnant and outside of those two times, I did not get pregnant. I wasn't intentionally trying to get pregnant, but I also wasn't trying very hard to not conceive. This knowledge is useful for both show more avoiding pregnancy and increasing fertility and I highly recommend it in an era where there is the possibility that women will lose access to other forms of contraception, plus there is growing knowledge of the side effects of hormonal birth control.

Every single woman should own this book, in my opinion. Even if you, as a woman or vagina/uterus-owner, aren't sexually active with men, you need this book to understand more than the vast majority of ob/gyns about the menstrual cycle and how your reproductive parts work. It also has some information on the science and psychology of female sexual pleasure, though it is more of an overview.

The author of this book also has published a book with the menstrual cyle information & puberty geared toward teenagers, though I haven't read it. If you read my review & are searching for a book chiefly about the menstrual cycle & charting it & understanding it for teenagers, or this very, very fat book is just too many pages, you should go check that book out. show less

This book is a good explanation of how the menstrual cycle works and how individuals can understand their own through cervical mucus, body temperature, and other signs. The writing and explanations are clear and understandable, and the sample charts and review quizzes are useful. Directed to teen girls 14 to 18, it does come off a little condescending — at the very least, trying too hard to be witty and accessible. Less easy to forgive are some messages the author slips in in the chapter show more on sex. I was disturbed by the victim-blaming in Weschler's advice to girls to try to "prevent" their own date rapes. Need I point out that no one ever wants or chooses to be raped, and that the one responsible for rape is the rapist? Furthermore, the take-home message in the chapter on sex is that a girl's "first time" is a crucial and life-changing moment that must be done with the right person or it will cause regrets forever, and the discussion of sexually transmitted infections regurgitates the stereotype that STIs are caused by, and serve as the punishment for, promiscuity (or, as Weschler would put it, women who don't "respect" themselves). It's unfortunate and disappointing that Weschler's book, particularly one for teens, contains such blatantly sexist and shaming messages, especially as Weschler does a great job encouraging women to love their bodies and feel empowered by them. Overall, it's a useful resource for learning about menstrual cycles and cycle-charting, but the other sections are best avoided. show less

so ... okay. i mean. sure? maybe? but this information seems far far FAR more useful for trying-to folks, than it does for trying-not-to folks. the idea that you (you, specifically) could successfully avoid pregnancy by charting your temperature and stretching out your mucus is ... optimistic, at best. and a hell of a lot of work to do for your entire fertile years, with an awful lot of risk if your body decides to shake things up.

she also claims that it's not at all ABSOLUTELY NOT the show more fabled Rhythm Method, which, again, is a hair split so fine that it might as well be a lie.

tl; dr -- sure, okay, but use a condom too, alright? show less