Jay Hogan

Gil is grieving after an accident that took the life of his 10-year-old daughter and has devastated his own life. It also had been the final straw to end his and his husband's 10- year marriage. Depression has driven him to seek out a drastic change of pace. A temporary position out in Mackenzie Country offers him the chance to get away from the reminders of life and love lost, but the farm presents an interesting conundrum in the form of the man who runs the operation. Holden...who is show more young, handsome and blustery. He sparks something in Gil that he hasn’t felt in many long months, attraction. These are never essay subjects to read about and I doubt they are any easier for an author to put on paper, but this book gives the heavy subject matter the breathing room and reverence it needs and deserves. Everyone’s journey through grief is going to look and be different... Gil is psychologically literate enough to know this, and yet his apparent lack of progress over the course of eighteen months still silently angers and frustrates him. Now he's faced with something he wasn't expecting...his attraction to Holden and Holden's attraction to him. Holden isa man who’s never been interested in anything but casual fun. Gil has to decide if the potential pain once his job comes to its end is worth exploring his newfound ability to feel something other than grief again. This story just felt good, right, appropriate and sincerely heartfelt. It was very much worth the time to listen and the beautiful audio rendition by Gary Furlong was an added bonus. show less

POSSIBLE TRIGGERS: Crohn's Disease/Loss of a Baby
DRAKE PARK: He has a complicated life. As a gay male midwife, he's used to "raising eyebrows". Add Crohn's disease to the mix, and things get interesting-or not, considering the sad state of his love life. Experience has taught Drake that most men are "fair-weather" sailors when it comes to handling his condition and gone like dust when things get rough. Staying healthy is a full-time job without adding in any heartbreak, so a little show more loneliness is a very small price to pay. If he says it often enough, he might even start to believe it. One thing for sure, the cop who arrested him isn't about to change that.
CALEB ASHTON: He doesn't have a complicated life. He's a senior detective with the Whangarei Police Department; he likes his job and he is good at it. He works hard and he plays hard. He's happy to enjoy as many men as he can while he's still young enough; or at least he was. These days he feels adrift for the first time in his life, and the only thing sparking his interest is a certain prickly young midwife. But can Drake find enough faith to risk opening his heart again? And does Caleb have what it takes to cope with the challenges Drake's condition presents?

First of all, I have to give this author, Jay Hogan, the highest praise for how honest she was with the readers about the chronic debilitating effects that some people suffer from Crohn's Disease. She didn't "sugar coat" it or keep it, or the young man that suffered from it, behind "closed doors". This by itself gave this entire book and its two main characters so much more credibility. I know they are fictional characters, but when a book is this well written those fictional characters can and will, soon become very real and vivid to the reader.

Drake was an incredible character. His Crohn's made him uncontrollably vulnerable; his personality was beautiful and, for lack of a better word...pure. The book is highly emotional throughout and there could/may/will be potential triggers due to the impact the disease has on Drake, and his relationship with Calab, and there are also pregnancy complications, and the dangers associated with Caleb's job as a police detective. These all bring some angst to the story. Anyone that has ever lost a baby may want to approach this part carefully or skip it entirely.

The characters are wonderful, even the secondary ones. They all add a lot to the story. We get to move along with Drake and Caleb's relationship. I loved the ending, although this was one that I wished could have gone on and on. But "all good things must come to an end". This ending, was "swoon-worthy", beautifully done, and a "happy ever after." I know that this story is going to stay with me for a long time, as it had a massive impact. It is without any question, a 5-star read. And again, I can't say it enough, please, pay attention to the trigger warning. show less

I never dreamed I'd get a second chance at love. I scarcely believed in it the first time. Then Mads appeared from nowhere during one of the hardest times of my life, and everything I thought I knew about myself, about what I deserved, about who I wanted to become, was turned upside down. Falling for Mads was the easy part. Learning to trust him took longer. Having faith in myself is a battle I'm still fighting, but finding the courage to confront and make peace with my past is the only way show more forward. Mads sees me. The real me. Even the parts I've spent a lifetime pretending didn't matter. The broken pieces of my childhood are coming back to haunt me. Another mystery. More personal this time, but no less deadly. They say it's never too late to change and I'm determined to try. I want a future with Mads at my side, and not getting myself killed beforehand would be an excellent start.
If you have a burning fondness for bittersweet romance suspense novels, you will love these three books that make up this trilogy...and I hope, hope, hope, fingers, toes, and eyes crossed, that there is the possibility of there being even more.

Don't expect an instant "happy ever after"...it seems that nothing has ever been easy for Nick and Mads. After the first two books, I was okay with "Happy for Right Now". I probably should have expected this story to be just as complicated, with just as much suspense, as the first two, but I admit to being somewhat surprised...(pleasantly), at how much, was included in this story. That is NOT a complaint or a criticism... I have absolutely loved it all.... every single word! After everything was worked out, I was very happy to see that Nick was finally able to settle things with his mother...yes...the same mother that abandoned him. She was not a particularly a likeable character, but when you knew her whole story, it became clearer, and made you really feel for what she had been through in life. It gave Nick closure that he desperately needed and he was happier and could move on with making a life with Mads.

Their relationship was so very well written. It, over the course of the story, became very real and at times extremely raw. Our Nick has an extremely traumatic past and it seemed as if it was bound and determined to come back and cause as much havoc and pain as possible before finally turning into healing and recovery for everyone concerned.

"The bad guys" were determined to do things without feeling a single touch of remorse. They happily threw Nick and Madigan into another "twisted and tangled" situation seemingly without much hope. I kept the pages turning. almost with a felling of desperation to find what would/could possibly happen next. It's the perfect combination of action and drama, sweet and spice, with a strong and growing relationship for our two wonderful, mature men who totally love each other unconditionally. I highly recommend this trilogy which has become one of my "go-to, reread" favorites by this absolutely amazing author. show less

The nightmare is over. Or so I keep telling myself. Bruised and battered, we'd narrowly escaped with our lives. I should be grateful. Grateful that my captors are in custody. Grateful that the chilling, roller-coaster of events actually brought Nick and me closer. Grateful that we've finally taken a step toward something more than friendship. And I am, grateful. But life isn't simple. Relationships need work. And peace of mind is elusive in the face of unbearable guilt. Because I'm the one show more who unraveled the puzzle. The one responsible for sending a young man back to a life he thought he'd escaped forever. Until I know he's safe; until I've done everything I can to fix what happened, there will be no pretending I've done my bit. No leaving it up to the authorities. I can't forget and move on. Not in my job. Not in my life. And certainly not in my fledgling romance with Nick Fisher who stormed into my heart with a truckload of his own issues. The fate of a young man isn't the only thing at stake. The quest for truth will push us to our limits. And the biggest question of all-do Nick and I have what it takes to survive the answers.
I know there is a Book #3...I have it in my "hot little hands". Oh, how I hope that there is a book #4 already dwelling or at least beginning to take root somewhere in Jay Hogan's brain!! This one and the book before it, is nothing short of marvelous, sexy and so entirely worthy of every reading second, I devoted to it. Jay Hogan has a special talent for coming up with just the most brilliant ideas for any book that he moves from his brain to paper. I believe that I own and have read them all...a couple of times. He always has great characters, there’s usually a mystery or at least some type of intrigue, and there’s enough sexy spicey moments to keep things...shall we say... "interesting".

Read the first book, The Meaning of You, before this one. You will understand the emotions so much better. In the first book we met Nick Fisher as he was mourning the death of his husband. Madigan Church is the sweetheart that came tumbling into his life entangling the two of them in ways that they never expected or saw coming. As book one came to a close, they were attempting to see a way that they could be together...and believe me we readers wanted to help them BE together.

This one, the second book in their story picks up not too long after those in book one ended. Things seem to have taken a quick turn and Nick and "Mads" as Nick calls Madigan, find themselves to still be a little lost, a little heart-broken and very much, confused. I'm not too surprised since I know that Jay Hogan always writes realistic relationships. He gives us a look at the good, the bad and the mediocre. There are arguments that hit the reader in all the senses because they feel so very authentic. We know that Nick is still grieving but his heart tries to move him forward to try to build something meaningful with Mads. This was incredibly touching. The theme in this one is 110% not only about grief but also about opening up the heart and mind to new relationships. Nick loved his husband…and love doesn’t just go away when someone dies. Nick is trying to see if he can move forward with a new relationship with a man who is in so many ways, so very different than his husband. I felt that Nick was trying to get it through to his head and to heart how it was possible to earth- shatteringly miss someone yet still want and find a way to go on with a different life...with a totally, completely in so many ways, different someone else.

There is some guilt in this series. Questions arise such as, "should you feel guilty if you fall in love after your partner has died? Should you feel guilty if you feel responsible for a crime having been committed? Should you feel guilty if you want more from someone that they are ready to give you and you have to make a difficult decision? It's all in this story and it will be no surprise if you have ever read any of Jay Hogan’s books.

Madigan hadn't had the same experiences with life, love and relationships that Nick had had. He was more relaxed about life in general and found that he was struggling trying to become "comfortable" with the feelings that he was starting to have. He wanted to create a place in his life for Nick, but it was difficult for him. It appeared that it was going to take setting boundaries and being able to stick to them. Sometimes, sticking to those boundaries was heart breaking.

I really liked this quote from the book by Madigan. “I was reminded that many things said in the warm flush of attraction don’t survive the cool thrust of reality.” Nick and Madigan are very different men, but on some level...they just worked.

From book#1 we know that there had been a crime of some type...that it was the reason that Nick's husband is dead. The mystery and the ongoing crime investigation seemed to have been placed on the "back burner" in the first book. Not much investigation happened, so I was glad to see more about it in book 2. We learned more about each of the men involved, including the wonderful, lovely supporting character of Gazza. Gazza has a different reason for wanting to bring certain men to justice. The reasons are varied, deep and emotional. Jay Hogan does a fantastic job of making it believable that these characters would care enough to continue to put their own lives at risk.

Overall...bet you thought I would never get here:)... both books are exciting, engaging and just plain fun. Even in the most difficult moments, there is often humor and I thoroughly enjoyed it all. I do hope that Jay Hogan will continue in this series and not stop at just two books. show less