Necessary Endings

While the audio has a few great ideas, overall it felt drawn out. I liked his emphasis on embracing endings as part of life and his analogy of endings to pruning a bush. A bush produces more buds than it can sustain so by removing ones that are not the best puts more energy into the ones that are. Removing dead ones is easy; the challenge is recognizing which ones are going to be the best and feeling OK about removing ones that are average. Unfortunately, once you get past the ideas the examples and advice were weak. I am on the fence about recommending it; however it is worth reading because it does explore endings and makes one think.

I read for many reasons: curiosity, enjoyment, help. A friend recommended this title after we talked about a baffling sense of unease I was experiencing in a relationship. Requesting the book from the library meant waiting for a bit. By the time it arrived, I'd been taken down at the knees. Reading it helped me metabolize what I was experiencing and gave me insight into what a healthy ending would involve.

Cloud engages readers with his wealth of experience and training through relatable stories (case studies) and accessible wisdom. As the title claims, readers will find perspective and helpful language to move through necessary endings. Especially helpful to me were the chapters Pruning (chapter 2) and Sustainability (chapter 13). I show more will keep the definitions and explanations from these chapters top of mind as I assess current and future relationships, projects, work, ideas & dreams.

Here are a few passages that made it into my journal:
"When the truth presents itself, the wise person sees the light, takes it in, makes adjustments." 127

"The fool tries to adjust the truth so that he does not have to adjust to it." 133

"...someone engaged in the foolishness of defending against seeing the truth is...in a stance that is designed not to see the truth or grasp it or in any way adjust to it." 134

"We get comfortable with our misery, as we find ways to medicate ourselves, delude ourselves, disassociate our feelings, or get enough distance from the problem that it does not touch us directly." 151

"Your sense of concern for the person must be integrated with the truth of what you need to say." 204

"When people do not feel their feelings, positive and negative, about something significant that has ended, they will remain tethered to it in some way." 213

"The danger when people do not face their grief is twofold. First, to keep from facing it, they sometimes continue...hanging on to false hope or staying angry at what is past. They get stuck protesting reality. Second, denying the grief often leads people to do strange things on the rebound, which are really attempts to keep from feeling the grief involved in letting go." 213 (Italics added.) show less

Some helpful ideas about evaluating life or circumstances or people. Comes across rather arrogantly. Recommended by Cindy Savage. Donated.

Necessary endings are just that, necessary. For there to be anything new, old things always have to end, and we have to let go of them. I was given this recommendation years ago when I needed to make a tough transition. I now read it any time there is a change that needs to happen whether good or bad. To move forward, something always has to end.

When parts of our lives end, we often feel sadness, remorse, or approach the ending with a sense of foreboding or hesitation. Necessary Endings shows us a different way to look at endings in our lives. They are, not only necessary, but a step to something better and until we let go, we don't let ourselves be open to future possibilities. Great personal growth book.

Book that was recommended to me and that I resisted reading. However, I found it to be very helpful and clarifying.

The book talks about why and how to end things/relationships and move on. It's a mish-mesh of psychology, mindset, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence and motivation. You'll learn:
• The 3 types of necessary endings;
• How to diagnose if someone deserves more of your time/effort or if an ending is necessary; and
• How to navigate endings: adapt to life's seasons and cycles, become aware of the mental maps that are holding you back, embrace reality and the need for change, make and sustain changes, and master the skills/strategies to execute endings effectively.

Book summary at: https://readingraphics.com/book-summary-necessary-endings/