Guilty Wives

Cigarettes, soap operas, champagne, potato crisps and James Patterson: none of them benefits you in any way but all are compulsively addictive and, as any addict knows, avoid them altogether because once you start, it’s very difficult to stop.



I’ve just enjoyed [if that’s the right word] a ‘lost weekend’ of my own recently: I managed to stay away from the cigs, champers and crisps, but made up for it by consuming three James Pattersons one after the other, chain-smoking them as it were, over two days.

The prolific Mr. P has already brought out six of a projected twelve books this year but three was my limit. Until next time… The good thing about products from Patterson and Co. [he uses a team of ‘with’ writers] is that show more you know what to expect: the books are machine-written to a strict formula which includes entirely predictable twists but bars any real surprises.

Guilty Wive is a stand-alone book which is unusual in the Patterson canon: lest the reader dismiss Patterson for writing only Dick-fic, he does sneak in the occasional nod to chick-fic, as in this book where the protagonist is a woman, Abbie Elliot, who together with her three best friends goes for a weekend break in Monte Carlo. The ‘ladies’ are middle aged, gorgeous, affluent and unhappily married so its no surprise when the action moves to a private yacht and things get a tad steamy – don't worry, nothing x-rated enough to cause a girl to blush.

They are woken in the morning by French militia who haul them to shore in a state of sexy dishabille: two of the previous night’s party playmates were murdered and, even worse, the dead men were actually the President of France [whom no-one recognized in his toupee] and a bodyguard!

Abbie and her gang are labeled terrorists and slapped into a women’s prison: corrupt warders, girl-on-girl action and lesbian rape beckons, and prison uniform is no substitute for sexy designer clothes. Really, Abbie had no option but to escape and prove who the real killer is. That he’s a homicidal maniac is undoubted – Patterson doesn’t write them any other way.

Oh, and one of her posse is a beautiful black South African, married to an ugly short but very rich Afrikaner who beats her, is obsessively jealous and has a penchant for calling other men ‘my brar’. Oh my, could he possibly have had anything to do with the murders?

Paragraph-long chapters, as many twists as a Free State road, cardboard characters and indifferent writing laden with clichés are hallmarks of the Patterson style – but I’m not slating it. He has had over 80 books published in the last ten years and while his literary talents might not rank much above those of, say, Barbara Cartland, the man is a gifted story teller with a positive genius for getting you to turn the next page. I read three in one sitting so I know. show less

After finishing this book, I've decided to stop cheating on my husband with movie stars in Monaco. The risk just doesn't seem worth it anymore

Guilty Wives isn't a good book by any stretch of the imagination. It reminds me of most episodes of Law and Order; by the 50-page mark (or in the show's case the 10-minute mark) you know who did it and why, and you're just waiting to see how the detectives figure it out and get the bad guys to confess. Also, unless over-the-top repetition of information is a Patterson trademark (I'm no expert), it is fairly evident that the co-authors of this book either wrote separate chapters and threw them together without much review or just couldn't be bothered to clean the book up. Plus, the plot was so show more far-fetched it was jarring, and the fact that Patterson felt we the readers needed a detailed explanation of how roulette works was kind of silly. Give us a little credit, Jimmy. Anyone who's blown any money on your stuff has probably gambled plenty of it away too.

It also isn't the worst book. It's a quick and easy read for those who aren't gifted with enough free time to take a swing at a War and Peace or a Ulysses. And to be fair, as implausible as Abbie Elliot's story is, it has its enjoyable moments. There's a character in the prison chapters of the book named Lexie who could potentially have been a fun lady to explore if anyone involved with this book had decided not to mail it in, but we know who we're dealing with here.

Really, Guilty Wives isn't pretending to be anything other than what it is, a run-of-the-mill thriller partially written by a guy who doesn't care all that much anymore but knows the formula to churning out best-sellers.

Does that make James Patterson the Adam Sandler of authors? I would hope not for the sake of David Ellis, who in this case would probably be Patterson's Rob Schneider. show less

This book gives revenge a whole new meaning. When four wives take off to Paris for a four-day vacation, they're out for a good time, not jail time. However, what happens is beyond anything they might have imagined. I can't say more without spoilers, but what I thought would be a book about cheating spouses turned into a high-octane thriller. Most of the plot is unreal, but it made for an entertaining murder mystery.

I swore off James Patterson quite some time ago, but I love David Ellis, so I was torn when the two collaborated efforts. (Why would you do that Ellis??) But I finally broke down and read the two books the pair did (or as I see it Ellis wrote and Patterson puts his name too). The other, Mistress, I was not very impressed with but Guilty Wives was a page-turner for sure. It wasn't that you didn't know who did it, that was made pretty obvious from the get go. But the emotional train wreck of Abbie's time in prison, and her inner strength made her a character you had no choice but to root for. Hopefully these are the only two books Ellis stoops to Patterson's level with and he can get back to being a fantastic author in his own right, but show more should there be another I won't hesitate so long to pick it up. show less

Guilty Wives starts off so abruptly it has you wondering if you missed the first few pages or prologue, then it reverses back in time and begins, catching up to the start which it goes over again, then moves into the events afterwards.

After the aforementioned perplexing start, it's pretty good, provided you aren't expecting a logical precise novel with plot holes you can't drive a semi trailer through. For example, the lead investigator is so utterly convinced of the guilt of the women he listens to none of the protests and gets physically and mentally abusive, and yet later in the book it takes only reading the desperate subpeanos of one of the said convicted and jailed woman to totally convince him of their innocence.

This, and a few show more other circumstances that stretch the realms of believability but such realism isn't what one usually is expecting in a Patterson novel. So, this aside it is an entertaining novel, the narrative is tight and compelling with characters you can both rally for and despise. show less

I'm a huge James Patterson fan and to me, his books have become a little stale. A little of the same thing over and over. But this was a refreshing change. It kind of reminded me of the American girl that was wrongfully accused in Italy. The brutality in the prison is horrible and you know that happens in some prisons. But the quickness at the end of finding out how did it was too quick. I still kind of feel like there was a clear picture of why. But still an enjoyable read. Makes you want to be VERY careful what you do in a foreign country so you don't go to prison!

I'm a huge James Patterson fan and to me, his books have become a little stale. A little of the same thing over and over. But this was a refreshing change. It kind of reminded me of the American girl that was wrongfully accused in Italy. The brutality in the prison is horrible and you know that happens in some prisons. But the quickness at the end of finding out how did it was too quick. I still kind of feel like there was a clear picture of why. But still an enjoyable read. Makes you want to be VERY careful what you do in a foreign country so you don't go to prison!