If I Tell

If I Tell is a beautifully written novel about the weight of ones secrets and the longing to be accepted for who we are. Raw emotion and believable characters made this book an absolute joy to read.

When Jasmine witnesses her mom's boyfriend Simon, making out with her best friend Lacey, her entire world begins to fall apart. Since she's never had a lot of friends and isn't very close with he mom, the secret starts to eat away at her fracturing the few good relationships she has.

Jasmine is a prickly character and I really don't know of another way to describe her. She's been so ostracized by her small town community that she willingly keeps people at as distant, even the few friends she has. Her one saving grace is her music which she show more turns to to help her deal. Even though I couldn't relate to Jasmine's biracial identity issues its not hard to care for someone who just wants to belong.

The connection between Jasmine and Jackson is instant and very sweet. Jackson is someone with his own secret who's also trying to find out where he fits in. Its always nice to read a story where the guy goes out of his way to try and make the girl feel better about herself and that's exactly the kind of guy Jackson is. It also doesn't hurt that he's snarky, mysterious and a really good listener.

The novel is filled with a slew of supporting character who are all just as deep and complicated as our main character. Simon and Lacey, in particular are much more then they seem and have much more to do then just service as the catalysts of the story. The novel's tone is really wonderful, never becoming to dramatic or fake. The ending, although not perfect, still feels just right especially for a novel that feels so real.

I would definitely recommend If I Tell to any YA contemporary fan and I look forward to reading more from Janet Gurtler. show less

Jaz has secrets. Deep secrets that she is afraid to share with anyone else. After all, she has been let down and ostracized before. Who's to say that by letting anyone new in it won't happen again? Cue a story that is stunningly written, and heartrendingly intriguing. From page one I was involved in Jaz's life. I read long into the night, unwilling to stop until I flipped that very last page.

One of the reasons I've fallen in love with contemporary fiction is how amazing and real the characters can be. In If I Tell, Janet Gurtler shows this beautifully with each character that she builds. Jaz and the people around her are all vivid depictions of teenage life. In fact, Jaz herself is a character that I don't see very often but hope to see show more more of. Raised by her grandmother in a small, and rather racially prejudice, town Jaz has it tough. She constantly feels bullied by her peers, and doesn't feel like she really fits in anywhere. For Jaz, being biracial isn't something to be proud of. It's just another bump in her road to fitting in and leading a "normal" life.

To add it it all, her life happens to be populated with some rather interesting and unique people. There's Lacey, an older girl whose promiscuity and drinking habits hide a dark past. There's Simon, the boyfriend that Jaz isn't sure her mother should have, especially after what she witnessed. Then there is sweet Jackson. The boy who is labeled a "bad boy" by all the people around him, but who doesn't quite seem to fit the bill. Each one of these characters leads Jaz on her road to self-discovery, and helps her learn that what is on the outside is only a small part of what a person truly is.

Truth be told, this book deals with a lot of really tough themes that I think need to be addressed for teens. Janet Gurtler doesn't sugar coat anything at all, which I really admired her for. Racial prejudice, broken families, and isolation are all addressed in this book. Jaz's life isn't easy, and it's through this struggle that we get to see her grow. However things aren't all stormy. There are also themes of love, self-worth, and even understanding woven in as well. If I Tell is a delightfully balanced book from start to finish. It's the type that will have you smiling one moment, and tearing up the next.

Overall this was a quick, sweet, and amazing read. As I said I read it straight through and loved every minute of it! Jaz is a character that I really fell in love with. I hope to see more like her, and thank Janet Gurtler for letting me meet her in the first place. show less

I have fallen in love with Janet Gurtler's writing. The stories that she creates are always deeply emotional and intense with beautifully created characters. They are vulnerable and imperfect and entirely recognizable as real people. I also love that the author doesn't shy away from tough subjects. She doesn't gloss over them or smooth the edges, but presents them in an authentic way.

The issues are deep in this book. Race, prejudice, loyalty, family issues... all of these things are explored throughout this book. Our MC, Jaz, is biracial and has struggled throughout her life to feel as if she fit in. She has been raised by her grandparents and what is left of her relationship with her mother is pretty unhealthy. Her mother was just 17 show more when Jaz was born and has been rather absent since, something that has filled Jaz with no small amount of resentment. The issues just deepen when Jaz sees her mother's boyfriend Simon at a party, kissing her best friend. That best friend, Lacey, had been one of the few people she truly trusted and now that is gone, too. But even with all of the drama, Jaz also finds a new friend in Ashley and unexpected romance with Jackson.

I love the characters in this book! Each one of them has their own story, their own issues. Regardless of their role in the story, it was difficult not to feel for them. There are moments of back story and twists and turns that add levels of depths to them all, even those in supporting roles.

There are lessons to be learned in this book. Lessons of acceptance and diversity. Lessons about judgments and stereotypes. Lessons about friendship and loyalty. Lessons about forgiveness and love, all kinds of love.

Some Quotastic Goodness

--I needed to make sure I wasn’t having a horrible hallucination, but I really wished that someone had spiked my soda and that drugs were distorting my reality. Like I was witnessing a train wreck, I wanted to look away but couldn’t take my eyes off them (Loc. 73).
--Hello, hot. Jackson Morgan, the new boy at Westwind High. Supposedly he’d failed kindergarten and had just gotten out of some school for delinquent boys. For dealing drugs. But I managed to stay composed when he nodded at me (Loc. 102).
--Another check on the long list of things I didn’t inherit from her. Boobs. Nope. Blond straight hair. Nope. Coloring. Nope. I’m more a muddy mix of black and white. Mixing colors is pretty basic stuff for artists, but it’s trickier with people (Loc. 175).
--“You think because he has a black father and a white mother, the baby is bad or evil or something (Loc. 3305)?”

My Recommendation: I absolutely love Janet Gurtler's writing. They are intense and emotional and they pull me in from the moment I start reading. They are some of the best contemporary fiction I have read. I definitely recommend this book! show less

Janet Gurtler has made my list of favorite teen contemporary writers. From the beginning, she had me immersed in the story and unable to look away because I could never find a good stopping point. I just had to find out what happened next, even when I knew something bad was going to happen and I wouldn't want to know about it.

In a small town community that doesn't look kindly on Jasmine for her mixed blood, Jasmine is used to distancing herself from even the few friends that she has. The only way she knows how to cope is through her guitar--and music. Jasmine's voice is so real and strong that I could empathize with her, despite never having to deal with the conflicts that she has had: from whether or not to tell about what she saw to show more dealing with her biracial blood.

The supporting characters themselves have problems of their own. Even Jasmine's mom's boyfriend and her "best friend" serve as more than the central conflict of the story, and Jasmine will learn more about herself and those around her as the story progresses.

I was happy with the romance. I've seen too much of the hot guy that all the girls want, but Jackson is such a sweet guy. While there are dark rumors surrounding him, Jackson is also trying to make his place in the world. It also helps that he's there for Jasmine and goes out of his way for her. Just what I like to see in a guy.

Gurtler isn't afraid to tackle tough issues or sensitive topics. Her debut novel I'm Not Her is about cancer. If I Tell handles racial issues, teen pregnancy, and identity issues. Added to the very real, emotional, and perfectly imperfect characters, Gurtler is definitely an author to watch out for! I'm Not Her has been on my TBR list for too long, and I plan on correcting this problem as soon as possible! show less

Jasmine is bi-racial, born to a 17 year old mother, raised by her very loving grandparents. Jasmine’s father hasn’t had anything to do with her, except for setting up a trust fund for her on the condition she never try to contact him…NICE! This, she feels, sets her apart and she’s never made friends because it was easier to hang with her Grandfather and her guitar.

One night at a party, Jasmine sees something she wishes she hadn’t and it shakes her to the core. Once she decides to tell her Mom what she saw, her mother reveals she is pregnant. Now what is Jasmine to do?

I thought Janet did a fantastic job of tackling the feelings of being bi-racial in a primarily Caucasian environment. A lot of the things Janet wrote about were show more the same feelings many bi-racial friends have shared with me that they experienced growing up, only my friends were growing up in large urban areas with their family unit intact, unlike Jasmine.

I felt tremendous sympathy for Jasmine all the way around. I loved that Jaz spent a lot of time in self-reflection and did finally find two people who were willing to climb the wall Jas had erected to separate herself from her schoolmates. I also loved the honesty with which Jackson carried himself. I appreciated that he’d made his mistakes, done his time, and was doing everything he could to stay on the straight and narrow. I loved the potential influence he would have had on Jasmine and the growth I believe she would have experienced with him in her life.

I so enjoyed this book that I finished it in one sitting. I am adding Janet Gurtler to my list of authors I want to read more from. show less

Posted on Book Chelle.

I saw If I Tell as I was browsing NetGalley. The synopsis grabbed me and I felt that the story of Jasmine would be one that I could relate to. But what I got out of the story was much more than I had ever hoped. This is not your average book about a girl who falls in love. It’s not even about a girl who discovers she has magical powers. More than anything, this book is about truth, knowledge, and how it will set you free.

If I Tell by Janet Gurtler is about Jasmine Evans, or as she prefers, Jaz. Jaz lives in a town where diversity is not greatly appreciated. She doesn’t feel like she belongs anywhere, nurturing her behavior to be an outcast. Jaz doesn’t have many friends; she only has two, and one of them has show more betrayed her. Jaz now has to keep a secret to herself. She can’t tell anyone, especially not her estranged mother. Her world is already hanging by mere threads, and if the secret got out, even that could unravel.

Everything is against Jaz, and because of that she has a lot of frustration and hatred that has built inside of her. She doesn’t know how to properly love or trust anyone, and she doesn’t let anyone inside. No wonder she is so full of angst. I would be too if I went through what she has been through.

Her mother had Jaz at a young age, a popular blonde beauty who loved the popular football player. And even though I didn’t want to say it, race plays a big part in this story. Jaz has a white mother and a black father. She is ostracized because of it. She does not know her father because of it. And while her mother didn’t disown her, neither did she raise Jaz, her grandparents did.

Jaz was so easy to relate to. I grew up as a minority when I was young, and while I do not experience that now as much as I did back then, it still hurts. And the pain and sorry that I felt, Gurtler captured each moment with beautiful words. Jaz is strong, but so vulnerable to everything around her. But could I blame her? Definitely not. She was alone, and the only one that she felt she could turn to, had betrayed her.

I really liked this story. It was sad and emotional in all the right moments, and light and funny in others. There was a good balance of emotions felt throughout the book, so I didn’t feel like I needed to cry it out. Well, I did cry, but all for the right reasons. The pacing of the beginning was a little slow, but it quickly picked up to this quick and comfortable pace. The lessons that are weaved in the words on the pages were strong but not overpowering.

All of the supporting characters played important roles to the development of Jaz’ character and personality. I wish I had a grandma as strong as Jaz’. I’m glad that Gurtler wrote her the way she did. She is the tough love that I wish a lot of protagonists have. Jaz’ mom was someone who I didn’t particularly love, but I’m sure that is the role that she was supposed to play. Gurtler described her as a princess and I suppose she never grew out of the role. And then there is Jackson. Jackson isn’t the white knight that scoops Jaz up and whisks her away. Instead, Jackson is the peek into reality that Jaz so desperately needs. He is the voice of reason trapped inside a hot, young boy.

If I Tell talks about a lot of serious topics but is told in a very beautiful way. Keep an open mind when you read this book. Put yourself in Jaz’ shoes and imagine the town and mentality of everyone. And before you start making assumptions and judging, finish the story and then gather your thoughts. It is a great read and will give young readers something to think about. show less

If I Tell is a mesmerizing read with character that make you care and be involved with them. Even though I've never been in a situation like Jaz's I felt for her, and agonized over the right choice to make, and the implications of telling or keeping a secret.
There was so much more to this book than I expected, issues of friendship, bullying, biracial identity, sexual identification, and different family dynamics.
Ms. Gurtler fleshed out wonderfully Jaz's fears and emotions--dealing with her mom's pregnancy, her mom's boyfriend's (who she'd previously had a good relationship with) betrayal, and a changing friendship. But I also loved how everything ended up working out. Not in some fairy tale manner, but in something that could be show more real. There are beautiful moments of overcoming and of healing.
The romance was kind of surprising and fun to read all at the same time. Jackson was truly mysterious, but I loved how he opened up Jaz. show less