I Could Pee on This and Other Poems by Cats

I’m waiting for my cat Shadow to approach me with his royalty check because I believe strongly that he wrote many of the poems in this short hilarious volume. He’s been using my keyboard for years, why not?

Which poems did he write? They aren’t directly attributed, but I believe (based on the current state of my desk) “Nudge” was definitely penned by him.

I had to be careful to keep it away from the kitten and not to read any of the poems out loud in front of him because I didn’t want him to get any new ideas, though based on our new morning routine he may have written “I Lick Your Nose”.

I recommend this as a fun gift for the cat lover in your life.

Cat lovers and cat haters agree on little, but they would agree on this collection of poems, ostensibly written by cats themselves. Cat lovers would fondly recognize the eccentricities and foibles of their beloved companions; cat haters will be reminded of all of the feline traits they most despise.

My cat Miyabi was rescued after living as a near-feral cat outside a Paducah, Kentucky, hotel for at least a year. He’s still a bit traumatized, and the poem “Unbridled Love” could have been written by him:

I knead your chest with my sharp claws
To show you my affection
I bite your arm and don’t let go
To show you adoration

Yep, that’s Miyabi in a nutshell. And psycho or not, I still love him. Only a little bit more than I love Franceco show more Marciuliano’s hilarious book of poems. show less

Why are you reading this review? You should not waste another moment on this or any other thing, but pick up a copy of I Could Pee on This and start reading it aloud to anyone and everyone, including those creatures with “wittle” furry faces. This book of poems illustrates with charming insights and humor the essence that is “Cat.” You will learn that you are not the only one whose cat deposited a dead mouse on your bed. (The one my cat brought me was most alive and uninjured, so consider yourself lucky that you didn’t have to chase down the dead one, just dispose of it.) You will learn how cats express love – often in painful ways – to their humans. You’ll discover the cuteness that only cats can convey with their show more antics. Whether they are chasing themselves in a mirror, claiming their territory, bathing while sitting on you, or walking across the room without touching the floor, cats are in charge. Get used to it. This gem of a book will help you understand a cat’s life from a cat’s viewpoint, and really, what more do you need to know? The delightful photos are just icing on the cake or maybe catnip on the kibble. This is a book you will want to own and read over and over. But don’t let your cat pee on it. show less

Sometimes when I lie on your warm chest
And hear your every happy sigh
I gaze into your two kind eyes
And wonder, "Who is that?"
- Cat Epigram

Who could resist a title like I Could Pee on This And Other Poems by Cats? Not this reader. I picked this up for the LOLs, but honestly, I have to say, some of it makes rather good poetry as well. I think I'm going to have to buy this.

I had intended to do a more serious/parody lit crit kind of review, but my spunk seems to have deserted me today. Maybe on a re-read. For now, here are two of my favorites.

"Then All Went Dark"
I'M BLIND!
Oh, wait, I'm not
I'M BLIND!
No, my vision is clear
I'M BLIND!
But now I see you
I'M BLIND!
And there you are again.
I'M BLIND!
What is going ... Wait,
is that your hand over my show more eyes?

"Busy, Busy"
It's 8 A.M. and time to rest
It's 10 A.M. and time to relax
It's noon and time for repose
It's 3 P.M. and time for shut-eye
It's 6 P.M. and time for siesta
It's 9 P.M. and time to slumber
It's midnight and time to snooze
It's 4 A.M. and time to hang upside down
from your bedroom ceiling, screaming show less

You can probably tell this already from the title, but this book was both adorable and hilarious. Although these were definitely not your typical poems, they were still quite well written. The cadence imposed by the line breaks and the placement of the words on the page were used very effectively to guide you through each poem to the punch line. Each poem briefly takes you into the mind of a cat for one typical cat moment. Did moving confuse your cat? Well, now there’s a poem to help you understand their sense of lose and confusion. Does your cat desperately want through a door… until you open it? There’s a poem for that too. And familiar to even non-cat owners, thanks to youtube, there are also poems for the cat who destroys your show more toilet paper roll and for the cat who deliberately knocks things off the counter – just to watch them fall. Very funny and very enjoyable read. show less

Francesco Marciuliano, author of the Sally Forth comic strip, amuses readers with this collection of poems written from a cat's perspective. I saw my own cats in several of the poems. Perfect gift for a Crazy Cat Lady, and I thank the friend who gifted me with this short volume of cat poems. I want to read the other cat poem collections this author wrote.