Carry On, Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life

Glennon Doyle Melton is a born-again Christian, and I am--at most--an agnostic, so why did I love this book so much? First of all, she is hilariously funny, even when I suspect she is playing up her ditziness for effect. She could not be this good of a writer, and actually be quite as flighty as she describes herself to be sometimes. I laughed a lot while reading this, and I love to laugh. Second, she is born-again, as I put it to my dear minister friend when I recommended the book to her, "in the best possible way." For Melton, loving Jesus is all about striving to be the best, most compassionate person she can be, and being honest and open about just about everything (her weaknesses as a mom and as a human being, her checkered past) show more on her Momastery blog (where many of these essays originally ran). In a really interesting chapter called The Golden Coin, in which she reflects on confidence and humility in the context of her faith, she concludes: "Be confident because you are a child of God. Be humble because everyone else is too." Those are words I can certainly get behind, without actually joining the flock. And I don't want to give anything away (can you do that in a book of essays?), but I love, love, loved this bit towards the end: " . . . there is as much beauty in your destiny as there was in your dream. Let go and believe that whatever it is, it will be beautiful." Amen. show less

This book seems to have a polarizing effect on most readers, and I would be in that camp. I want to give this book one star, and maybe 3.5 stars. Even as I write this I don't know where I'll land. She's really setting herself up as a self help guru, though she professes the opposite.

The chapter that really repelled me was the "Coughy, Smelly Guy", in which she goes to yoga and is initially repelled by the man that takes yoga with her, and who, you guessed it, coughs and smells. Then she suggests that he is her cross to bare to be more patient. My first thought?

You narcissistic, self-centered cow.

What if that guy can only find comfort in yoga because he works with autistic children and is constantly grappling with the colds that many show more young kiddos carry? What if he's struggling to make it through a long standing illness and the only medicine that works for him comes out in his sweat and, to his embarrassment, makes him smell, and one of the few places he feels he can relax and not be judged is his yoga class.

Maybe none of these things are true, but if she's going to ascend the pulpit, I expect her to be taking the high road instead of making it all about herself. I'm totally understanding of her frustration, but if you're going to take the time to write about it, then take some time to think about your response.

The author also, in a book that holds honesty high, dedicates an entire chapter to a story deceiving her husband that she's vacuuming the carpet. She gets her daughter to make rows in the carpet with her baby carriage to make it look like the carpet has been vacuumed. How about just freaking vacuuming? Or just asking her husband to help? You know, be *honest*. Both my wife and I work full time and I make breakfast, tidy, do the laundry half the time and yes, sometimes, vacuum.

Despite *all* of this, there are some gems of humor and wisdom in here. Observations on honesty and breaking through the thin veneer that sometimes separates us and prevents real, true communication, but I can't recommend them because I'd prefer that someone found that information elsewhere, someplace where it isn't seasoned, admittedly sparingly, with contradiction and judgment. show less

Glennon was one of the panelists in a really great session about bullying at BlissDom Canada last year. This had been one of the highlights of the conference for me, so as soon as the session was over, I made a beeline to get a copy of her book.

Carry On, Warrior is part memoir and part collection of essays/blog posts that she has written for her blog, Momastery.com. I’m not a regular reader of Momastery, so all of the material was new to me… but if I had been a regular reader, I would have found it beneficial to know beforehand which material was new and which (and how much) had been recycled.

I love the voice that Glennon brings to her writing – she comes across as being completely genuine and like she would make such a wonderful show more friend. Everything was extremely well written and was able to communicate thoroughly everything that Glennon seemed to want to share with us – whether it was the story of how she and her husband met, to her (non-existent) vacuuming skills, to telling stories about her family. Each chapters is told with the humour that we all need in life in light of the struggles we go through.

One thing that I didn’t expect, and I’m sure I would have if I was more familiar with her website, was how steeped a lot of this was in Christianity. I was, in all honesty, extremely impressed that she was able to talk about her faith without being off-putting and alienating – and I think this had to do with how honest she was about the fact that she doesn’t blindly agree with everything that Christianity as a whole seems to believe a lot of the time. She was honest that she has some questions and some disagreements with Christianity. This was… refreshing, in all honesty.

I felt like there were two main themes that kept being returned to in this book – first, would be how human beings are in a constant stage of change. We see this through Glennon’s own recounting of how discovering that she seas pregnant was what caused her to become sober, as well as in how her family has moved a fair amount to find the right balance for themselves.

The other theme seems very much to be about the vulnerability that bloggers have – we put our heart and soul into our blogs, and one misinterpreted or nasty comment can send us reeling. Glennon is able to maintain that sincerity that is only present when one is allowing oneself to be vulnerable, and it makes all of her writing much more accessible.

The Bottom Line
Definitely glad I purchased this book at BlissDom last year. It was a great read, and I would highly recommend it. show less

I ordered her next book -- out in August -- before I completed [b:Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed|15802944|Carry On, Warrior Thoughts on Life Unarmed|Glennon Doyle Melton|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1359054516s/15802944.jpg|21526100]. So, yes, she can write. And I'm almost jealous of her skill -- Jeez, I'd love to write that stuff! But Glennon's stuff grows from so much addiction & woundedness -- like nothing I've ever known -- that I'm just glankful (glad & thankful) that someone has the courage and heart to do it. I laughed right out loud more than once and came close to tears just as often.

"Hi, I'm Glennon. I'm a recovering, well, everything, and most recently I've been struggling with isolation and intimacy with my show more husband and I've been getting quite angry with my kids for no reason. I feel awful about these things. But yoga is helping. Also deep breaths and baths. How are you?"

"Since brokenness is the way of folks the only way to live peacefully is to forgive everyone constantly, including yourself."

"Life is hard -- not because we're doing it wrong, just because it's hard."

"So that's why I write. My memories change ever so slightly. Reality and writing work together to create my memories, and the final result is that I remember events more beautifully than they actually happened. Or maybe in writing them down, I'm able to see for the first time how beautiful they really were."

"Grief is not something to be fixed. It's something to be borne, together. And when the time is right, there is always something that is born from it. After real grief, we are reborn as people with wider and deeper vision and greater compassion for the pain of others."

If you love Anne Lamott, think [b:Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith|10890|Traveling Mercies Some Thoughts on Faith|Anne Lamott|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1403182174s/10890.jpg|14837], I know you'll want to hang out with Glennon. show less

I'd heard of Glennon Doyle Melton -- mostly through Facebook reposts -- and some of her pieces in this book sounded really familiar, but I've not read her blog and I'm definitely not a Monkee. But it was recommended (nominated for my new book club) by a woman I really like and respect, so I read it and overall, I liked it, but it wasn't as life-changing for me as it apparently is for some readers.

The Good:
Parts of this are really funny, in a self-deprecating sort of way that I enjoy. (Especially hilarious is a story about taking her children to the dentist and...through a long story...all the other moms thinking she's drunk.)
I like her message of being real, of self-acceptance, of universal acceptance, of open-mindedness, and love. I'm show more not religious, but my favorite religious people of this ilk.

The Bad:
I think most of this material comes from her blog and it feels that way. She's grouped essays topically, rather than chronologically, so it feels very choppy. Certain topics, like adoption, her past, etc., come up here and there, but it's often confusing. In general, this trend of turning blogs into books doesn't work for me.
Like Anne Lamott, I like her general philosophy, but she's too religious for me.

The Ugly:
She comes off as pretty narcissistic and has a bit of a savior complex. I get that she's done some great things to help orphans and moms in crisis, but she's not someone I'd want to meet in real life. She would drive me batshit crazy. (I feel mean saying that, but it's my truth.)

Here are the two essays that most resonated with me (minus the religious philosophizing), which are originally from her blog: Don't Carpe Diem and A Mountain I'm Willing to Die On. show less

This won't be for everyone, but it was definitely for me. Sometimes in life you are sent a blessing in disguise - a gift you didn't even know you wanted. That was this book for me. It made me feel less crazy, less awful, less alone. The author's style is quite informal, and I listened to the audiobook read by the author, so it literally seemed like she was talking directly to me. I am a fan of her work, her honesty, and her philosophy. We can do hard things. We belong to each other. Love wins. Thank you, Glennon.

Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed by Glennon Doyle Melton
Scribner, 2013
Nonfiction; 288 pgs
(e-book copy provided by publisher)

I had never heard of Glennon Doyle Melton before being approached to be a part of this tour. Before agreeing, I did a little research, including visiting Glennon's blog, Momastery. I like what she has to say. I like what she represents. She seems like a smart and witty woman who is all about empowering women and respecting--and supporting--each other. And so, I agreed to read and review her book.

I immediately liked Glennon, from her openness about her life with all its hardships to her positive attitude. She fell into addiction at a young age, as well as an eating disorder. She never felt like she fit in show more and found a hollow comfort in controlling what went in and came out of her body. It wasn't until she became pregnant by a man she barely knew that she realized she needed to get her life together. It was a difficult struggle, but with the help and support of her family, especially her sister, Glennon made it happen. I couldn't help but think of my graduate school research partner as I read Glennon's story. Her own experience was similar in terms of her addiction and lifestyle choices early in her life. And like Glennon, she made the decision to turn her life around and is now an inspiration to others.

One day at the park, Glennon writes that she was talking with another mother and grew tired of the usual superficial banter. She spilled her story to this woman she didn't know all that well and was met with tears and a heartfelt story from this new friend. The woman could have had a completely different reaction, of course, but her own openness spurred Glennon on. Glennon knew she had to continue what she started and so she has--both in her personal life and in starting her blog. She let down her guard, let people see who she really was and not just what she wanted them to see.

I recently tried to recreate a similar moment with the mother of one of my daughter's friends and was met with a quick change of subject. I didn't exactly give her my whole history--just shared a personal struggle I'd had that fit in with the conversation. It was something, and even though it may not have led to a best friend forever scenario (I didn't expect it would anyway), I am glad I spoke up. In actuality, I have been more open and honest about quite a few things over the last year and a half--talking about how hard (and funny) parenting can be and the like--and it has been very rewarding in terms of getting other women to talk about some of their struggles. While time and experience is its own confidence builder, I also feel these conversations have given me a bit more confidence, especially in my parenting choices which aren't always in alignment with what everyone else I know is doing. So, I can relate to Glennon's approach.

The book is essentially a series of essays (many of which have appeared on her blog at one time or another). Glennon's writing style is conversational, and she comes across as someone who is easy to relate to. At least I found her so. There were times I wish she'd delved a little deeper, taken it a little farther. Ultimately, though, the author describes her experiences, her decision to be more truthful in her life, her family life and her love for her children. She talks about her faith and her strong friendships. She explains that she wants people to be more open with each other, more honest, and to be open to each other. She wants people, especially women, to stop competing with each other, to see how we are similar and value and accept each others differences--and most of all, to be kind to ourselves, to forgive ourselves when we falter or make mistakes.

As I read Glennon's thoughts and story, I felt just the way I'm sure she hoped I would feel. Validated. Hopeful. Inspired. How long will these feelings last? I don't know. But while I was reading, it sure felt nice. I was touched by her experiences, could relate to much of what she said, and admire her all the more for who she is, what she has done and what she strives to do. She isn't perfect, and I like that about her too. Perhaps most of all.

There will be some who won't connect with Glennon, I imagine. She had to make some hard choices in her life and has beliefs that might not gel with everyone else's. Even so, I think her message is one that encompasses all of us out there. show less