The Opposite of Maybe

The Opposite of Maybe, Maddie Dawson
Broadway Books
9780770437688
Submitted by the publisher
$14.00, 391 pgs

Relax. Nothing is under control.

As it turns out, Betty White has been impersonating Soapie (a toddler’s attempt to pronounce “Sophie”) all along. Soapie is Rosie’s profane, hard-headed, charming, 88-year-old grandmother whom Rosie describes as, “…so frail that it feels as though she’s constructed of chicken bones and coat hanger wires held together with Scotch tape, but she’s also tough, like a wild animal that’s about to bolt.” When we meet Soapie she’s lying on her kitchen floor, having fallen (again) while mixing Bloody Marys for her yoga class. That’s right – Bloody Marys and yoga. She had me at hello. show more Soapie’s health has been deteriorating recently – falls, irregular heartbeat, forgetfulness – and Rosie has been trying to persuade her to hire a home health aide. It’s not going well. This is how not-well it’s going:

“But I want you to be happy –“

“No, you don’t. You want me to be safe, and that’s a whole different thing. And now that I’m a thousand years old, I’m going to start having me some fun, and I am not hiring some nurse to follow me around. If I want to drink and smoke and have sex, then it’s nobody else’s goddamned –“

“Sex?” Rosie says. “You’re having sex?”

Soapie looks at her with amused, narrowed eyes. “Well, I really got your attention now, haven’t I?”

Rosie, a poet and English teacher, and Jonathan, a potter and collector of antique teacups, have been together for fifteen years. They are the last of their Connecticut social group still unmarried, childless-by-choice, and mortgage-less; they like it that way, without what Jonathan calls the “…unsavory entrapments of adulthood.” Rosie says Jonathan has “clung to his grad student existence as though it were an ethical stance.” They have their routines; they’re comfortable with each other. This is how comfortable they are:

[Jonathan’s phone rings during sex one Saturday morning. And he answers it.]

“You know…I think it’s great and all that we’re so comfortable with each other…but sometimes, just sometimes, wouldn’t it be nice if it was…romantic again?”

He blinks. “Romantic is overrated. Sometimes you get it, and sometimes you don’t. We get laughs and realness, which has got to be better over the long haul.”

“I know,” she says. “But can’t we shift gears? We used to be able to shift gears. I think once upon a time, the phone could even ring, and we didn’t pay any attention to it. Remember that?”

He says, “There’s nothing wrong with us. This is just life. Middle-aged life.”

I wanted to shoot him then, on page eight. Rosie is restless and bored and dissatisfied, stymied by Jonathan’s inertia at every turn, but she doesn’t quite know that yet – actually, she doesn’t want to know. Knowing becomes unavoidable when Jonathan finally proposes and announces that they need a fresh start. In California. Opening a teacup museum. After some thought, Rosie decides she’s “98 percent happy” with this plan. Until Jonathan takes off for San Antonio with his business partner in the museum to eyeball some collectible teacups that have just come on the market. The day before the wedding. What’s the big deal? They can get married at city hall any time they want, he says. But Rosie knows she can’t move across the country and leave Soapie unattended and her home and her students for THIS. So she stays. And Jonathan goes.

Rosie moves back in with Soapie in what is supposed to be a temporary arrangement. It’s just a short break from Jonathan, just a little time, that’s all, she’s going to follow him to California after she gets her grandmother settled, she really is. At Soapie’s place she discovers that her grandmother has found help around the house: Tony is separated from his wife, missing his son, at loose ends; George is a lifelong friend whose wife is suffering from Alzheimer’s in an assisted living center. As Rosie tries to sort out everyone else’s lives, she discovers that she is pregnant. And The Opposite of Maybe is about what happens next.

Author Maddie Dawson has a gift for dialogue, the way people really talk, and a fondness for word games. She is at her best when describing emotions without getting all gooey on us.

And Rosie, just sitting there, is having the most blinding sort of epiphany…when you realize that your crazy, impetuous grandmother might be drunk and mean, but she’s also right about you. Really, what is she doing with her life? She’s lived this quiet little tucked-in, halfway unsatisfying life…She never had a family, she never owned a house, she never even bought a brand-new car, had a disastrous love affair with an inappropriate person, or even dyed her hair some ghastly shade of red. How does this happen, that you get to be forty-four and you don’t’ have anything – not even an ill-advised tattoo – to show for it?

The Opposite of Maybe is the perfect summer vacation companion – immensely readable, fun and affecting, devoid of all pretense, and utterly charming. Toss it in your beach bag or backpack. You can thank me later. show less

There's a comfort in reading a book with realistic characters, sort of like sipping tea from that special mug, or slipping into your favorite pair of jeans. Flash, drama, and excitement in a book is fine, but I also like that other type, where I read about people who I might meet perusing veggies at the farmer's market, or while waiting at a bus stop, or even when picking up the mail in my apartment building. Maddie Dawson created a whole slew of such characters -- not perfect, glamorous beings, but ones with their own quirks, both lovable and irritating. In The Opposite of Maybe they come to life, open a window into their world so we can glimpse them moving through their days, sometimes commiserating, sometimes cheering, and show more occasionally shouting a "look out!"

With Rosie and Jonathan, Dawson unveils a couple who fit each other like an old pair of socks; the type you think is just fine until you suddenly realize your toe is poking out and the heel is threadbare. Though the couple originally planned to move together from the east coast to the west, Jonathan heads off on his own (to start a tea cup museum), and Rosie stays home to sort out the world of her cantankerous grandmother, Soapie, who raised Rosie after her own mother's death. Soapie is flirting with memory loss and other issues of the elderly, but still insists on her evening cocktails. She also refuses Rosie's help in selecting appropriate home health help, instead relying on a young man, with no credentials, no recommendations, and barely a job. So, Rosie moves in to discover the true situation and sort things out. Instead, she discovers that at age 44, with her lover on the other side of the country, and a cast of characters she never anticipated being in her life, she is pregnant.

And the rest is a good story in the telling. show less

This is a sometimes hilarious, sometimes poignant story that is sort of a coming-of-age even though the protagonist is well past the sort of teen who'd normally feature in such a tale. It's true, though: it's about getting older, discovering yourself, discovering others -- all the components of a coming-of-age but with an adult backdrop instead of a high school one.

I thought it was incredibly sweet, and very funny, with her "dustpan diva" grandmother and the mysterious men in her life, the boyfriend with the obsession about teacups, the friends who can't quite relate but love her anyhow... it's quite the parade of characters and both fun and eyeroll-inducing once you get into the story!

Probably not the best book to read the same week I moved both of my parents into a nursing home, but somehow it made me smile and even chuckle a few times. Above average women's fiction, with a realistic view of the difficulties of elderly caretaking and a slow burn romance.

The Opposite of Maybe is an interesting story not only about a woman who has mid-life crisis, but it also is a story about the choices we make in our life and how those choices affect us.

First of all, why did it take FIFTEEN YEARS of being in a relationship with Jonathan to realize that they weren’t a good match?!!! I almost yelled at the book, and thought “seriously Rosie?!” There were so many red flags in their relationship, some including:

Jonathan states that they should postpone our wedding, (yes, that’s right a wedding), so I can meet up with this guy on the west coast and discuss business about tea cups.
Rosie tells him she’s pregnant, and Jonathan responds that he doesn’t want to be a part of “this”, but then show more changes his mind when she’s more than halfway through the pregnancy, that he wants to be involved.
Jonathan decides at the last-minute, he needs money for the baby, but is slightly burdened that he has to sell his precious National Geographic magazine collection (oh boo hoo Jonathan)
Now Rosie, doesn’t exactly have a clean slate either, but there are far more strikes against Jonathan (at least in my opinion)

I strongly wanted Rosie to end up with Tony a quarter way into reading the novel despite his own personal dramas going on in his life. But at this point, every character is dealing with some major life obstacle that they are trying to break though and workout on their on. I admire Tony, for staying so optimistic and even though he was going through his own drama he went out his way to help Soapie and Rosie.

Rosie does grow throughout the novel, especially as she comes to a realization that she hasn’t really lived her own life and just has been following others and doing what they want. She learns that she needs to stop holding back her feelings, speak her mind, and live life to the fullest.

Despite all my earlier ranting, I loved this story and the characters (I was just mad that they were acting stupid). Especially the endearing relationship between Rosie and her grandmother, Soapie, who is so full of life. Though they butt heads, they look out for each other. show less

Sometimes life just seems to stagnate. Rose and Jonathan just are, but are they truly happy? There seems to be a lot of little things that show that they might not be perfect for each other. But they have been together so long, and they are happy.

Jonathan is obsessed with tea-cups..yes, I said that. That is all there is in his head. She deserves more.

Rose is no better, cos they both gave up on what they really wanted long ago. She used to write poetry, he made pottery. They are that childless couple that is happy to be just the two of them. But what would the book be without complications?

Jonathan moves across country, Rose moves in with her grandma. Someone needs to take care of Soapie, but then there is Tony who lives there too and show more does take care of her. I liked Tony, he was a good friend to Rose. Because then life gets more complicated when she finds herself pregnant at 44. What do do then?

It's about Rose coming to terms with her pregnancy. Soapie trying to say that Rose should get more out of life. And slowly Rose might or might not realize what she wants.

A nice book, it had this kind of lazy Sunday night vibe (ok no one know what that means, but it was nice and relaxed.) And I am glad how it all turned out in the end. show less

Full Disclosure: I received a copy of this book from Blogging for Books, in exchange for an honest review.

My Thoughts: Sometimes you read a book’s description and expect one thing and when it ends up being something else, you’re either happily surprised of very disappointed. The Opposite of Maybe fell into the latter category for me. That may be a tad harsh; it wasn’t a disappointment per say.

Rose is an interesting character, but I had a hard time connecting to her. She’s 44, been with a guy for years and never gotten married. They don’t have kids or what I’d call conventional jobs. And there is nothing wrong with any of that. Technically, I can relate to everything except her age, but I just couldn’t connect with her show more character. Her boyfriend, Jonathan, had moments when I understood where he was coming from. Ultimately, I felt like he was a selfish jerk. It pissed me off to no end when he was characterized as an introvert. What?! Just because someone is an introvert, it doesn’t mean they’re awkward, selfish, obsessive, or weird.

The Opposite of Maybe was a DNF (did not finish) for me. There wasn’t anything bad or offensive about it. I was just bored. Sometimes books mean more to you when you’re in certain stages of life. I think this is one of those times. I’ll probably go back and read The Opposite of Maybe when I’m in my 30s or 40s because it is a well-written book. It’s just hard to relate or wrap my head around Rosie’s point of view on her life because I’m in my 20s and most of her issues seem like they’re manageable. I don’t want to say they’re no big deal because having a baby is a big deal no matter your age.

The plot was a bit slow-moving, but it’s realistic fiction about life and pregnancy. You can’t exactly expect it to move at the same pace as an action/adventure/fantasy book. Actually, this was where I had my issues with The Opposite of Maybe. Since I had no significant problems with the characters (other than a lack of connection), the plot was where I lost interest. I’m not in the marriage and babies mindset yet and I don’t think it’s shocking that I would get a little bored reading about it.

In the end, The Opposite of Maybe just wasn’t for me at this stage of my life. I want to stress that it is not a bad book though. I would more than likely recommend it to some of the women I know over the age of 30 (not to be sexist or an ageist).

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