The Last Time We Say Goodbye

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Despite the sad title, part of me was hoping for the romance of Cynthia Hand’s unearthly. Whatever the circumstances, I’ll always be hoping for swoons. As soon as I hit the dedication, which I usually skip, I knew that The Last Time We Say Goodbye would be an incredibly sad book. It reads, “For Jeff. Because this is the only way I know to reach for you.” In just those lines, I feel pain and heartbreak. The Last Time We Say Goodbye seems to me almost a character study of dealing with the loss of a loved one to suicide.

Since I wasn’t in the mood for a darker contemporary, I wasn’t sure if I was actually going to read The Last Time We Say Goodbye. It show more wasn’t so much that I didn’t want to read it eventually, but I figured I’d give the egalley a couple of pages, and I’d DNF it with every intention to come back to it if it didn’t grab me. There’s a reason, though, that Hand’s Unearthly, despite not being my thing plot-wise grabbed me years ago. She excels at characters and narration. This means that the book grabbed me on the first page; the first paragraph told me that I’d be reading the whole novel now. Here’s the first paragraph, so you can see why:

First I’d like to state for the record that the whole notion of writing this down was not my idea. It was Dave’s. My therapist’s. He thinks I’m having trouble expressing my feelings, which is why he suggested I write in a journal—to get it out, he said, like in the old days when physicians used to bleed their patients in order to drain the mysterious poisons. Which almost always ended up killing them in spite of the doctors’ good intentions, I might point out.

It’s that joke there at the end that told me this would be the sort of sad book that I could handle. I despise sentiment, and sometimes that’s what the so-called issue books are. Lots of sad, sad sentiment. I like my emotion cloaked in sarcasm or hidden beneath an inability to parse emotions. These things are present in The Last Time We Say Goodbye. I think these things make the book lighter in some ways, easier to digest, but also darker.

Lex hardly feels sad when The Last Time We Say Goodbye begins. Not feeling sad would ordinarily be a good thing, but in this case she’s not happy either. She’s not remotely herself, but she can’t cry anymore and she’s numb, except for the times where she feels like her insides are a hollow pit. Those times of abject pain are the best times, because at least she knows she can still feel something after her brother’s suicide. Something about that hits me so much harder than anything else.

As she should be, Lex attends therapy. There is, by the way, zero stigma attached to this, which again is as it should be. The therapy runs throughout the background of the novel, informing everything that Lex does. Her breakthroughs seem to come from talking with people in her life and not from therapy, but would not have come were she not in therapy. Writing in the journal helps open her up and get her memory going, helps her to remember Ty.

The Last Time We Say Goodbye verges on magical realism. Both Lex and her mother see ghosts. What I like is that it still feels like a contemporary and not a paranormal. Whether ghosts are real or it was some part of the grieving process, it was what they needed to go on living and find joy again. Lex finds it difficult to forgive herself and everyone else, because any one of them could maybe have prevented Ty from committing suicide. The whole book is about Lex coming to terms with that. It’s at no point a happy book, but it’s as hopeful as it can be, given the tragic circumstances.

There are two more things I want to mention. 1) I love that Lex is into mathematics. She actually thinks her way through the Fibonacci sequence to fall asleep. She worries about English class and loves calculus. She dreams of attending MIT and becoming a mathemetician. 2) The romance, which is minimal, delights me. I can’t say it was incredibly shippy, but I liked that it followed a non-traditional YA novel pattern, since they were an established couple before the novel began.

Pick The Last Time We Say Goodbye up when you’re ready for a good cry. No, for the record, I didn’t cry, but I did feel pain. show less

Usually when I write a review I start off with a short synopsis, a preview as to what you might expect to see from the book. For instance there might be a little once upon a time, something about a princess, a prince, a happily ever after, yada, yada, yada. I can't make myself write an over view of this book. I can barley write a sentence about it because I can't put into words how spectacular it is.

Lex's brother Ty committed suicide. This book is about the after, the before and how the two collide.

That's it. That's all you get. Now please take my advice, even if it's the only advice you ever take from me and go buy this book. Hell buy two copies.

I'm not going to lie, when I first picked up this book I had no idea what it was about, show more it was my first Cynthia Hand book and I went in blind. Within the first couple of pages I was kicking myself for picking this book. I had just finished Playlist For The Dead and I did not want another book about teenage suicide.

Let me just say that this book is so much more than a 'suicide book'. It's such a beautifully written story about love and loss and the moments we take for granted. You never know when a goodbye will be your last and Cynthia does an amazing job of teaching us all this life lesson.

I am not an overly emotional person, I don't cry in public, I don't get weepy in the movie theater (save it for TFIOS) and when I know how a book is going to end I tend not to get too emotional about the outcome.

Well Cynthia Hand, you took my heart out of my chest and wrung it out like a wet paper towel. I finished this book at work thank God I wasn't wearing any eye makeup that day because it was like someone turned on a faucet and there was no stopping the waterfall of tears streaming down my face. Even writing this now, thinking back on the last couple of chapters I'm getting teary eyed. Cynthia Hand broke me in the best possible way.

From the dedication on the first page to the last sentence Cynthia weaves a heart wrenching tale, one that I'm sure will stay with me, and other readers, for years to come.

Go get this book, a box of tissues and some waterproof mascara. You will not be disappointed.

Until next time,
Ginger

In compliance with FTC guidelines I am disclosing that this book was given to me for free to review.
My review is my honest opinion. show less

Lex's brother Tyler killed himself on December 20. On February 5, Lex gives in to her counselor's suggestion of writing in a journal. Lex tells the story of her present and (via journal entries) her past as she faces the rest of her senior year--college plans, her parents' difficult responses to Ty's death, the loss of her boyfriend Steven. To add to it all, Lex feels that Ty wants something of her and wonders if she's seeing his ghost.

One of the only genres I avoid is the spoon-feeding "social issues" novel. This book's back cover blurb imparts only the information that Lex is the main character and her brother has recently committed suicide. Based on that blurb alone, I would never have picked this up. So why did I? Because Cynthia show more Hand wrote it. Truly the only reason. I don't read much YA, but the [b:Unearthly|7488244|Unearthly (Unearthly, #1)|Cynthia Hand|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1324782984s/7488244.jpg|9621771] series is one of my favorites; I love Ms. Hand's voice and her characters and her dialogue. So rather unwillingly, I gave this one a try.

I could sum up this review thusly: I will read whatever Cynthia Hand writes for the rest of her career.

Nothing about this novel is sledgehammered into the reader's head. Lex is a person, not a mouthpiece for social awareness. She's a math genius waiting to hear if her dream of MIT will become reality. She's an atheist raised by a church-going mom. She's a perfectionist, a conscientious firstborn who claimed her baby brother as "mine" the first time she met him. She's in love with her boyfriend and afraid to believe in love. She wishes she were more adept at swearing and she likes cherry Pop-Tarts.

This story is Lex's journey--heartbreaking, life-affirming, yes. But also beautifully written, unraveling slowly toward revelations from the past and resolutions in the present. Not neat and tidy wrap-ups, not a happily ever after, but a final "goodbye" that will let Lex live even though Ty didn't.

Driven by character moments and deep, human truths, THE LAST TIME WE SAY GOODBYE is an honest patchwork of hurt and humor and anger and aches, a book that faces both death and life. show less

O último Adeus

Só tenho uma coisa a dizer: esse livro conquistou meu coraçãozinho está no top5 dos livros lidos de 2016. E finalmente, depois de muitas leituras, eu chorei, chorei, chorei com essa história. Realmente fiquei mal quando terminei a última página.

Só lendo esse livro para entender o que estou falando.

A partir de fatos reais em sua vida, Cynthia Hand escreveu esse livro para retratar sobre um assunto complicado e pouco explorado até recentemente: depressão e suicídio. Ela mostra a vida de quem ficou depois de perder um ente querido do nada e sem muitas explicações.

Alexis é uma jovem que está no último ano da escola, vivendo a pressão de ir para a universidade e todas as questões da vida de uma adolescente show more normal. Seu mundo está de ponta a cabeça após a morte do irmão, tentando encontrar motivos para seguir em frente e juntando forças para ajudar a mãe a viver o luto da forma mais saudável possível.

Ela tenta a todo custo encontrar formas de entender a razão do irmão ter feito o que fez. Quais foram os verdadeiros motivos que o levaram a tirar a própria vida. E essa busca a atormenta e a deixa meio sem rumo, se sentindo culpada por não ter entendido e notado o sofrimento do irmão. Alexis chega ao posto de achar que não é digna em ter um futuro, que não lhe é permitido fazer planos, traçar novos objetivos. Ser feliz é algo totalmente proibido a ela.

O último adeus é um pouco arrastado no começo, mas a narrativa fica interessante após conhecermos os personagens e suas personalidades. Depois o enredo fica mais atraente e ficamos curiosos em saber como a história irá chegar ao seu desfecho: as perguntas que temos ao longo da leitura são respondidas.

A empatia logo rola quando nos identificamos com os personagens e com as situações vividas. A perda de um ente querido é sempre muito dolorosa, principalmente da forma como ocorreu com o irmão da protagonista. Só para quem viveu algo do tipo para entender o que Alexis e seus familiares sentem. Achei o pai um tanto quanto apático em relação a morte do filho. Ele parecia mais um parente distante do que para pai mesmo.

O livro tem um projeto editorial muito bonito (como ocorre em vários livros da Darkside Books, eles arrasam!). As páginas são amarelinhas com a fonte na cor azul bic, para combinar com a proposta da capa. Acho que isso deu o toque todo especial. As capas duras são marca registrada da editora. Acho lindas e ficam perfeitas na estante, sem contar a questão bibliófila da coisa. Porém, de um tempo para cá, tenho notado dificuldades em ler livros nelas, principalmente porque na maioria das vezes faço leitura no transporte público.

Acho que o que me fez gostar muito desse livro, foi o fato de ter me conectado tão bem com os personagens, entendido a dor deles, por mais que não tenha vivido nada parecido em minha vida. Chorei com o final, não por ser triste, porque é. Mas o desfecho nos faz refletir sobre nossas atitudes, sobre nossa relação com o vida e o pensamento que os suicidas tem de si e do mundo em que vivem às vezes não está muito longe daquilo que nós pensamos.

Se está a procura de uma leitura que trate sobre suicídio e depressão, com um texto bem escrito, sem estereótipos, retratando a vida daqueles que ficaram após a morte de alguém querido, esse é o livro que você precisa ler.

site: http://www.karinparedes.com/o-ultimo-adeus-de-cynthia-hand/ show less

Review courtesy of Dark Faerie Tales

Quick & Dirty: Emotional and often thought provoking, but a very depressing read.

Opening Sentence: First I’d like to state for the record that the whole notion of writing this down was not my idea.

The Review:

I really wanted to enjoy this book but there seems to be a plethora of books about teenage deaths / suicides of late and it’s beginning to get rather repetitive. Recently, I read Playlist For the Dead, which was also about a teenage suicide and the effect the death had on friends and family. Perhaps, I would have enjoyed this more if it was a suspense or mystery, but it just seemed like a very sad, depressing read. Emotional and often thought provoking, but very depressing.

Of course, being show more angry is pointless. Unproductive. They don’t understand yet. That they are still waiting for that one phone call that will change everything. That every one of them will feel like me eventually. Because someone they love will die. It’s one of life’s cruel certainties.

The story is told from Lex’s perspective and how she deals with her brother Ty’s death. Initially, Lex is very closed off and has distanced herself from her friends and family, wallowing in her grief. However, the growth in her character is evident as the story progresses and as Lex tries to make sense of what happened. It’s clear that Lex feels guilty because she wasn’t able to prevent her brother’s suicide, but the more she opens up, the better she deals with it. Lex not only helps herself in overcoming her grief, but manages to lure her mother out of her sadness too, as well as begin to mend the bonds with her father. This is all very good for Lex and her family, but I just could not see anything that stood out to mark this book as exceptional.

“…If anyone’s going to live to be a hundred, Mom, it’s you. So stop saying your life is over. It’s not even halfway over. And yes, your son died, and that’s awful, and that hurts, but it’s not your fault. And you know what? Everybody dies, and everybody loses people they love-everybody-and that is not an excuse for you to fucking die. I love you, and I need you to be my mother, and I need you to have a life. So get over yourself.”

Ty was clearly very depressed and, as Lex notes, suicide is a very common occurrence, it’s just that we don’t notice it until it affects us personally. His death was explained in graphic detail and I wonder whether there should be an age limit since this is YA!

There’s death all around us. Everywhere we look. 1.8 people kill themselves every second.
We just don’t pay attention. Until we do.

The message I took from this read is that if you know someone suffering with depression try to help them as much as you can by being there to listen and actively showing that you care. But in the end, the only person that can help you is yourself. The second, and more important message is to appreciate life and the people around you because you never know what will happen next.

Notable Scene:

“I know things have been hard since Tyler…”

And she pauses.

God, I hate that pause, while the person speaking searches for the most watered-down way to say died, like calling it by another name is going to make it any less awful: terms like laid to rest, like death’s some kind of nap; passed or departed, like it’s a vacation; expired, which is supposed to be more technical but really sounds like the deceased is a carton of milk, a date stamped on them, after which they become-well, sour milk.

“Killed himself,” I fill in for Miss Mahoney.

FTC Advisory: HarperTeen provided me with a copy of The Last Time We Say Goodbye. No goody bags, sponsorships, “material connections,” or bribes were exchanged for my review. show less

I got a copy of this book to review through the Amazon Vine series. I was a huge fan of Hand’s Unearthly series, so I was eager to see what Hand would write for her first contemporary young adult fiction novel. This was a very tough read but incredibly well written.

This book is about a girl, Lex, whose brother kills himself. She is dealing with the aftermath and trying to understand why he did this. She and her mother are also struggling to figure out how to get on with their lives when everything has suddenly changed so drastically.

I really haven’t read any contemporary fiction about teen suicide before, so keep that in mind (I don’t have a lot to compare this book to). This is a very emotional read; there were parts of the book show more where I laughed out loud and parts where I cried. The book is very sad, but also ends on a very hopeful note.

The story alternates between what Lex is dealing with on a day to day basis and what she writes in a journal she is keeping at the request of her therapist. The whole story is driving towards Lex’s admission about the events that happened the night of her brother’s suicide.

This book was absolutely impossible to put down, I read the full 400 pages in one night (when I should have been doing things like exercising and sleeping). I just had to know what actually happened to her brother, what led him to commit suicide, and how Lex and her mom were going to move on with their lives.

I loved Lex as a character. She is something of a mathematical genius and she looks at the world a bit differently than most other teens. However, that being said she is dealing with a lot of the same issues. She has a wonderfully geeky and sweet boyfriend that she is struggling to maintain a relationship with because of her brother’s death. She is trying to keep her grades up despite her depression because she wants to go to MIT. Mostly she is struggling with how different everyone treats her because of this one selfish act her brother committed.

Overall this is highly recommended if you like young adult contemporary fiction. The book is just incredibly well written and impossible to put down. You get very involved with the characters and their lives very quickly. Just read it somewhere where you don’t mind crying. show less

I wanted to read The Last Time We Say Goodbye because the subject of mental illness and the fall out of suicide is personal to me. I could relate with Lex because I feel the guilt of a family member who's lost their life and questioning everything. Could I have done something differently? What if this and what if that.

The romance in the flash backs was sweet. Lex is a smart girl and self professed nerd. We know from the beginning in present that her and Steven didn't work out but I still enjoyed looking at their history and seeing the awkward interactions and the sweet exploration.

The family dynamic in this book was dysfunctional even before the suicide. After even more so. Their parents went through a divorce and their time with show more their dad is stilted. Her mom after is obviously depressed and not living in the present for lex. She sleeps all the time and doesn't really talk to lex about what happened.

I totally get what lex was going through emotionally. She didn't cry, and that is something that I struggle with feeling almost robotic in that way because even though mourning, the tears Digby back up on the outside what I feel inside. She also deals with anxiety and panic and it can be so debilitating and hard to understand and deal with.

Lex's struggles and working towards goals to make things even a little better is realistic. None of the revelations. realizations, or healing came over night. She had to work for it. She used journals and counceling, and talking with friends trying to heal. She also has her mom who feels that her life is over having lost Tyler, and she wants to be a support for her and as she learns that it will hurt, there are other people that want to help.

The ending was hopeful, but still shows that only time will heal (cliches are cliches for a reason). It shows the importance of family (no matter how dysfunctional), friends (even when you feel like you have nothing in common anymore.) That everyone has issues and knows pain and loss on some level, and that they really don't care how hurt, they just want you to let you in. It wrapped things up well and left me feeling emotionally beaten and then a slow heal for me too.

Bottom Line: Realistic journey of Lex trying to make sense of and heal from the suicide of her brother. show less