All Is Not Forgotten

Oh my word, this was a very unique read. We are plunged straight into the moments following the rape of Jenny Kramer and the pace of the book does not relent until the final page has been turned. It's an absolutely magnetic read that I'm sure people will have no problem reading in one or two sittings. I was so completely engrossed from start to finish that I felt like a new born bunny at the end, blinking furiously to take in my surroundings as if I couldn't quite believe that I was sitting in Gateshead, UK and not in Connecticut, USA.

It's not an easy read by any means; there are some very dark moments as the details of Jenny's rape are revealed. Wendy Walker has been very clever in examining what would happen if we could erase from our show more memory the very worst thing that has ever happened to us. It sounds great, not being able to remember such a devastating event but the event itself can't be erased from history. It still happened even though you can't remember it and that is a form of mental torture in itself.

The book is written as if narrated by Jenny's psychiatrist, Dr. Alan Forrester. After Jenny has treatment to erase her memory of the rape, she struggles with the physical scars that remained. Dr. Forrester agrees to help her with memory recovery to see if she can remember what happened that night. It is only through remembering what happened that Jenny can deal with it and move on, but Dr. Forrester has to ensure that it is real memories that Jenny remembers and not suggested memories. Although sometimes suggested memories may have their advantages for someone who wants to pervert the course of justice...

It really does make you think about the power of the human mind. How open we are to suggestions and how the brain protects us from harmful events. It actually became secondary to me, finding out who actually raped Jenny, as I was so intrigued by the memory recovery process and the sessions that Dr. Forrester had with Jenny's family.

All Is Not Forgotten is a gripping, addictive, compulsive, highly intelligent and simply brilliant psychological thriller. I can't praise it highly enough! I really felt as if my brain had been given an intense workout and I can't stop thinking or talking about this book since I finished it; I'll certainly be recommending it for many years to come.

I received this book from the publisher, Harlequin, in exchange for an honest review. show less

“All Is Not Forgotten” is a psychological thriller. Written by Wendy Walker, the novel weaves together the lives of several people surrounding a family who’s teenage daughter is brutally attacked. Fifteen-year-old Jenny Kramer was raped and carved during a high school party. After allowing her to be given a controversial drug that is supposed to erase her memory, Jenny’s mother believes that her daughter will be able to go back to “normal” since she won’t need to relive the painful memories. However, Jenny’s story takes a turn and without being able to remember what happened to her, she is unable to process her emotions.

One of the most interesting aspects of this book is the perspective. In the first few chapters, show more you’re kept guessing who the narrator is as he describes the situation and explicates his own involvement with the Kramer family. At first, I was thinking it would be one of her parents or good friend, but the choice of a psychiatrist was a terrific way to thread together the various storylines from each member of the family as well as claim a somewhat unbiased account of events.

The novel explores how our brains work, how memories are made and stored, as well as our emotional reactions to the things around us. Erasing a memory doesn’t mean it’s gone, and not remembering doesn’t take away the pain. Because memories and emotions are so volatile, it made the puzzle of Jenny’s memory unsettling – both to try to relive and disconcerting to think someone could just choose to take them away or alter them.

Wendy Walker did a great job of telling a compelling story, complete with a twisted mystery that makes the ending that much more unexpected. The individual characters felt a bit under-developed as I really wanted to get to know Jenny, Tom, and Sean more, but due to the perspective of the story it was realistic and made sense to have so many intimate details without necessarily grasping the full picture.

As intriguing as the mystery behind Jenny’s attack was to keep this story moving, the most fascinating aspect was examining the concept of memories and seeing how the various characters react to situations without thinking about how their individual actions will affect not only them but the path of everyone involved. As Wendy Walker aptly writes, “With youth comes the inability to know what’s going to happen as a decision is played out. It is one of the greatest shames of the human experience that by the time we know how to conduct ourselves in an appropriate manner, there’s little conducting left to do.” (Page 29) show less

Can erasing the memory of an horrific event help heal the victim? That is the fascinating premise to this novel. Jenny has been brutally attacked, her mother is in denial and her father is hell bent on revenge and Dr Foster just wants to help. Jenny has had her memory of that night chemically wiped in a bid to spare her trauma but how can you begin to recover when you can't remember what happened and how will the rapist ever be caught?
This is an original and disturbing book, it keeps the reader guessing; I was never quite sure exactly what was going on until right at the end and I made several bad guesses as to who the true bad guy was. Be warned it is quite graphic but never gratuitously so. It completely hooked me.

After trying to write this review without spoilers more times than I want to admit, I am just going to have to say that this review may contain spoilers of some sort because I just cannot write about the impressions it made on me without discussing certain aspects of the book. Consider yourself warned.

All Is Not Forgotten touts itself as a thriller. In one light, this is a valid categorization. There is a slow build-up of evidence and tension that reaches a peak and fades away during the resolution. There is a mystery to solve in the form of Jenny’s attacker, and one gets to that answer following a very twisted path. However, as is so often the case these days, what the synopsis says the book is about and what the book is actually show more about are two very different things.

Your first inkling that something is not quite right is the narrator. In the beginning, he is this unknown entity who has taken an interest in Jenny and her family. We don’t know why he has done so, and his attention to detail is a bit disturbing while he remains this unknown figure. Later, the knowledge that he is their therapist should make you feel better, but his self-aggrandizing quickly grows old. More than that, it seems unnecessary and makes you question why he feels the need to tout his credentials.

The next troubling thought is the dawning realization that we never see the story through the victim’s eyes. All Is Not Forgotten may be about Jenny, her assault, and her struggle to recover those memories, but we never find out what Jenny is experiencing in any capacity. Nor do we get inside Tom or Charlotte’s heads from a first-person perspective or even a third-person omniscient point-of-view. We only know what they tell their psychiatrist. While he certainly believes they are incapable of hiding anything from him, human nature is fallible, and the possibility exists that they are indeed keeping secrets from him. Moreover, we lose the intimacy that would exist were we to get their side of the story without someone else editing or interpreting their words.

The nail in the coffin as to the fact that the book is not what it says it is about is when the dear, esteemed psychiatrist goes rogue in an effort to protect his family. Suddenly, the story is not about Jenny and her trauma but about the doctor’s need to justify himself. This discovery is not sudden, as there are plenty of hints to that point that indicate the doctor may have a somewhat altered role in the Kramer case than we initially think, but it is unwelcome because it takes a tragic story about a sympathetic character and turns it into a nasty psychological drama about a decidedly unsympathetic character.

All Is Not Forgotten was a novel that captured my attention quickly and never really let go. I was absorbed in the drama the entire time and only set it down in brief spurts when I needed a break from the strong emotions it was evoking in me. In that, it is an excellent novel. Jenny’s story is one that piques your interest from the very beginning. Her horrific assault, including the details, implied and otherwise, as well as the equally horrific treatment spark the need to protect and care for this lost and damaged girl.

However, upon finishing the store, I felt and still feel used. You think you are reading about one thing, only to have that story roughly hijacked by someone else with his own agenda. There is nothing remotely subtle about the story, including the mind games involved by the doctor and the author. As your awareness of his machinations and the impact they had on his clients, who he is sworn to protect no less, the feeling of betrayal by the author grows. The manipulation of the reader is so overt and so extreme that I feel downright dirty.

The sad(?) part is that in spite of – or maybe even because of – my strong reaction to the story as a whole, I want people to read it. I want others to form their own opinions and tell me whether I am justified in mine. I want you to experience Dr. Alan Forrester for yourself and see the story shift between disinterested third-party medical professional to highly vested unethical psychiatrist with his own agenda. After all, while All Is Not Forgotten may not be the novel I thought it was, the strong reaction I had to it tells me that Ms. Walker did something right. show less

When something is 'erased' can it truly be forgotten? It was there in your memory, because you experienced it, so surely some trace of it remains? .. And if you pretend something didn't happen- could it have? Hmm, ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away, and erasing a mark doesn't take away the indentations on the page.

From the first sobering and disturbing chapter, Walker had me. Her writing is intelligent, detailed and thoughtful; she chooses her words carefully and with purpose. The details are intensely accurate and insightful, lending an air of expertise and meaning to the storyline. Walker holds you present and intrigued throughout this entire thriller.

The mystery of who raped Jenny, and why, will haunt you until the end. The show more key is in the details, for what you think is true and clear, isn't. The story that unfolds through her family members, friends and other victims tangles you up in the web of the plot.
This one keeps you thinking late into the night, not solely about the story events themselves, but also of psychiatric diagnosis, roles, and the controversy and dangers of memory alterations for victims of traumatic events.

This novel will shatter you. Emotionally and intellectually it will move you. Walker will have you looking over your shoulder, warning your children of the dangers of society and questioning your own life choices and morals. Brilliant.

*I received an arc from NetGalley for an honest review show less

Mesmerizing -- and also a little maddening!

(Full disclosure: I received a free electronic ARC though NetGalley. Trigger warning for violence, including rape.)

"I was a child with a box of matches."

"It seems so easy, doesn’t it? To just erase the past. But now you know better."

Jilted by some jerk named Doug, fifteen-year-old Jenny Kramer flees from the party he'd invited her to - only to cross paths with a predator. Jenny is assaulted and raped in the woods surrounding her classmate's house. A few of her fellow party-goers hear Jenny's cries and rush to her aid, but not until the hour-long attack has ended, and the perpetrator escaped.

Upon her arrival at the hospital, the doctors immediately administer a sedative so that they can show more perform an exam and then surgery. With her parents' consent, they also subject Jenny to a controversial treatment to erase her memories of the trauma. A combination of morphine and Benzatral, the treatment is meant to induce limited anterograde amnesia in patients: preventing short-term memories from being filed away in long-term storage. (While this does feel a little science fiction-y, according to the author's note, the premise is based on emerging research, most notably on veterans suffering from PTSD.)

While the treatment initially appears successful - inasmuch as Jenny has no memories of the rape - Jenny's mental state slowly begins to unravel. She suffers from anxiety and insomnia; she begins to self-medicate with alcohol and drugs; and, eight months later, she attempts suicide.

Enter Dr. Alan Forrester, Fairview's only psychiatrist, who also just so happens to be working with a patient similar to Jenny. Sean Logan is an ex-Navy SEAL who lost an arm in an IED explosion in Iraq. Like Jenny, he was given a treatment to help him forget (although the military at least had his consent to do so, however dubious). In the months since, Sean's preexisting anxiety has only multiplied, giving way to bouts of rage and violence. Scared that he might hurt his wife or son - and desperate to remember what happened to the rest of his team - Sean has been working with Alan to recover his memories. Dr. Forrester is confident that he can help Jenny - and, by extension, the stalled criminal investigation - as well.

All Is Not Forgotten is a tricky book to review. Compulsively readable, I had trouble putting it down ... except, of course, for all the ragey status updates I posted to Goodreads. (Awful narrator is awful, but then that's kind of the point.) Yet I found the ending less than satisfying.

The story is told from the point of view of the psychiatrist, and shifts abruptly in tone about halfway through. This is where it becomes clear that the good (ahem) doctor has his own agenda, which sometimes - but not always - sits in opposition to his patient's best interests. At first he comes across as a nice enough guy, but soon cracks begin to appear in his shiny armor. He doesn't seem to think much of his wife or son, yet has an inflated sense of his own self worth. He does a lot of unethical, rage-inducing stuff; rationalizes and makes excuses; is vindicated, in a sense; and then lives happily every after. This is thanks in no small part to the twisty ending, which is improbable but not ridiculously so, as they often are. (Black-Eyed Susans, I am looking at you.)

Jenny's parents are an integral part of the story - as they begin therapy with Dr. Forrester as well - and Walker does a good job of developing them into interesting and complex characters in their own right. Jenny, on the other hand, doesn't receive much characterization outside of the rape, and its effect on her. We don't much sense of the girl she was before. Her relationship with Sean is quite lovely, though, and I also appreciate that its platonic development proved Forrester wrong. Dude could stand to be taken down one or twenty pegs, okay.

I also didn't much care for the focus on Dr. Forrester, which pushes Jenny - you know, the victim/survivor? - into the margins. By allowing Alan to narrate the story, it becomes all about him. Of course, this could be the author's intention - the guy's nothing if not self-important - and yet it just feels wrong. Unsettling. A little icky.

Probably the story's similarities to the Brock Turner rape case - which, at the time of this writing, is dominating the news - doesn't help me feel any better about it: it being the ubiquity of rape in our entertainment; the rush to protect rapists, especially rich, white, male athletes; the marginalization of victims and their voices. Etc., etc.

Overall, All Is Not Forgotten is a gripping read that raises some important questions about informed consent, medical ethics, memory, self-identity, trauma, and therapy. It's a great weekend or summer read; I devoured it in one especially hot and lazy June day. (It even distracted me from the humidity for five minutes here and there.) But thinking too hard on it might make you a little stabby.

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All Is Not Forgotten by Wendy Walker is a very highly recommended psychological thriller.

Jenny Kramer, 15, is drunk when she wandered into the woods at a teenage party in Fairview, Connecticut. In the woods she is brutally raped for an hour. The rapist wore a condom and shaved all his body hair. When she is at the hospital her parents, Tom and Barbara, consent to the doctors giving her a new drug that will erase her memory of the attack. While Jenny's body heals, she won't have to deal with the psychological trauma. The problem is that the attack left scars, emotional and physical. Jenny is in pain emotionally but because she doesn't remember the attack she has nothing to fight against, except, perhaps, herself.

At the same time Tom is show more on a vendetta and is determined to find Jenny's rapist and bring him to justice. Barbara, on the other hand, is a master at splitting her personality into two people. She wants their lives to all continue as if nothing happened. Barbara has never dealt well with the pain from her childhood and she is unable to see/accept Jenny's pain. Jenny is angry, and emotionally distraught. She knows something happened to her, but she can't remember it. The town knows something happened to her and they do remember.

The narrator of the novel is Dr. Alan Forrester, the family's psychiatrist. He eventually has Jenny and both of her parents under treatment. He also shares some of the stories of other patients he has had that shed some light on their circumstances - or his involvement. He is a rather smug, self-important man and, for at least half of the novel you can't tell if he is a reliable narrator or not. He is nonjudgmental as he discusses events. His main stated goal is to help Jenny.

This dark psychological thriller will slowly surround and ensnare you. There is more going on than it appears, and secrets are slowly revealed. Even after you think you have something figured out, trust me, you don't. You really won't know the whole story right until the end. All Is Not Forgotten required slow, careful reading. I was actually surprised it wasn't a longer novel when I noticed the number of pages. It is a page turner, but it is a dense, complicated novel too.

The writing is outstanding. Walker presents an intelligent plot that is carefully crafted to slowly release just enough information. The narration by Dr. Alan Forrester is pitch-perfect. He's egotistical, kind of creepy, and a didactic know-it-all. He's the professional with the inside information of each individual and he's the one who is going to slowly tell you what he wants you to know when he thinks it is time. By the end I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this dark thriller and its twists and turns.

Disclosure: My advanced reading copy was courtesy of the publisher for review purposes.

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