The Choices We Make

“The choices we make” is a huge winner and one of the most moving and emotional books I’ve ever read.

Kate and Hannah have been best friends since grade school. Both now married, their lives have taken different paths but their friendship hasn’t wavered and they have always been there for each other no matter what life throws at them.

But there is one area where they differ. While Kate very easily became pregnant and now had two daughters with her husband David, Hannah is unable to have what she wants the most in life; to be a mother.

I remember when my husband and I first decided to have children. I remember how devastated I was when it took us three months with our first. Only three months, but it felt heartbreaking. I can’t show more imagine that roller coaster for three years; to come so close so often and then have that dream yanked away. Karma Brown expertly tells a very real tale of an all consuming struggle of trying to achieve motherhood through many avenues without success. Going through Hannah’s disappointment and devastation was so emotional; there are a lot of Kleenex moments in this novel.

Then when it seems like the journey to parenthood will never be a reality for Hannah and Ben, Kate selflessly offers the most precious gift to Hannah. She will be a surrogate and carry a baby for Hannah and Ben using her eggs. How rare is it to find a friendship so exceptional that one would offer such a gift with no expectation or desire for anything in return. And after some misgivings about Kate’s crazy idea, it didn’t seem so crazy anymore and maybe it would be the answer.

But once all that was worked through, I started to cringe a little. We all want the happily ever after and it sounded like the perfect solution. But I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. While the execution itself was simple, there’s so much more involved. They signed contracts at the urge of the fertility clinic that they thought they’d never need. After all, they were the best of friends; everything would be fine and they’d figure it all out. Until things didn’t go quite as planned.

The book was narrated for the most part by Hannah and Kate so we heard the story by both and got the viewpoint of both friends. I did not want to put this book down, I was hooked from the beginning. And at times, I was so torn on what was right and I tried to put myself there and think about what I would do and how I would react. It wasn’t a matter of who was right and who was wrong; everyone was doing what they thought was right, fueled by emotion but what was best? And who can live with whatever decisions are made without being overcome by feelings of guilt? Would their friendships survive?

So many relationships were explored here other than just the friendship of Kate and Hannah. There were also issues of sisterly conflict, absent fathers, marital relationships in the background of this captivating story. When I was finished I just had to sit a while and absorb it all in, so powerfully emotional and had an ending I didn’t expect.

This is the first book I have read of Karma Brown, but definitely not my last. This is one of my favourites this year. show less

4.5 stars.

The Choices We Make by Karma Brown is an emotionally compelling and deeply poignant novel about friendship and motherhood.

Hannah and Ben Matthews have been dealing with infertility for six long years. With a series of failed procedures and heartbreaking miscarriages behind them, they are nonetheless stunned by the news that Hannah will most likely never sustain a pregnancy. Not ready to give up their dream of having a baby, Hannah suggests a surrogate but Ben would rather look into adoption. Much to their surprise, Hannah's best friend, Kate Cabot, volunteers to not only carry a baby for them but also use her eggs. Hannah and Ben eagerly accept her generous offer but their excitement over the impending birth is shattered by an show more unexpected tragedy.

Hannah is an extremely sympathetic character whose struggle with infertility is absolutely heartbreaking. Emotionally and physically exhausted by various treatments and negative pregnancy tests, it is still difficult for her to give up on having a child. While the quest for parenthood has taken a bit of a toll on her marriage, she and Ben still remain close and committed to becoming parents. However, she is vehemently opposed to adoption but she cannot bring herself to discuss her fears with Ben so she dismisses the option outright without fully explaining her reasons. Instead she continues researching surrogacy despite Ben's reluctance to go that route. Since she cannot discuss the topic with Ben, she turns to Kate for support. Kate tries to dissuade her from going any further with her plans but will Hannah's need for a baby lead her to make a decision she will come to regret?

Happily married to her paramedic husband David, Kate is a stay at home mom to their two daughters. The two couples are best of friends so she is absolutely shocked by David's initial reaction to her suggestion to become a surrogate for Hannah and Ben. She is even more surprised by Hannah's hesitance to consider using her as surrogate but once the Matthews are out of options, David reconsiders his decision. With David now completely on board, Kate once again offers to be their surrogate using her eggs and she is soon pregnant. While the pregnancy is mostly trouble free, there are a few unexpected hiccups that make both couples realize how fragile happiness can be.

Hannah's struggle to become pregnant is realistically portrayed. The emotional impact of her infertility is almost overwhelming as she is confronted by pregnant women and babies everywhere she turns. An unexpected pregnancy close to home is especially devastating and her happiness over the news is tempered by her envy. Although Ben never blames her for their childless state, Hannah carries a lot of guilt and shame over her inability to conceive. There is a bit of a disconnect between them since she is convinced their infertility affects her the most since she is the one who cannot get pregnant. Hannah is sometimes self-absorbed and she occasionally puts her needs and desires ahead of everyone else's. This is especially frustrating when tragedy strikes and while some of her actions and feelings are understandable, she is insensitive instead of supportive and some of her decisions are absolutely jaw-dropping and nearly impossible to comprehend.

The Choices We Make is a truly captivating novel that delves into emotionally fraught and morally subjective topics. Karma Brown presents these difficult issues with a great deal of sensitivity in a realistic and forthright manner. The characters are sympathetic and likable but when faced with a heart wrenching decision, a cherished friendship is nearly destroyed after sides are taken and harsh words are spoken. This touching story of friendship balances joy with sorrow as it culminates with an intensely emotional conclusion that will bring readers to tears. show less

What a powerful story! I should probably wait a day before writing the review.

Kate and Hannah have been best friends since forever. Kate is married to David. They have two daughters, Ava and Josie. Hannah is married to Ben. They have been trying to have children for over six years with no luck - just heartache after heartache.

I loved the friendship between Kate and Hannah. If we all had one friend like that, the world would be infinitely happier. I love the marriages they each had. They were not perfect, but they were sound. They had each other's backs. They could listen and forgive. Again, what a world this would be if we could all do that. I love that Ben and David became friends because of the women they married. I love that both show more women cared for their best friend's husband.

The focus of the book was really on the struggle for Hannah and Ben to have a child. The options they are willing to try. The ones they have ruled out but come back to — the ones they never even considered. The inside jacket says this, so I don't think it is a spoiler, but they also consider having Kate be a surrogate for Hannah and Ben. Could the four of them handle that? What if things go wrong?

The characters are so well developed and the story so intense - I just loved it! I will read more from Karma Brown to be sure! show less

Karma Brown’s “The Choices We Make” is a riveting story of two best friends – one with two kids filling out her family, and the other desperate to become a mother. Kate and Hannah had been best friends since the fifth grade with a relationship that was closer to family than mere friendship. Attached for nearly 3 decades, they were practically sisters. Hannah’s struggle to become a mother through in vitro and any medical treatments available was heartbreaking and as a true friend, Kate saw a way to help and offered to be her surrogate.

The choices we make at each and every junction of our lives affects the path our lives will take and the future decisions we will be faced with. In this story, neither family could have fathomed show more the direction their lives would go in when Hannah and her husband first got married.

Although starting the novel with a glimpse into the future, Karma Brown did an exceptional job of keeping readers (particularly me) on the edge of the seat unsure of what the outcome would be. The story bounces back and forth between chapters told from both Kate and Hannah’s perspectives, giving a clearer picture of how each character came to make the choices each made and how it affected everyone around them.

I do slightly wish that we could’ve heard from the husbands, David and Ben, and had a glimpse of their thoughts and feelings from their personal points of view, but this book was perfection. International bestselling author Karma Brown did an exceptional job of telling this story and letting it tell itself. I may not have picked this book up on my own, but I couldn’t put it down once it was in my hands. show less

The characters are so complex that they seem to be real people. Like most of Karma Browns characters I have a love hate relationship with them. The decisions they make incite my anger or empathy.

She also places her characters in difficult situations that invoke depth thought and visceral reactions. Would I carry my friends baby? Would I want my friend to carry my baby? What if something goes drastically wrong? Of course it does, otherwise we would not have a good story.

The novel lost a star because of the middle. The two female characters were so similar that I used the husbands to tell them apart. This was not a problem in the set up or the latter half of the book. Just the middle. It may have been purposely done. If so it went over show more my head. show less

This is another outstanding book by Karma Brown that will pull at your heartstrings while it introduces you several real characters in a story that could be happening right now anywhere in America. Once I started this book, I didn't put it down until I was finished because I had to know the outcome. I laughed and cried with the characters and they are still in my mind several days after the book was finished.

SUMMARY Hannah and Kate have been friends since fifth grade and years later they are still as close - or closer - than sisters. Kate is married and has two small daughters. Hannah and her husband have tried for years to have a baby and been unsuccessful and are about ready to give up when Kate offers to be a surrogate. This is the show more story of their friendship and what it means to have a family and to be a family. Read this book. You won't be disappointed.
(NetGalley provided a copy of this book for a fair and impartial review.) show less

This story really pulls you in from the start. As someone who has worked with women and having friends go through infertility I thought the descriptions and feelings were dead on. I wasn't too psyched about her description of adoption but I guess you can't have everything.

Karma Brown has written a very powerful, emotional book about friendship, love, and motherhood. This was a fast well written read, but grab your tissues because I was a mess at the end of this book. Very well done.