The Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A Woman's Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine

Best selling author (“The Secret Life of Bees”) Sue Monk Kidd was born into a conservative Christian family and married a conservative Christian minister. For years, she wrote inspirational Christian books. What, then, made her decide to step away from church teachings regarding the place of women and embark on a journey to find the sacred feminine?

Kidd had long been uncomfortable with how her gender was treated, both in society and in her church. Told repeatedly that woman was to serve man because Eve had tempted Adam into sin, she finally had enough when she went her young teen daughter’s work to pick her up, only to find the girl kneeling to stock the bottom shelf and hear one man say to another “That’s the way I like to show more see women- on their knees”. That started a journey of several years as she read, meditated, traveled and talked with other women as she tried to make sense of what was changing in her, spiritually.

Her reading took in both modern feminism and ancient texts. She found that in old Hebrew texts and the Old Testament there was a female deity as well as a male, but somewhere along the line she had disappeared. This, along with female deities from other cultures (Minoan Crete, ancient Greece, Native American), convinced her that there was a basis for a feminine spirituality. Eventually, she found that she could manage to hold both a deep feminine spirituality and to the Christian church.

Kidd writes of her journey step by step. It’s interesting and moving and her pain is palpable and there is an amazing amount of synchronicity, but after a certain point in the book the immediacy of her feelings seems to disappear. The narrative, for whatever reason, goes flat. It’s still useful and interesting, but it drags and a few parts felt like a chore to read- and read like they had been a chore to write. I’d recommend this book for any woman who is questioning the gendered aspects of modern religion as a beginning book. Even if they only read the first parts, it will head them in the right direction. show less

A wide-ranging journey of one traditional wife/mother/church lady realizing that her religion and lifestyle is something she can conform to no longer. She begins to understand the patriarchy of the church and how that plays out in her life and society as a whole and seeks to learn and change through research, reading, travel to sacred places, and conversations with people in her life, including those who disapprove of her new mindset. I like that she has a bibliography with sources for her info, and plan on reading some of those books, too. This is a book I have underlined, read parts of multiple times, and will definitely be keeping.

This may be nitpicky of me, but I don't like it that some of the rituals she devises are harmful to the show more environment. (burying random stuff outside, planting non native plants in the woods, picking plants in a garden (not her garden!) and leaving them on church steps. etc) show less

It takes courage to reveal your spiritual journey, and this author bravely gives you a moving account of hers. I went to see the author in person, and I expected an outgoing, outspoken feminist. Instead I met a seemingly shy, reticent, but very strong woman willing to share her struggles and help others discover the feminine side of god that our patriarchal religions have minimized or erased.

Lots of apt observations about the role of the patriarchy in Western religions, and many quotes and sources to ponder. But it really annoyed me that she writes not in a personal voice - her personal stories I did enjoy, but they were not the bulk of the text. Instead, much of the writing is very general, in an authoritative, professorial voice. "When a woman does x, she understands y." This necessarily follows that. It feels sanctimonious and presumptive. The perspective is also quite narrow, one of a white, middle-aged woman of means. Which would be fine if she used I statements throughout, rather than telling the reader "how it is."

Reading this book gave me an inside view on another woman going through so many of the same things I have been going through regarding feminism, spirituality and trying to define what I think it means to be feminine and/or masculine. I recommend it to anyone who wants to think about the feminine divine and where women find themselves, especially in the spiritual end of things. She focuses mainly on the Christian experience, since that is her background as a Christian inspirational writer. Her journeys take her to many different places, goddesses and religious viewpoints. I like her takes on what exactly feminism and patriarchy are. This was a particularly encouraging book to read. It's always nice when you feel like you've found someone show more who is very close to your own experience. Her writing style is all-encompassing while remaining informal and personal. One of my all time favorite books. show less

I read this book after reading Traveling With Pomegranates because I was curious about the author's thought processes as she went from the rather conventional wife of a Southern Baptist preacher who wrote for Guideposts magazine to discovering a fairly radical feminism and journeying to find the "divine feminine." At the beginning of this book she says that it was going into a drug store where her teenage daughter worked & and seeing her kneeling on the floor stocking the shelves, hearing two men saying ,"That's how I like to see a woman. On her knees." Kidd is truly shaken, and confronts the men saying. "You may like to see her and women on their knees, but we don't belong there." And thus begins her journey.

I have to admire her show more tenacity since I also live in the South and know the social pressure that can be put to bear on a woman who does not fit into societal norms. However, her deep dive into Jungian psychology and many of her pronouncements and actions just made me cringe. I felt like I was spending an inordinate time with a "converso" who just couldn't (or wouldn't) shut up about the subject.

I also think she is not going to be truly happy until she leaves traditional Christianity behind. She leaves the Southern Baptists (an oh DUH moment for anyone familiar with this strain of Christianity) for the much more liberal Episcopalian church, but I think her brand of theology will be, in the end, even too much for them. She is really more of a Deist and, I would think, be more comfortable with the Unitarians or maybe even the Ethical Culturalists.

In the end, the story I would really like to read is that of her husband who, as a result of his wife's qwest, also leaves the Southern Baptist and his theological teaching profession and becomes a psychologist. show less

This book was very different to the other (fiction) novels which I have read from the author, and makes a lot more sense now (although not surprised) to learn of Sue Monk Kidd's religious and spiritual journey.

I enjoyed her in depth reference to other feminist and women scholars bringing to full circle the importance of exploring Goddess Spirituality.

The concept of "feminine spirituality" was mentioned a lot and I started to question its concept. I have often referenced women circles which I belong as "women's spirituality" but have not gendered spirituality itself.

It was an interesting reaction to find in myself.

I truly enjoyed learning about Kidd's journey and that she has taken such honesty and care to share it with the rest of us. I show more also felt a little self-congratulatory since I am already familiar with Jean Shinola Boden, Starhawk and many of the names which she shared. I am sure that had I read this book 20 years ago that would not have been the case, and this book could have been the portal to an entirely different realm.

The book did allow me a way to re-examine christianity in my present understanding and practice. show less