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Description
With nearly 500,000 copies sold of his previous collections, Deep Thoughts and Deeper Thoughts, philosophizing funnyman Jack Handey (of Saturday Night Live) once again combines soul searching with rib tickling. He offers pearls of wisdom, inspiration and observation in an odd and utterly original manner.Tags
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Member Reviews
Utterly imbecilic and valueless to humanity.
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Author Information
12+ Works 1,485 Members
Series
Common Knowledge
- Canonical title
- Deepest Thoughts: So Deep They Squeak
- Original publication date
- 1994
- Dedication
- To Marta?
- First words
- I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate.
- Quotations
- What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk. And after you're real drunk, maybe go down to the public park and stagger around... (show all) and ask people for money, and then lay down and go to sleep.
If you're a cowboy, and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.
Can't the Marx Brothers be arrested and maybe even tortured for all the confusion and problems they've caused?
Somebody told me how frightening it was how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.
I remember one day I was at Grandpa's farm and I asked him about sex. He sort of smiled and said, "Maybe instead of telling you what sex is, why don't we go out to the horse pasture and I'll show you." So we did, and there on... (show all) the ground were my parents having sex.
When this girl at the museum asked me whom I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me.
Higher beings from outer space may not want to tell us the secrets of life, because we're not ready. But maybe they'll change their tune after a little torture.
As the snow started to fall, he tugged his coat tighter around himself. Too tight, as it turned out.
"This is the fourth coat crushing this year," said the police sergeant as he outlined the body wi... (show all)th a special pencil that writes on snow.
I'm telling you, just attach a big parachute to the plane itself! Is anyone listening to me?!
It's funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realized that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating.
I think a good scene in a movie would be where one scientist tells another scientist: "You know what will save the world? You're holding it in your hand." And the other scientist looks, and in his hand are some peanuts. Then,... (show all) when he looks up, the first scientist is being taken away to the insane asylum. - Last words
- (Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)Hey, where am I?
Classifications
- Genre
- Fiction and Literature
- DDC/MDS
- 818.5402 — Literature & rhetoric American literature in English American miscellaneous writings in English 20th Century 1945-1999
- LCC
- PN6162 .H266 — Language and Literature Literature (General) Literature (General) Collections of general literature Wit and humor By region or country
- BISAC
Statistics
- Members
- 186
- Popularity
- 174,210
- Reviews
- 1
- Rating
- (3.42)
- Languages
- English
- Media
- Paper
- ISBNs
- 1
- ASINs
- 1
