Scared Selfless: My Journey from Abuse and Madness to Surviving and Thriving

When I started this book I would have rated it as "Very Good" -- there is so much "Very Good" about it ... the tidbits of information that the author tells you about what it's like for a person dealing with abuse! I wanted to highlight all those paragraphs because they're so spot on and an excellent reminder for someone who has been abused -- "you're going to believe that it was all your fault AND IT WASN'T! It wasn't your fault!"

But then, towards the end, she thanks God for saving her life ... God did jack-shit for her all the years she was abused and never once sent her help or saved her but now, nearly 20 years later, she thanks God for getting her a job at a call center selling sex over the phone. Complete and total bullshit. (And show more clearly, since I was abused by a clergyman, a trigger for me.)

Adrianne show less

This book was difficult for me to get through at times and I would have to set it aside. Not because it was not an interesting story, quite the opposite but the abuse this poor person suffered was so horrendous it actually left me feeling sick. When the author was a young girl her mother decided to marry Garry Lindquist against her daughter's advice. Michelle knew there was something not right with Gary and how evil he was would soon be revealed to her. For six years he raped her, passed her around a pedophile ring, and forced her to be bound and filmed in children pornography. Aside from out right killing her I don't know how much worse he could have treated her. The whole time her mother turned a blind eye to her daughter's suffering. show more To cope with the abuse she endured Michelle developed multiple personalities and buried her memories into her subconscious. The last part of the book is about how she dealt with the past and finally healed emotionally from her child hood trauma.

I had so many thoughts about this book. First I am disgusted by the sheer number of men that want to have sex with children. It is one of the most disturbing things I can think of. What is wrong with these people? Thankfully attitudes have changed from the 70's when this kind of thing was not openly targeted by police. I don't think the perverts have stopped their sick pursuits of kids though. I live in the same state as Disney World and when central Florida does a sting you would be surprised by how many men into pedophilia work at Disney World.

My other thoughts about this book had to deal with the poor state of getting mental health in this country. Too many untrained and uncaring therapists are hanging up a shingle. It should not take seeing eight therapist to get real help for a victim of sexual trauma. First Michelle was made a victim by the men who raped her but the teachers in her school and eventually many of her therapists made the situation worse not better. People need to be able to get good mental health in this country and they should not be stigmatized for doing so.

Michelle, through years of hard work and several stints in a mental hospital, finally recovered enough to have a healthy loving relationship with her partner and child. I would have liked to hear more about what happened with her relationship with her mother and the fate of another of Gary's abuse victims who actually developed AIDS from what was done to her. I would like to report that Gary got what was coming to him in a court of law but life is not always neat and tidy like that. He did however get a sort of cosmic justice in the end. I hope there is peace for Michelle and all of his other victims. show less