What the Hell Did I Just Read

I always go ga-ga over these books, and for a really great reason. They're FUN AS HELL.

It bends all genres, has some of the absolutely most delicious wry comments and commentary on our modern f***ed-up life, and is consistently over-the-top when it comes to action, monster mashing, and total reality crushing.

Did I mention that this is to UF as Evil Dead is to Horror? It's not a bad comparison. But then, it's sure as hell not complete, either, because this stuff is in it's own league.

Think slacker/slasher fic that does the funniest Supernatural episodes but adds a bit of crack to it to make it even more addictive, then throw in a major course of Cthulhu, sexual innuendo, and Cracked Magazine, and then you're getting pretty close.

It's the show more same for all three of these books, and I'm proud to say that this third one is still very strong, indeed. No spoilers, but as it says in the series, John Dies at the End.

For those of you who don't know the books, he really does die, but it doesn't always stick thanks to the Soy Sauce. The time travel and alternate dimension hopping and a barrel of snakes that is potential girlfriends just makes things a bit complicated. You know, normal stuff.

All in a day's *unpaid* work.

Of course, that's not to say everyone has supernatural girlfriends, and Dave's Amy is a real trooper and a badass whom I really love. :)

Honestly, this is some of the most righteous laugh-out-loud OTT technocolor raunchy cool books out there. :) It's a self-conscious B-Movie that transcends into ultimate badassery. :) I am STILL totally recommending this series. :) :) show less

"It rained like we were a splatter of bird shit God was trying to hose off his deck." (pg. 11)

Right from its great opening line, David Wong's new instalment in the John Dies at the End series is a delight to read. It's been five years since we last heard from Wong's characters – though he did write a hit-and-miss YA-style novel a couple of years ago – and it was a joy to read it as though we had never been away, like meeting up with old friends and immediately finding yourselves back in your old grooves. What the Hell Did I Just Read? is not sophisticated in its humour, and it lacks some of the mind-bending cleverness of the two previous books, but the beloved characters and the fast pace of the plot went a long way in papering over show more the cracks.

Because there are cracks. And I'm not just talking about John's determination to deploy dozens of silicone butts in their monster-killing strategies. The story deserved a stronger ending (both the horror and the comedy wash out in the climactic action sequences) and there are a few minor plot-holes that can't be explained away by the twists and the unreliable narrators. I don't see what role the incessant rain played in the plot (aside from justifying that opening line, written as though by a frat-boy Raymond Chandler), nor why it stopped, and the concrete snowman had a great, subtle set-up that was wasted later on. But I think, perhaps, the joy at returning to the adventures of John and Dave for the first time since 2012 overrides any criticisms I could pose.

For the truth is that David Wong blends comedy and horror better than just about any other writer I've read, even though this third book was about 60-40 in favour of comedy over horror (the previous two had a more or less clean 50-50). He is legitimately funny and legitimately scary, sometimes even in the same sentence, and I love the concept of skewed perceptions and unreliable narrators (though I was disappointed that the book didn't play on this more towards the end, when our merry band of adventurers could have easily been cast as legitimate villains and hallucinating druggies. If the water isn't real…). I know what the hell I just read – a unique blend of the juvenile and the profound, the hilarious and the horrifying, the quick and the dead – and I can't wait for more.

"Ted said, "Let me get a weapon."
"A thing like this," I said, "probably cannot be killed with a gun."
"He's right," said John. "It will take several guns, at least. Can you dual wield?"" (pg. 45) show less

You know when you get so into a book that you have no idea how much time has passed and only snap back to reality once you have to pee? It’s like that.
This is the first trilogy in which I have given every single book 5 stars. I have still read nothing like it and enjoy these tales immensely. Every book had me gripped from start to finish, leaving me no choice but to binge read them. They are unique and hilarious and I found myself re-reading paragraphs for fun, hoping it would never end. I am looking forward to reading more of this author’s work, but I don’t know if this series can be beat!

I love that macabre humor from David Wong. I’ll always say this guy deserves more accolades and notoriety for the books he writes. There are so many books that are trying to be Victorian prose and stylistic word poems and post-modern literary realism and there’s nothing for the reader that just wants a good time. Just because something’s old doesn’t mean it has value. Don’t be The Exorcist, be The Evil Dead. Books should be fun, not homework.

That said, it’s the “least good” of the JDATE books. Maybe because there are several Deus ex moments that ruin the stakes. And some plot elements that don’t fit in, don’t make sense. It’s borderline bizarro fiction, so things that don’t make sense are par for the course (like show more a Santa Claus made of sausages). But when they affect the consequences or challenges of characters in the narrative, when they scoop them out of trouble, that’s where I have a problem. It’s cheap to say “I set this up while I was on a drug bender where I don’t remember anything, and now it shows up to save us.”

It’s not as erratic or short attention span as the first book, but also not as cohesive and linear as the second one. It’s a mix of the two. show less

I didn't know that this novel was part of a series. And it really didn't matter because I was able to follow along fine without having had read anything before this one. This was one of the most entertaining reads I have ever had the opportunity to read. It was an absolutely perfect mix of horror and comedy, that is both a mess and a genius work at the same time. I loved all of the characters and their unique narratives and perspectives. The story is honestly so wild and bizarre, which at first took me by surprise, but I began to really love that style. Random characters are introduced, random events happen, and since these events are told from multiple perspectives, you never really know if what you are reading is true or false. It show more makes your head spin but it also keeps you hooked! I am so glad I took my time with this book because it just allowed me to savor it so much longer! I would recommend this book to anyone who is looking for something unique, something dark and funny, and something that will drive you insane while also make you crave more! I am definitely going to go back and start the series from the beginning! 5/5 stars from me!

I received this novel as an advanced copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. show less

What the Hell Did I Just Read is the third installment in the hallucinatory John Dies in the End series by David Wong. For fans, that’s all they need to know.

Describing the plot of a John and David novel is an impossible task, but let me try. John and David are asked to help look for a kidnapped child, Maggie, who was kidnapped from a locked room in eerie circumstances that make it otherworldly, the John and David specialty. Toss in an Iraq War vet bent on revenge, a biker gang, the mysterious super-powered international organization, a BATMANTIS??, and a biblically-long rainstorm slowly inundating the town of Undisclosed, and you get an idea of maybe fifteen percent of the story.

What the Hell Did I Just Read is hilarifying. I know show more that is not a real word, but it should be because no other single word can describe this book. The strongest characteristic is its absurdist humor. It’s a madcap existential adventure with supernatural or otherworldly beasties.

I think David Wong’s books would be stronger if there were some ebb and flow, some shift in mood and pace. The headlong hilarification is tiring. I have to pace myself by reading other things because I can only take so much in one gulp. Nonetheless, I find myself laughing and appreciating the inventive story. I also love the incredible metaphors that you will never find anywhere else. The book opens with one so brilliant I think I read it twenty times before moving on to the second sentence. “It rained like we were a splatter of bird shit God was trying to hose off his deck.” Does it get better than that?

What the Hell Did I Just Read will be published on October 3rd. I received an advance e-galley from the publisher, St. Martin’s Press, through NetGalley.

https://tonstantweaderreviews.wordpress.com/2017/10/01/9781250040206/ show less

David Wong's writing gets better with every book, and this was by far my favorite of the John Dies at the End series so far (though I'm holding out for more). The biggest problem that I'd had with previous books was the abundance of slurs and other similar comments, and I'm glad to say that this one only had one slur, and it was not spoken by a main character but rather by an overly macho, gun-toting caricature of a character, from whom it felt fairly reasonable. Don't get me wrong, the humor was still crass in a lot of ways, but this time, all the ways were enjoyable. I particularly liked how this installment played around with reality and character's perceptions of it, as well as with the idea of unreliable narrators. I will say that, show more as with the last book, the final chapter does leave the entire story in question in a way that I perhaps could live without, but I choose to just take it in stride as part of the humor and not to let it ruin the experience of the rest of the story (though I wouldn't be surprised if it would annoy some people). show less