The Seven Imperfect Rules of Elvira Carr

"The Seven Imperfect Rules Of Elvira Carr" is one of the best books I've read this year and is the best book I've read about how neuroatypical people make a place for themselves in the world.

The main joy of this book is that Elvira Carr, Ellie to her friends, is a wonderful person. Not a saint. Not perfect. But someone who is fully engaged with her own life. She's curious, honest to a fault, wants to help others and is capable of great joy. I fell in love with her immediately.

Elvira knows she isn't the same as everyone else. Her mother has told her this time and time again as she grew up and there have been "incidents" that reinforce Elvira's mother's view that Elvera's "condition" means she's not equipped to deal with the world.

Only show more when her mother is hospitalised does Elvira discover, at the age of twenty-seven, that her "condition" has a name and that she is not alone.

Elvira is neuroatypical. This means she perceives and thinks about things differently than neurotypical people. As she uses the internet to connect to others like herself, Ellie comes to understand that her "condition" is not an illness. She's perfectly capable, not just of looking after herself but of contributing more widely to her community. She has a job at an animal sanctuary. She helps provide old people at the nursing home with contact with small animals who lift their spirits. She looks after her neighbour's young granddaughter.

Ellie's problems are caused by the often incomprehensible and contradictory expectations and behaviour of neurotypicals, some of whom she believes have the power to "send her away".

To help navigate the strange ways of the neurotypicals and to prevent her freedom to live an independent life being taken away from her, Elvira with the help of her neighbour develops seven rules. She writes the rules on a spreadsheet and then tests them against her experience, ticking boxes when she uses them, adding examples, guidelines and acceptance criteria to make these imperfect rules work better.

By telling the story entirely from Elivira's point of view, the author has produced something that is neither a saccharine cliché nor a disturbing freakshow. The thing is that Elvira is much nicer than most people you'll meet. She has no malice. She's always honest. She gets angry and afraid, especially when she makes mistakes and misreads the neurotypicals, with there attachment to figures of speech and their habit or saying one thing and meaning another. She's also capable of joy so overwhelming that, when she's alone and neurotypicals can't see and send her away, she has to run around the room with her arms out to let it flow through her.

Ellie faces a series of challenges in the book: her mother's incapacity, a mystery around her dead father and his frequent trips to Japan, conflicts with members of her neighbour's family, predatory males and lots and lots of NEW things that create stress.

Ellie's struggles and her limitations are ones we can all empathise with and perhaps share to some degree which means that her triumphs make us happy.

I found myself wondering how neurotypical I was and whether there was really any such thing. Putting the labels aside, I found myself wishing that I could meet Elvira and hoping that I would overcome some of my neurotypical habits for long enough really to see her.

"The Seven Imperfect Rules of Elvira Carr" is beautifully written and perfectly narrated. I strongly recommend listening to the audiobook version. Click on the SoundCloud link below to hear Charlie Sanderson bring Elvira to life.

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27 year old Elvira Carr, lives a very sheltered with her overbearing mother; due to Elvira’s ‘condition’ (Autism, although this is never specified), her mother does not allow Elvira out on her own, other than to the local Asda, and relationships with other people are non-existent, as Elvira takes people at face value and believes what they say to be absolutely literal. Consequently her life revolves around her beloved Mills and Boon novels, and eating, learning about and collecting packets from various types of biscuits.

However, when her mother has a stroke and has to live in a care home, Elvira is forced to look after herself and engage with the world. With the help of a neighbour, she compiles a list of seven rules to help her show more navigate a scary world she learns that while some people are kind and willing to help, others can be cruel and ready to take advantage.

She also finds out secrets about her past which her mother had kept hidden – I don’t want to say more on this aspect as it is a fairly important part of the plot, so I am wary of revealing spoilers.

I enjoyed the book a lot. I think comparisons with Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine are inevitable. Both are about young women who have domineering mothers, and who have trouble fitting into society. So there are some basic similarities. Both both Eleanor and Elvira are very much their own people. I really enjoyed reading about Elvira, and as it is written in the first person, I felt that I got to know her well. There are moments of humour in the book but also some very poignant parts. I would definitely recommend this novel and will look out for more by Frances Maynard. show less

Strangely moving, simple story about a woman on the autism spectrum (never called that, only later in the novel her Condition) whose mother has a stroke. In fending for herself, she makes a list of rules for behaving in what she eventually discovers is called the NormalTypical world. But since it's told completely from her point of view, it comes out as a charming story, and the reader really understands how she thinks about things. Despite a few glitches, this narration is consistent and reliable, and makes it a book worth reading.

The Seven Rules of Elvira Carr by Frances Maynard is a very highly recommended look into the life of a twenty-seven year-old neuro-atypical woman.

Elvira Carr lives a very restricted life with her authoritarian, overbearing mother. She does tasks for her mother in their home and she goes to the store. Elvira follows the rules. She enjoys biscuits, has amassed a lot of information about each kind, and collects the packages. She also takes what people say at face value, which can be troubling.

When her mother has a stroke and Elvira is suddenly on her own, she knows she needs to make sure she is adapting and fitting into a world she has little experience navigating through. She sets up a meal schedule. She keeps the house clean. Her show more neighbor Sylvia helps her follow the bus schedule to visit her mom and expand her understanding of the world. When she takes a computer class and actually buys a computer, Elvira discovers that there are groups online of people just like her who find ways to fit into the world of Normal-typical people.

This is when Elvira writes her list of seven rules that will help her move around the world without getting into trouble and perhaps even have her differences go unnoticed. Sylvia helps refine and explain areas Elvira questions. The rules help Elvira understand the world and some of the troubling questions she has about her life with her mother and father.

The seven rules are:
Rule 1: Being Polite and Respectful is always a Good Idea. Rule 2: If you Look or Sound Different, you won’t Fit In. Rule 3: Conversation doesn’t just Exchange Facts - it Conveys how you’re Feeling. Rule 4: You learn by making Mistakes. Rule 5: Not Everyone who is Nice to me is my Friend. Rule 6: It’s better to be too Diplomatic than too Honest. Rule 7: Rules change depending on the Situation and the Person you are speaking to.

The writing is quite good. The narrative has Elvira experiencing a number of challenging incidents and her reactions are realistic and sometimes heartbreaking. Elvira will have your full support and devotion as she works out a way to live among the normal-typical people and their figures of speech that can be so troubling and difficult to understand. The only minor quibble I had with it was the convenience in the plot that her mother was wealthy enough to have a trust fund set up for Elvira so she could stay in her home. It worked for a heartwarming fictional story, but was a tab-bit too fortunate and opportune in the real world.

This is a wonderful, touching, and charming, novel about a young woman, likely on the Autism spectrum (although it is never specified), and how she figures out a way to cope in the real world of normal-typical people. You can tell that author Maynard works with adults with learning disabilities as she handles her character with an insight and compassion that sets this book apart from many others. It can be favorably compared to The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time and Be Frank With Me. The Seven Rules of Elvira Carr would be an excellent choice for a book club.

Disclosure: My review copy was courtesy of Sourcebooks.
http://www.shetreadssoftly.com/2017/07/the-seven-rules-of-elvira-carr.html
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2055690357 show less

It took me a bit to get into this book. At first I found it a little slow and didn't really connect with the characters. However, as the story progressed and Elvira's life changed it did improve. Many of the characters were quite well written, although I did feel that the neighbours were a little charactacturistic (is that a word?). The reactions to Elvira I can understand, and it was interesting to read about the condition from the sufferer's point of view.

I haven't read Eleanor Oliphant...not sure whether I will based on this book. However, it is book 10 out of 12 from the library and it is one I wouldn't have picked to read otherwise.

I came across this title in an article I read discussing the genre called "UpLit" (Uplifting Literature), which doesn't have a specific definition, but tends to refer to books that have characters who struggle with complex issues, but ultimately find hope or redemption at the end of the book. These are the kinds of stories that I'm drawn to lately, probably because there is so much that's not hopeful in our world right now.

The Seven Rules of Elvira Carr by Frances Maynard has similarities to Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman, The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion, and The Girl He Used to Know by Tracey Garvis Graves, in that the main character is neuro-atypical. In these stories, the reader experiences the main show more characters' issues as they navigate through an often confusing world, where figures of speech and jokes make no sense, and change is hard.

Elvira, or Evvie, is an adult woman who lives with her overbearing mother and misses her deceased father whom her mother disparages on a daily basis for things Evvie cannot understand. When her mother suffers a stroke or "Her Lost Capacity," Evvie has to figure out the world on her own for the first time with the help of a neighbor and others characters who gradually fill her life with something like joy. The title comes from 7 Rules that Elvira writes down to help her figure life out.

There are some mysteries about her father that Evvie tries to unravel, and the reader will probably figure out some of them before the main character does. However, reading about this unique young woman as she attempts to understand her world was enlightening to me as a reader. The author states in her notes that she has experience working with people on the Autism spectrum, and this is apparent in her care and insight as she writes. The book is a little longer than it needs to be, but I was satisfied as a reader when I turned the last page, and was left with the feeling of hope that I'm looking for in this type of book. show less

1: Being Polite and Respectful is always a Good Idea.
2: If you Look or Sound Different, you won’t Fit In.
3: Conversation doesn’t just Exchange Facts - it Conveys how you’re Feeling.
4: You learn by making Mistakes.
5: Not Everyone who is Nice to me is my Friend.
6: It’s better to be too Diplomatic than too Honest.
7: Rules change depending on the Situation and the Person you are speaking to.

These are the understandings that Elvira, 27, British, and somewhere on the autism spectrum, writes out when her protective but domineering mother has a stroke and is hospitalized and Elvira has to learn to live without her mother. This is an inspiring book in which Frances Maynard tells her story in a sensitive but believable and show more real-life, hard-knocks sort of way.
Some people take advantage, abuse, trick, and cheat Elvira, but others aid, mentor, care for her. Over the next several months, It's not easy for her, but Elvira makes lists and schedules, learns to deal with money, volunteers at a wild animal shelter, learns unsettling information about her parents, and manages to live on her own.
With the help of a neighbor, she writes out her important list - seven rules, her understanding of some of the unwritten rules of getting along with friends and strangers. show less