To Throw Away Unopened: A Memoir

By her own admission, former punk rocker Viv Albertine played the chatty, entertaining "buffoon" in her dysfunctional family of origin. For the first half of this memoir, which picks up where her earlier Clothes, Clothes, Clothes, Music, Music, Music, Boys, Boys, Boys (which I haven't read) leaves off, she continues this role. Whether she is delivering frank talk about bodily functions or fighting with her sister at her mother's deathbed, Albertine comes across as an honest, earthy, and outsized personality. The second half of the narrative is rougher going, as Albertine excerpts and comments on the diaries both of her parents kept during their acrimonious divorce. This book is not for everyone, but those who stick with it will find show more many unvarnished truths about the nature of sisterhood and parent-child relationships. show less

This was interesting—much darker than her last, which had a basically positive message (about re-creating yourself artistically and personally as a middle-aged woman). This starts out full of righteous female anger, very much of its time—not #metoo so much as #allofus. But the second half gets heavy. Albertine has the opportunity to read both her parents' diaries after their deaths, chronicling their angry and abusive relationship before their divorce—a chance most of us should feel fortunate we don't get. Albertine progresses through and processes several layers of realization as she reads, especially when it comes to her mother—the central figure in her life besides her daughter—who was always a source of strength but, as show more Albertine comes to understand, a wellspring of great dysfunction, and for good reason. This kind of Rashomon-on-the-couch could be oppressive, but Albertine's voice is so great—profane, funny, literate, and self-deprecating—it elevates the book into an interesting study of what happens when we uncover family secrets, and how to consider them in light of being a fully-formed (or as much as anyone can ever be, which is actually a parallel theme) adult. Not a light read, but interesting and—I'm guessing for many—relatable. show less

In this astonishingly intimate memoir, the author talks frankly about her abusive upbringing, the wringer of her parents' divorce, and the catastrophic scene over her mother's death bed. I was overwhelmed with admiration for the author's willingness to share her most private moments, even when they did not cast her in the best light. This honesty was so endearing that I became quite protective of this book, hesitating to lend it to friends who might judge it harshly.

The main thrust of this book is the story of a mother's death and the way secrets can be revealed by going through a loved one's things. After her father's death, Viv read his diary detailing the events of his divorce. After her mother's death, she found a similar diary show more written by her mother. Between the two diaries, she tries to piece together what really happened in their family and how it has affected her and her sister throughout their lives. What has been the generational consequences of her mother's abusive marriage and is there anyway to heal and forgive after such cruelty.

A beautiful, juicy, cringe-inducing, familiar, and homey memoir about loving family and self. show less

A wonderful voice: humble, humourous, contentious, thoughtful. Albertine is unpretentiously aware and attentive to our urban and everyday objects, our very real world. Her story is gradually unrolled, assembled from memory, the barely preserved records from her parents’ divorce, and a recent kerfuffle at her mother’s deathbed. The disadvantages and low-expectations that trammelled women, our mothers’ generation and beyond, including the expectation to be “nice” are roundly disdained, confronted at every opportunity by the author’s feisty approach. (Of course: see punk, Skids, etc). That challenging disposition is a huge part of Albertine’s style, but her telling never becomes wearing. What could have become a harangue is show more always tempered by her humour and humanity. show less

I'd just finished Viv Albertine's first book (released several years prior) when I won her second one from the Library Thing's Early Reviewer program. I love memoirs, and neither of these disappoint! Viv Albertine is formerly of 'The Slits'- a band I'd heard of, vaguely. I wasn't a part of the punk scene, though I admired the confrontational attitudes. I had a queasy reaction to the spitting and cutting, so I guess it was a hygiene issue. Looking back, I wish I wasn't such a wuss that way.

To Throw Away Unopened is such an honest account of her personal family dynamics, it's flat-out brave. We are so inundated with 'perfect family' visuals, ads, holidays, tv shows, movies....and in so many cases it's such drivel! Most families are show more flawed, many relationships- siblings, parents, even extended family are violent, inoperable, mean-spirited, etc. but there is so much shame in the truth about our curated, Insta-Facebook 'stories'. I wish Viv Albertine was actually my friend- her honesty is refreshing. I don't envy her reading her mother and father's 'divorce' diaries-as they were written to log grievances in a court of law, and my heart bled over David (no spoilers) Of all the things in this book I wanted his story to be one of redemption.I'm still thinking about him, about how he must have felt.

Again- I love reading memoirs, and I could easily have read another in Viv Albertine's words, if one was available. It didn't hurt that most of the books she quoted from, I have on my shelf and in my head. That's a pretty serious bond, if I may say so! show less

I had no idea who the author was before reading this book; now I have to go find her previous book. This was an amazing autobiography, told in a non-chronological order that took me a little while to figure out for structure, incredibly honest throughout. Where does the truth lie? How are perceptions of family when young not the complete picture? It's extreme in the author's case, the differences, but a reminder to the reader that things are not likely to be exactly as they're remembered in their own lives, either. And despite whatever missteps she may have taken in her life, I think the author has succeeded in her original goal of having an interesting life, not depending on others to provide that, which I admire, despite the costs.

While Albertine's previous book (Which I Loved) was growing up in London, the origins of punk, the Slits, rah-rah female empowerment and fighting for your dream, this is a much more contemplative and darker look at getting older. After their deaths, Albertine has the chance to read both her parents journals (because they were in a custody battle in the 1960s, the courts encouraged both parents to keep track of what was happening in the home) and the contents are truly chilling, leaving her with more questions than answers. The fact is though that Albertine has the chops as a writer and a person to not only dig deep and present as honest a viewpoint as she can but to make it interesting to the reader. I found this extraordinarily painful show more reading but can highly recommend it all the same.

Plus the best/worst death bed nursing home hospital family fight EVER.

Viv, if you are reading this, I'll take you out for a cuppa and a scone anytime

Thank you Library Thing for sending me this as part of the Early Reviewers program. show less