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The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to… (2013)

by Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga

Other authors: See the other authors section.

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6182333,462 (3.72)1
A single book can change your life. Already an enormous bestseller in Asia, with more than 3 million copies sold, The Courage to be Disliked demonstrates how to unlock the power within yourself to be the person you truly want to be. Using the theories of Alfred Adler, one of the three giants of 19th century psychology alongside Freud and Jung, it follows an illuminating conversation between a philosopher and a young man. The philosopher explains to his pupil how each of us is able to determine our own lives, free of the shackles of past experiences, doubts and the expectations of others. It's a way of thinking that's deeply liberating, allowing us to develop the courage to change, and to ignore the limitations that we and those around us can place on ourselves. The result is a book that is both highly accessible and profound in its importance. Millions have already read and benefited from its wisdom. Now that The Courage to be Disliked has been published for the first time in English, so can you.… (more)
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English (22)  Spanish (1)  All languages (23)
Showing 1-5 of 22 (next | show all)
i finally figured out why i disliked this book enough to give it a 2 star rating despite not saying anything i deem exactly wrong or harmful: it suffers from the enlightened complex where their solution to your instability is to never introspect and fix your value. check out “critique of cynical reason” and you’ll see how this tone seems condescending because it embodies cynical reasoning. if you dislike this book, you likely dislike strategies that reduce your depth for the sake of being functional aka the modem survivalist non-humorous cynic ( )
  womanwoanswers | Dec 23, 2022 |
Some notes
- Seperate tasks, mind your business and don't interfere with other peoples' tasks.
- Create horizontal relationship, not vertical. We are equal, just different.
- Live fully in the moment.
- Encourage, not rebuke or praise.
- Don't seek recognition. Don't be afraid to be disliked by someone.
- Learn to say No.
- You can make use of your environment, can assign meaning to life if you want because life has no meaning.
- In social context only that one becomes an individual.
- Accept who you are, have confidence in others. ( )
  oceaninmypocket | Nov 29, 2022 |
Written in the stilted "dialogue" meant to emulate Plato, long passages of this book felt interminable as the wise teacher batted aside straw men of ego, fame and honor. Still, the underlying idea that our freedom to be ourselves lies in our ability to seek our value through duty to others while also accepting that we can not work to please others is a compelling one for me.
I'd say skip this short book unless they come out with an abridged version. ( )
  jscape2000 | Jul 29, 2022 |
I almost put this book down after the first few chapters. The author's didactic presentation style was difficult to adapt to but that alone wasn't enough to turn me away. The almost-final straw was what I perceived to be the incessant victim blaming. For example, if the hypothetical student has a problem, the answer almost always is "you're choosing to have this problem."

But now that I've read the entirety of The Courage to Be Disliked, and consider it one of the most important books I've read this year, I can look back at my original objection and see the author was trying to make a difficult point as quickly as possible, like ripping off a band-aid, to condition the reader for some tough-love to come. The point of the early chapters is to realize that *most* problems are problems of choice and once you internalize that, then you can get to really good stuff.

Adlerian Psychology—this is the 'Japanese Phenomenon' from the title—feels like a religion. Honestly, I think that's more of a Japanese/American translation issue than anything else, but ultimately, it's beside the point. There are arguments and scientific backing for this branch of psychology which separates it from religion, but if this book is your main or only exposure to it, then it's going to come down to your gut feeling (aka belief/religion). My take is that's okay. Use the ideas or reject them. Let the results of how one manages the near-impossible task of changing one's life speak for themselves. ( )
  Daniel.Estes | Jul 13, 2022 |
This is an interesting book and throws up many challenges to our way of thinking. It addresses our self-concepts and asks us to reassess the way we go about our lives.

I am not familiar with Adlerian philosophy, so I must take the author's word and interpretation.

He used the Platonic tool, of a dialogue, effectively.

The book started well, but as it progressed, I felt that much of the material was tautological. This diminished the value I would have otherwise gotten from the book. ( )
  RajivC | Mar 27, 2022 |
Showing 1-5 of 22 (next | show all)
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» Add other authors (24 possible)

Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
Ichiro Kishimiprimary authorall editionscalculated
Koga, Fumitakemain authorall editionsconfirmed
Graßtat, RenateÜbersetzersecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
LaVoy, JanuaryNarratorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
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A single book can change your life. Already an enormous bestseller in Asia, with more than 3 million copies sold, The Courage to be Disliked demonstrates how to unlock the power within yourself to be the person you truly want to be. Using the theories of Alfred Adler, one of the three giants of 19th century psychology alongside Freud and Jung, it follows an illuminating conversation between a philosopher and a young man. The philosopher explains to his pupil how each of us is able to determine our own lives, free of the shackles of past experiences, doubts and the expectations of others. It's a way of thinking that's deeply liberating, allowing us to develop the courage to change, and to ignore the limitations that we and those around us can place on ourselves. The result is a book that is both highly accessible and profound in its importance. Millions have already read and benefited from its wisdom. Now that The Courage to be Disliked has been published for the first time in English, so can you.

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