Uncomfortable Labels

Uncomfortable Labels : My Life As A Gay Autistic Trans Woman
by Laura Kate Dale
due 7-1-2019
Jessica Kingsley Publishing, UK
5.0 / 5.0

I was so deeply touched by this memoir of growing up as a trans, autistic and gay person in the UK. I was completely blown away by Laura´s honesty and integrity, by her memories and experiences, some so emotionally and psychically hurtful. Many times intentionally hurtful. To get beyond it and to have become the beautiful and inspiring woman and soul she is, is beyond inspiration for me. There are no words.
Laura Kate Dale is proof that we do not have to wear the labels people/family/religion/society give us. We can get beyond the veneer of others stereotypes and become comfortable with ourselves-our own show more brand. We can become comfortable, functioning and successful beyond branding.
Laura shares her very personal life experiences, conflicts and growth:
*From ignoring the early signs of Aspergers, to fully embracing and learning to live with the super sensitivity she has for light, sound, noise, texture and touch.
*Being the weird kid everyone bullied and took advantage of; being sexually abused with few people to talk to or share her feelings of loneliness and rejection; feelings of depression and suicide from a society quick to marginalize anything different, marginalize them with stereotypes and treat them as less worthy, to becoming a successful author and advocate for those that were also disrespected for daring to be who they are. 50% of Trans and 35% of people with Aspergers commit suicide.
*Transitioning into Laura- and being able to live and work under the name Laura, having a successful career and finding love. She always felt trapped between 2 choices:live with the pain of not ever transitioning.....or, transition and live a miserable life. Now in her late 20ś, she has not attempted suicide in 5 years, is engaged to a loving partner and able to support herself. Life is not miserable, in fact, it got better!

This is a wonderful and very personal memoir, shedding much information and passion on the conflicts of transitioning from a male to a female. It is also one of the best and most intimate sharings of learning to live with Autism Spectrum I have read. Its influence on her childhood- her teen years-adult relationships and day to day life are told with openness and candor; I felt involved in her life and this book helped me to understand so much more about living with Autism Spectrum. Things many of us think nothing of or take for granted....like going to see a movie at a theatre.....going out to eat....hanging out in public places or crowds....even clothes shopping......these all took meticulous and careful planning for Laura to do, as she learned to deal with her stimming and sensitivities. They are trying something new in the UK to help those with anxiety or autism. In public shopping areas, they are putting rooms of respite, that are subdued, quiet and a comfortable space that anyone can use to help calm and de-escalate, if needed. What a wonderful idea. I hope it is something the US will notice and incorporate.

This memoir will take you inside the emotions, spirit and life of a Trans person- a gay person- people on the autism spectrum, with intelligence, grace, respect and complete honesty. I learned so much and felt so much. Learning how others live and feel is the first step toward a more respectful and inclusive world, where there is no division, just differences. It taught me that how we approach things, either to judge them, or to learn from them importance of respect and dignity, is telling about all of us.It also taught me the importance of reaching beyond yourself to realize just how human we all are.
Enriching, important life lessons. Essential reading.
Thank you to Jessica Kingsley and Laura Kate Dean for this e-book ARC for an honest and fair review.
#netgalley #UncomfortableLabels show less

A quick read that I wish had been around a decade ago. Understanding the convergence of autistic, queer, and trans experiences has been invaluable for me this year, and has helped me come to understand and accept a part of myself I never expected to meet so far down the road of my transition. It does feel like a lot of the writing is *for* trans people aimed *at* cis people, if that makes any sense, but not in a bad way. It just makes me consider how much I wish our writers and artists weren't always having to explain, justify, or entertain with our existence to cis people.

Getting away from the point - if you've been asking as a queer or trans person about yourself, your experiences, and why they seem and feel so different from the show more world around you, and whether or not you may be neurodivergent, please give it a spin. The same if you just want to learn more, or support someone in your life. show less

See full review at https://booksbeyondbinaries.blog/2019/04/29/unconventional-2019-trans-lit-titles...

Included in a blog post and resource list at https://booksbeyondbinaries.blog/2019/06/10/non-fiction-about-gender-and-trans-e...