By Myself and Then Some

Lauren Bacall was a wonderful human. Her talent is undeniable as an actress, wife, mother, activist, caretaker, thinker, protector, helper, writer. While she’s now primarily remembered for her work as an actress, I was surprised at how personable and well-written By Myself and Then Some is. It reads like a Jewish grandmother sitting and telling you about her life. Wonderful.

Death fills the latter half of this book. The highs are high, but the lows are so deep. Bacall lived long enough to see many of her friends and family die, and it has a sobering effect. She mentions at the end of the book that you don't think about death when you're young. She's right. I don't. Maybe things change once you experience the first death of someone close show more to you. Maybe you see the world differently. Maybe that's what it takes. It seems she did.

Perhaps because of this, the pathos that Bacall views all people comes through. Her thoughts and opinions come through, but they’re always tempered with either her inherent understanding of others or the perspective of years. Maybe both. In her descriptions of her own life, she pulls no punches as far as I can tell, acknowledging her mistakes, but at the same time, owning them. She had affairs with married men, notably with Humphrey Bogart (in a few short months, her husband), and concedes that was not an ideal situation. But when two people meet and better each other in such a passionate way, surely that’s something to not throw away? So her life goes. I highly recommend it.

What I would have underlined if this wasn't a library book.

-It wasn’t good enough, I thought, to have someone crazy about you if you felt nothing.

- Each time I was in love - this was it. The hunger to belong. Imagination is the highest kite that can fly.

- It was hard growing up. (It’s still hard.)

- Was all life to be proving yourself over and over?

- I could tell him anything - dream my dreams aloud and he wouldn’t laugh…

- My name would be on everyone’s lips, my words would be immortal - what was I to do with the me that was buried below all that, with the me I was stuck with, that was real?

- There was no way Bogie and I could be in the same room without reaching for each other, and it wasn’t just physical. Physical was very strong, but it was everything-heads, beards, bodies, everything going at the same time.

- No one has ever written a romance better than we lived it.

- I don’t know how I did it, except that when you’re twenty, it never occurs to you that you can’t.

- It was as though my brain shifted gears when I saw him – I reactivated the better part of it.

- It takes so long to understand things, so much time wasted.

- I’d become attached… to London. I wished I had a proper reason to stay there – once you’ve lived in that city, it’s a hard place to leave.

- Why can’t we be better than we are? Why can’t we enrich our lives with appreciation of the arts, with books? Why can’t that all be at least as important as making money, having a bigger house, a newer car? …why don’t we take the time to see what is around us - the earth, the sea, the sky? show less

Really a 3.5

I enjoyed listening to the audio book version of this book. Being narrated by Bacall herself, it felt more like I was enjoying a conversation with her instead of listening to someone brag about their life. It was amazing to get an inside look at her relationship to Humphrey Bogart (their relationship one of my favorite in Hollywood), was a lovely treat. Her thoughts and reflections on her own life and how things have changed were interesting and felt even more relevant now as well as 2004. The audiobook I listened to was the 25th anniversary of the original printing.

The only thing that made me knock stars off is in the update section, it felt Bacall dragged on and on about the people she had started to loose in her life. I show more understand it was a huge thing for her but she kept going on about how she's not the type to dwell on the past but it felt like there was a lot of dwelling happening.

It was nice for me to get to know Bacall outside of her Hollywood movies. I did not know she did so much theater work and her descriptions of some of her later films makes me want to go out and watch them.

All in all, this wasn't a bad memoir. I learned so much about the woman Bacall was and the wonderful life she led. It was wonderful to hear her voice again after her passing. The whole time I just wanted her to reach out and hug me. The reading she gave made it feel so intimate. show less

I'm not sure what I was expecting, but the eulogistic structure of the latter half of the book was a little unfortunate. I wish we had a little more on LB's feelings and personal life, especially post-Bogie, and a little less on her later projects and deceased friends (I liked hearing about them, but less so when framed so sadly).

In any case, a great lady. The old lady in me agrees with her that something is shitty about the world that didn't used to be so shitty.

Now and then I read a bio of a celebrity I have admired over the years. Few are as intelligent and interesting as this lady certainly was. I think part of reading and enjoying any celebrity bio is a connection of generation shared. Having grown up with the images of Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart on screen and in print, I felt I almost knew her already. Silly I know, but reading the book only reinforced that. Parts of her life are certainly interesting for the lack of judgement she truly had at her very young years, including her relationship with Bogart initially. But on the whole, her life worked out well and her wit and erudition are ably demonstrated in her reflections on the times, the politics and the people she knew. She was show more not educated on the college level, yet had a native intelligence and skill with the language that was more evident than in many people who were. Truly a person I still hold as a role model for women. Her later life at the Dakota over the years is also interesting, as I have read other books which include the Dakota, and having lived in NYC, that is another topic of interest. It is hard to say how much I liked Bacall's life story. Touching, interesting and poignant. The writing is far above the average biography of a Hollywood figure. show less

I feel really mean giving only 2 stars so have another 3/4. I enjoyed the beginning best and got a bit bored in the middle and by the end found myself skipping over pages. I picked up the book to spend some time with a lovely bright women - and she really is that - a wonderful person to spend time with, even if only via the printed word. Perhaps just too long for me - or perhaps most of the book is about people who I just don't connect with - she tells us what was going on, but does not fire my imagination to care myself about any of them except the family she came from. Enjoyed those parts the best.

Great bio! Learned a lot about the famous Bogie and Bacall relationship. That was the best part. Slowed down a little after that but was still good. Has some pictures throughout the book, which I always think is a great addition to any biography. Definitely pick this up if you are a fan of Bogart, Bacall or old Hollywood in general.

I feel really mean giving only 2 stars so have another 3/4. I enjoyed the beginning best and got a bit bored in the middle and by the end found myself skipping over pages. I picked up the book to spend some time with a lovely bright women - and she really is that - a wonderful person to spend time with, even if only via the printed word. Perhaps just too long for me - or perhaps most of the book is about people who I just don't connect with - she tells us what was going on, but does not fire my imagination to care myself about any of them except the family she came from. Enjoyed those parts the best.