Summer Song

Here, we have the Modern Woman: uninterested in family, hateful towards men, and runs her own business successfully -- crikey, she might even be one of those feminists! Anyway. She is full of pain (raised in unhappy foster homes) and decides to have a baby. Someone to love her unconditionally. Cause the one true thing about babies is that they're never gonna grow up and talk back, amirite?
So. But this Modern Woman really doesn't want to deal with penises (icky, right?). I mean, she's a 35-year-old virgin. Her penis aversion is an idee fixe.

She gets a lawyer, sets up a contract, seeks out a sperm donor ... and is immediately confronted with the brother of her chosen donor. He's All Man. He's got broad shoulders, muscled chest, and a show more sense of familial honor deep as a well ... and when she loses an earring, he picks her up by the waist to get at it. Cause a simple "excuse me" doesn't suffice for Real Men. Ohno.

The Woman and the Man get into an argument (in her hotel room, with the door shut) over the Woman's procreational decision. He holds her against his rugged body to prove some point. She feigns weakness; he relaxes his manly vise-like grip of manliness; she flees.

And this sort of bizarre, abusive, machismo behavior from a total stranger is an awesome basis for a relationship, because when he FOLLOWS HER HOME and COMES INTO HER HOUSE, she's not repulsed/terrified; instead, she thinks "what a father he would be for my child!"

And when the Man insists that it's him or no one at all -- and that he will impregnate her the natural way, via his manly penis -- she agrees without a fuss. (Curiously, after thirty-five years of straightlaced virginity, her hymen goes the same way.)

And she ends up pregnant (of course) and they end up in love (of course) and he ends up even more of a psychotic, raving misogynist -- there's something about him tricking a mutual friend to find her again after she dumps his stupid ass, and then he gets a lawyer to break the contract he signed -- and then he wants to control "the important bits" of her business-- and oh my fucking god, I can't even describe it. There are no words.

(4-12 to 4-14 or something like that) show less