Made in China: A Memoir of Love and Labor

really difficult, emotionally wrenching memoir about narcissistic abuse, immigration and the American dream.The main thrust of the book is her fraught relationship with her mother, who saw her as someone made only for use, not for love. Qu writes with real energy her attempts to win her mother's love, attempts which always ended in failure and disappointment. Anna's grief is so raw and so unfinished, but her growth and gains are so moving and hard-won. It's an incredible and unforgettable memoir.

I was a ghost haunting a family that wanted nothing to do with me, and the loneliness left a tightness in my chest.~from Made in China by Anna Qu

One thing I have learned in my reading is that trauma is passed through generations. Grandparents and parents do not share what haunts them, the terrors they saw or the hardships they endured. But it changes who they are, their behavior, and how they raise the next generation.

Anna Qu's mother insisted that the world was a hard, unfair place and not to expect anything from life. Qu was expected to earn every bite of food, the roof over her head and a bed in the basement. In her early teens, she worked in the family sweat shop fifty hours a week and then acted as the family maid at home.

When Qu's show more father died, her mother knew she could not remarry in a China with a one child law; she already had one child and no man would want her. So, she immigrated to America and found work in a sweat shop, leaving her daughter with her parents in China. Beautiful and hard working, she caught the eye of the factory owner; they married and had two children before Qu was summoned to join them in America.

Qu had been told that life in America would be easy, with lots of food and toys and love. But the fatherless girl was treated like a burden, a dependent on her benevolent step-father, an outsider who had to earn her keep. The family indulged in conspicuous consumption, her mother wearing high end fashions while her step siblings were lavished with gifts, Qu did not have enough to eat, no private property, and was treated like the lowest servant.

Qu's memoir is filled with disturbing scenes. Her parents left the factory for home before Qu's shift ended. By car, they were home in thirty minutes. Later in the evening, Qu took mass transit, an hour long journey. She describes her vulnerability, how a man exposed himself to her and how she had to elude his following her. She came home to a dark house and a cold plate of food.

Qu had idealized her grandmother who had raised her in China after her mother left. Later, she tells Qu that she had been a hard mother as well, just one of generations of women who had to fight to survive. From her grandmother, Qu learns of the bitterness of women's lives, how they must be ruthless to survive, and to teach the next generation to survive.

When Qu sought help through Child Services, they gave her short term counseling but did not report that she was abused. The beatings, the neglect, the violence, the lack of love, the lack of concern, the work in the sweatshop were not enough. But her mother was told to allow Qu to keep the money she earned. Qu studied hard. Books were her passion. She got herself into college and graduate school without financial or emotional support from her mother.

Qu, like her mother, beat the odds and became successful, each in her own way. She still struggles with her past. It is certain her mother did, too. Overcoming hardship, the immigrant experience, the place of women in society and the family, what it takes to survive--it is all in this affecting and honest memoir.

I received a free egalley from the publisher through NetGalley. My review is fair and unbiased. show less

In this fascinating memoir, author Anna Qu remembers her harrowing childhood as an unwanted Chinese daughter.

As the child of her mother's first marriage, Anna represents a part of her mother's life that the hard-driven immigrant businesswoman would prefer to forget. Her mother's antipathy makes itself known in pointed cruelties, irrational punishments, and neglect. Anna is even forced to work at the family-run garment factory/sweatshop and as a maid in the home. At the age of 15, Anna breaks free of her family's confines and makes a life of her own, but at a steep cost.

Made in China is a beautifully written, compelling memoir that deserves a wide readership.

I found this a hard book to read---not because of the words, but because of the relationship of Qu and her mother. Ana was left in China when her widowed mother immigrated to the US. Doing well, Ana’s moth ended up marrying her boss in a Queens sweatshop. Ana was sent to America to live with her mother, stepfather and stepbrother and stepsister. It’s a Cinderella story without the prince. Ana was never part of the family. When people would visit, she was sent to the basement. She spent full weekends working at her family’s sweatshop making clothing. After a particularly bitter argument with her mother, she’s sent back to China to live with an old man and woman. She was too American, though, to survive Chinese life and was sent show more back to her mother in the US. Finally, finding a school counselor, she spent many hours talking about what life was like when you were considered a servant in your own family. An anonymous call to Child Protective Services led to her no longer working in the sweatshop. A case worker convinced the mother to let Ana work and keep the money she made as a dental assistant. After college and no support from her family, a truce of sorts is called, and Ana reflects how as an employee of a failing tech startup continues the female perspective of her family resulting in anger because of the sacrifice they are continually making. I am amazed at how when learning of her mother’s past in China and as a new immigrant, she can respond to the treatment her mother gave her with empathy. show less

Made in China
The author Anna Qu was left to be raised by her grandparents in Wenzhou China while her mother immigrated to New York City to find work. When Anna is five years old, her mother comes back to get her and they reunite in New York with her new husband and a step sister and brother. Her mother has achieved success by marrying the owner of a clothing factory or sweat shop. Her daughter Anna is an embarrassment and in many ways is treated like an outsider rather than a first daughter.
The story is essentially a chronology of the terrible ways her mother treats her until Anna is able to leave the family home for school. Anna is forced to work in the clothing factory while going to school, she has to do all of the household chores, show more and is left out of family vacations and other activities. Anna sees guidance counsellor at her high school who helps ease some of the mistreatment.
In some ways it’s an interesting story but I grew tired of the continuous whining about her treatment at her mother’s hand. A better explanation of her mother’s own upbringing and her marriage would have provided more insight into why Anna had to endure so much of her hatred and discontent. show less

I really enjoyed the first half of this book where the author talks about her childhood and her relationship with her mother. I think the last third that talks about her job wanders from the main emphasis of the book and I lost interest.

nonfiction/memoir - miserable psychologically abusive childhood, repairing a relationship with mother, reuniting with grandmother and learning a little about what the family went through in China before immigrating.

heartbreaking narrative, complex story