DNF

Conceited unlikeable kid is obsessed with becoming a mermaid. Teases sapphic friend with her bloody tampons. Goes her own way.
I really did not like the writing.

I saw a lot of similarly-rated reviews saying that while this book had excellent themes and messages, its delivery was a bit stunted, and after finishing I can definitely concur with these others' thoughts. The story follows Ren, a obsessively competitive swimmer who was inspired to start swimming by a childhood love for mermaid fairytales. That love and her passion for swimming start to blend in horrific ways as Ren reaches a breaking point from the combined pressures from her abusive coach, broken family, and the peers she both loves and hates.

There's a lot here about the toll that sports takes on young people, the demand to constantly be driven and to win, and doubly so for women in sports. There's also a lot of sapphic longing - that combined with the mermaid element was honestly perfect. The way Ren's story plays out is super dark. The author isn't shy with her descriptions, but after the story peaks, the conclusion fell flat for me. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be walking away with, what lesson I was supposed to be learning. And the ending was just vague enough that I both wanted more and felt frustrated that it was over so quickly. Besides not quite understanding where the story was supposed to go, I did really enjoy reading it. I started swimming myself around the same age as the main character, and all the descriptions were totally spot on. Overall I can tell Song is an excellent writer and I still think this was a strong debut; I'd definitely read whatever she comes out with next. ( )

Girlboss, gaslight, gatekeeping mermaids all to herself. She took sports anime a little too seriously. ( )

3.5. Really crisp and poetic prose. This story is full of rage and determination but also a very palpable and tragic sense of loneliness and unbelonging. I feel like parts of this were repetitive, but not totally in a way that didn't work. Ren is grappling with so many things in life (an abusive swim coach, feelings for her friend, a constant estrangement) and watching her try and get through these things is heartbreaking at times. The climactic scene was so difficult to read...don't read this book while eating lunch, y'all...
Would recommended to those looking for a book about queer girlhood with a big dose of body horror. ( )

Fiction, coming of age, swimming ( )