I Think I'm Falling Apart

What a strange book!
Benny loses the love of this life through suicide, or so it seems. He continues to go to work so as to not attract attention and unwanted questions from anybody. Yet he suffers terribly and struggles to cope with the loss & the memories. Somehow though, every now and again he finds himself – what? Time traveling? In an alternate dimension?
I cannot decide whether this is an average sci-fi/literary fiction tale or a work of genius. Some observations and quotes it gave me will certainly stick with me. I really liked the Mortician.
Sometimes tough to read, sometimes repetitive, it didn't offer anything new to the genres – yet overall it was an engaging read and unique in its own way.
I received this eARC via show more LibraryThing's Early Reviewers program - Thanks, LT and author! - in exchange for an honest review. show less

"I Think I'm Falling Apart" by Chris Dietzel is a thought-provoking and genre-bending tale that explores themes of loss, love, and the enigmatic nature of time. With a captivating blend of mystery, psychological depth, and a touch of science fiction, Dietzel delivers a compelling narrative that keeps readers guessing until the very end.

The story follows Benny, a man haunted by the tragic death of his partner, Staci. Consumed by grief and confusion, Benny finds himself trapped in a cycle of despair when Staci mysteriously reappears for fleeting moments, only to disappear once again. As Benny grapples with his own sanity, he embarks on a quest to uncover the truth behind Staci's death and the perplexing time loop that seems to be show more unraveling his reality.
Dietzel's writing style is immersive and introspective, allowing readers to delve deep into Benny's psyche and experience his emotional turmoil firsthand. The author skillfully captures the raw emotions of grief, guilt, and uncertainty, creating a palpable sense of tension and unease throughout the story. The exploration of mental health issues adds depth to the narrative, as Benny questions his own perception of reality and grapples with the impact of loss on his psyche.
The fusion of mystery, psychological drama, and elements of science fiction is seamlessly woven together in "I Think I'm Falling Apart." Dietzel masterfully keeps readers on their toes, constantly questioning the true nature of events and the reliability of the protagonist's perception. The plot twists and turns, defying expectations and challenging readers to piece together the puzzle alongside Benny.
Benny's character is intricately crafted, with his vulnerabilities and flaws laid bare. His relentless pursuit of the truth, despite the toll it takes on his mental and emotional well-being, adds depth to his journey. The supporting characters, although appearing briefly, leave a lasting impact, each contributing to the layers of mystery and intrigue.
The parallels between "Gone Girl" and "The Time Traveler's Wife" are evident in "I Think I'm Falling Apart," but Dietzel adds his unique twist to the narrative. The blend of psychological suspense and temporal anomalies creates a distinct atmosphere that keeps readers captivated. The exploration of themes such as fate, free will, and the complexity of human relationships adds a thought-provoking dimension to the story.
While the novel maintains a gripping pace and an engaging narrative, some readers may find certain aspects of the plot and the nature of time travel challenging to fully comprehend. The intricacies of the temporal paradoxes may require readers to suspend disbelief and embrace the ambiguity that permeates the story.
"I Think I'm Falling Apart" is a compelling read that will appeal to fans of psychological thrillers and unconventional love stories. Chris Dietzel's ability to blend genres and deliver a multi-layered narrative is commendable. Prepare to be immersed in a mind-bending journey that will keep you guessing until the final page.
In this captivating tale of love, loss, and the enigmatic nature of time, "I Think I'm Falling Apart" invites readers to question the boundaries of reality and the profound impact of grief on the human psyche. Chris Dietzel's unique storytelling will leave a lasting impression, urging readers to reflect on the fragile nature of existence and the resilience of the human spirit. show less

6/10
Certainly the mystery in this book is more than just “why did Staci kill herself?”. Like did she even exist outside of Benny’s mind? It’s a bit too coincidental for Benny to date Stacy, Stacee (although their one encounter was not really a date—did that even happen?), and then Staci. The man Benny confronted who supposedly was Staci’s boss genuinely didn’t seem to know who Benny was even talking about. Benny was pretty delusional about his screenplays, too, and the likelihood of them being accepted by a studio or agent or his chances of being a director/producer. Still, there were clothes in the dresser and a car in the garage, so maybe she did exist. But there was no follow-up with him after her apparent suicide. I show more liked the poem that Staci’s high school friend wrote. Did Benny have a mental illness—schizophrenia maybe? Or was it real that he was traveling in time? And yes, I think he dies by suicide in the end.

Another reader/reviewer said there were clues to what was really going on in the book titles that Benny & Staci were reading, but I didn’t go back and check that out. The book wasn’t compelling enough for me to make that effort. show less

This is a very well written novel which follows the tortuous introspective journey of the main character Benny, after he finds his girlfriend Staci dead by suicide in their bathtub. The thought processes and emotions ring true and draw the reader into the story. The story never lags with interesting twists that challenge us to wonder whether Benny is hallucinating or not.
This is not an easy story to tell in a compelling way, but the author does an outstanding job.
The only downside for me was the ending seemed rushed.
Don’t let the apparent subject put you off. I highly recommend this novel.

First. Dietzel can write well. But this dreary tale is a waste of talent. The story is sad and tragic from page one to the end. There are plot twists about one-third and two-thirds of the way through, but their potential lies dormant. I needed to turn on my disbelief suspension filter to trudge on to the end. And when I got there, I felt cheated.

My biggest complaint was that I was never sure what exactly was going on. Even at the end I wasn't sure that Staci was a real person. The fact that there was no conversation with the first responders, that her family never came to claim her stuff. The storyline points to patterns that never lead anywhere. If the goal was to create a story that captures the meaningless nature of someone's empty life, then this book succeeded.

There are a lot of really interesting ideas and beautiful scenes in this genre-bending novel. However, for a book that touts, both intrinsically and explicitly, an appreciation for unclear/undefined resolutions (the protagonist states his love for this), this book certainly tends to over-explain a lot!

I often felt like I was just reading to get to the end, versus enjoying the journey, as the narrator kept overexplaining or over-detailing. Arguably, this is because the narrator/protagonist is an overthinker and/or overly analytical, but the conveyance of this was so pedantic (e.g., and then he thought this, and then he thought this vs. giving his string of thoughts as they'd actually occur). It reminded me of bad dialogue in shows, show more where it's clear they were just trying to provide information to an audience versus having characters talk to each other like actual humans would.
Frustratingly, I do think the end is chef's kiss.
I think this book could be great, but it needs an editor. show less