The Race to Be Myself: A Memoir

Best for:
Anyone who ACTUALLY cares about women, or women in sports, or racism, or equity. Also JK Rowling should read this as maybe she’d learn a thing or two (though I’d love to keep Semenya off Rowling’s radar, since Rowling is generally horrible when it comes to women’s issues).

In a nutshell:
Olympic runner Semenya shares her story, from growing up in South Africa to becoming one of the fastest women in the world, to facing the racism and misogyny of the sporting world.

Worth quoting:
“It is hard to explain the psychological violence of having your gender identity questions or ripped away.”

Why I chose it:
I am a (very much non-elite) athlete who loves women’s sports. I’ve always thought Semenya got totally screwed over, show more and I wanted to hear her story in her own words. (Spoiler alert: she definitely got screwed over.)

Review:
Caster Semenya has been put through a lot, and after reading this book I find myself even more disgusted with the way World Athletics has treater her and other elite athletes like here.

Semenya has had a confidence her whole life. She knows who she is - she was a girl, she’s now a woman, and she’s a damn great runner. Unfortunately, as she found success at a very young age, she has been forced to face a whole lot of racism and misogyny. Because she doesn’t fit the white European standard of strength and beauty, she came under scrutiny and was forced to undergo all sorts of invasive examinations that I’d argue were sexual assault. She was also forced to essentially poison herself to change her hormone levels so she was able to compete (and even then, was still winning her races, so…).

Semenya talks about her childhood, discovering her talent for running, and her love of the sport. She also spends a lot of time talking about how supportive and loving her family has been, and about her relationship with her wife Violet. She’s a multi-faceted woman who has a strength and confidence in who she is that so many people struggle with. I find her story and her drive inspirational, and I find her ability to truly leave it all on the track impressive as hell.

Especially in light of the vile treatment of Imane Khalif, who won the gold in women’s boxing at the Paris Olympics and was subjected to weird, pathetic commentary from people like JK Rowling and Elon Musk, we need to be serious about how we treat women in sport. Specifically, how we treat brown and black women in sport. Bizarre made-up ‘studies’ used to justify wildly unethical treatment; medical records leaked to the press; whining white tears by competitors who just aren’t as good - it’s all related and it’s all disgusting.

I find that lots of people who speak up about things like ‘unfair’ advantages of biology variances in (Black and brown) women athletes have no issues with the features that make someone like (white, male) Michael Phelps able to smash swimming records. There’s an insidiousness to people who suddenly claim to care about women’s sports choosing these issues and not, say, pay equity, or equity of equipment, or proper medical studies of the impact of different activities on women’s bodies (look up the ACL issue in women’s football), or equity of media coverage. They don’t care about any of that - they only want to police femininity and ensure that only a certain type of woman athlete is able to be successful. It’s gross and I hate that people like Caster and Imane face this ignorance.

The book is broken down into four parts, and while it took me awhile to get into, I was eventually hooked and raced through it. For the most part I found it to be an excellent read; the only moment where I sort of found myself questioning things is when Semenya took a moment to talk very positively about murderer and fellow runner Oscar Pistorius. Very odd choice.

The book was released in 2022, and since then, Caster has won her latest appeal, in the European Court of Human Rights (https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2023/jul/12/caster-semenya-elated-court-ruling-human-rights-discrimination-case). I hope it’s the first of many victories, and that it leads to serious change in World Athletics.

What’s next for this book:
Recommend to others. show less

While I am happy to read Caster's story, she comes across as an entitled, spoiled brat. (She refuses to do chores as a kid because she feels too good to do anything "girly," and then never unpacks that when she's sent off to live with relatives and has to start doing chores herself. Didn't she realize that's what she essentially did to her siblings when she refused to help cook and clean at home?) I also didn't enjoy her glowing endorsement of Oscar Pistorius.

Caster's story is unfortunately still relevant today, as sadly the "science" used to prevent talented athletes from competing is still rampant. It's unfortunate that so many athlete's lives are upended from arbitrary and unresearched requirements.