Monster Blood (Goosebumps #3)

## It's a monster blood drive!

Monster Blood introduced one of Goosebumps most iconic monsters -- the Monster Blood(TM) of the title, magically capable of anything --, the longest-running, worst sub-series (spanning Monster Blood II, III, and IV), and Evan Ross: R.L. Stine's blandest hero, whose only trait is to be upset at the things happening to and around him.

[N.B. This review includes images, and was formatted for my site, dendrobibliography -- located here.]

The story opens with Evan Ross arriving at his creepy aunt Kathryn's for some much-needed vacation time. His aunt is an old, deaf witch who has spent much of her life living alone, not communicating with anyone or anything except her black cat, Sarabeth. Evan befriends a show more neighborhood girl named Andy -- who embodies everything Evan is not -- and the two kill time at a local toy shop while getting to know one another. What they find is a container of Monster Blood, a type of silly putty the storeowner has trouble parting with, fearing what may happen.

At first, the Monster Blood acts just as silly putty should: It's a goopy, thick substance the two have a ball throwing back and forth and all over Aunt Kathryn's furniture. When Evan's dog, Trigger, eats a chunk of the putty, the horror escalates as the dog starts having choking fits and grows too large for its own collar. Pretty soon the Monster Blood starts exhibiting other strange powers, including a taste for human flesh and the ability to expand far beyond its original size.

The first Monster Blood story is weird. The witch storyline is dropped in all the sequels in favor of mad scientists, which is unfortunate, as the witches are the only interesting characters here, and the Monster Blood's power ultimately being from a magic spell gives the story a very Hocus Pocus twist that makes the mysterious goop threatening rather than comedic.

Like the Night of the Living Dummy subseries, I never quite connected with this story, even as a kid. The fact that it is so iconic is bewildering under the weight of so many better stories still left out of print. The inspiration for Monster Blood is as boring as Evan Ross himself: R.L. Stine was inspired when his son Matt threw silly putty on the wall. And Goosebumps was born.

R.L. Stine's Goosebumps (1992–1997):
#2 Stay Out of the Basement | #4 Say Cheese and Die! show less

The story opens with Evan Ross arriving at his creepy aunt Kathryn's for some much-needed vacation time. His aunt is an old, deaf witch who has spent much of her life living alone, not communicating with anyone or anything except her black cat, Sarabeth. Evan befriends a neighborhood girl named Andy, who embodies everything Evan is not. The two kill time at a local toy shop while getting to know one another. What they find is a container of Monster Blood, a type of silly putty the store owner has trouble parting with, fearing what may happen. At first, the Monster Blood acts just as silly putty should: It's a goopy, thick substance the two have a ball throwing back and forth and all over Aunt Kathryn's furniture. Pretty soon the Monster show more Blood starts exhibiting other strange powers, including a taste for human flesh and the ability to expand far beyond its original size. show less

This is pretty easily the worst-written one of these so far, but when the Monster Blood starts being an actual threat it is the fucking best, so I’m still pretty inclined to give it a passing grade.

Seriously, though, Evan is just the worst protagonist, R.L. Stein outs himself as an asshole ableist, and it takes infuriatingly long for the Monster Blood to be remotely interesting. Again, like I said, once it gets there it goes hog wild and I’m super here for it, but that doesn’t entirely make up for 75% of the book being like watching, uh, monster… paint… dry?

Aside from the last few chapters, the main saving grace of this book is Andy. She should have been the protagonist! Though, it’s probably easier to make a badass hero show more character be, y’know, not the narrator, so fair enough I guess.

Oh, actually, the other saving grace is the bullies just absolutely destroying Evan. Get that little prick! show less

Goosebumps was one of my all time favourites as a kid. I scrambled to the library at every chance to get my hands on any Goosebumps novel. I didn't care if I read them over and over and knew the story by heart, I'd read them again! And then hope the library got the television show and movie versions so I could watch them.

As an adult, I've been trying to find the Goosebumps series in my home town without much luck. Then, lucky me found five at a local thrift shop and my inner child went wild.

Fortunately, these books were just as good as I remembered!

Monster Blood follows Evan and Andy at Evan's great-Aunt's house. They buy some monster blood, slime like toy and suddenly all heck breaks loose! Evan's dog grows in size, the cat is evil show more and his Great-Aunt Kathryn is seemingly weird. Is she a witch?! Is she crazy?! Either way, that monster blood is taking over the city!

This book was a hundred pages of pure fun and mild terror. As a kid these were so much scarier, but they were still just as epic! I loved the story moving quickly, being full of wild twists and turns and being a great book for both children and adults. This book also brought me back to my childhood with lots of nostalgia. Do you have any Nintendo games?!

Was there any negatives about the book? Yes. Trigger was an elderly dog who acted very young. Was it super duper scary? No. I think it might scare the middle grade readers who this book is aimed to scare, but it's not scary to adults. Either way, it was still a fun and easy read that had me chuckling along the way. I enjoy R.L. Stine's writing style. It's not meant to be taken seriously (it's not It or Carrie or any Stephen King book). This book was meant to bring the younger demographic a little horror novel and introduce them to the genre. Can every Goosebump book be an absolute winner? No.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book! It's a little spooky and is totally getting me in the mood for Halloween and October!

Four out of five stars! show less

As a child I grew up with Goosebumps. I was never obsessed enough to watch the show and collect the merchandise, but the books were a staple for me at the libraries. I was into them enough to be rather excited when the film was announced. The trailer was downright adorable, but it left me wondering - how well do the books hold up now?

If you’re someone curious about rereading these for the nostalgia factor, or a concerned parent wondering just how frightening these books may be for your child, I’ve got you covered. Book by book I’m covering the Classic Goosebumps series.

Reader Beware You’re In For A Scare

Title: Monster Blood
Tag line: It’s a monster blood drive!
First Sentence: “I don’t want to stay here. Please don’t leave show more me here.”



This book is basically about malevolent flubber.


Meet Evan Ross. He’s 12 years old, and is being left with his great-aunt Kathryn while his parents look for a house in Atlanta. Why don’t they just take Evan with them, you might wonder? Probably because he’s an utterly insufferable brat who constantly whines about everything. He’s the type of kid who, if you kindly point out his shoelaces are untied, replies that he wanted them that way. Yeah. We know the because he literally does that on the second page. Luckily he has his cocker spaniel Trigger (who’s also 12 years old) company, because it seems his aunt Kathryn is weird.

”Look at her. Deaf for twenty years, and she’s refused to learn sign language or to lip-read. How’s she going to take care of Evan?”

Presumably by teaching him some form of patience.

Kathryn is, to put it mildly, a bit strange. She’s a very tall, imposing woman, with wild black hair and pale blue eyes. Our first introduction to her involves her brandishing a bloody butcher’s knife, from slicing beef, and asking Evan if he “likes the girls” for about ten pages straight.

So, basically she either is Helena Bonham Carter or should be played by her.



“What did your father tell you about me, Evan?” She winked at Mrs. Ross. “Did he tell you I was a scary old witch?”
“No,” Evan protested, looking at his mother.
“Well, I am!” Kathryn declared, and once again burst into her deep-throated laugh.

Erm. Ok.

The next character introduction is Kathryn’s cat, Sarabeth. We meet her as she leaps out of a closet and latches onto Evan’s face. Miraculously, this doesn’t harm him.



Seeing how he picked up his cocker spaniel earlier, a breed that can weigh around 40 pounds, this detail doesn't surprise me.


"Did Sarabeth scare you?” Kathryn asked Evan, still smiling. “That cat has a strange sense of humor. She’s evil. Pure evil.” She chuckled as if she’d said something funny.
“I’m okay,” Evan said uncertainly.
“Watch out for Sarabeth. She’s evil,” Kathryn repeated, bending down and picking the cat up by the scruff of the neck, holding her up in the air in front of her. “Evil, evil, evil.”

I wonder if the cat is evil?

Trigger is relegated to living outside for Evan's stay at Kathryn's. This is a good thing, as is the lack of a Nintendo, VCR, television... etc that Evan bemoans for the bulk of the book. It means Evan gets to take Trigger for a walk - but not until he has an oatmeal raisin cookie snack.

Oatmeal raisin wasn’t his favorite.

Yeah. Kathryn's place is harsh.

On the walk he loses control of his dog since he can't do anything right and...

Evan was about to pick up the stubborn dog when he was startled by a hand grabbing his shoulder.
“Hey - who are you?” a voice demanded.
Evan spun around to find a girl standing behind him, staring at him with dark brown eyes. “Why’d you grab my shoulder like that?” he asked, his heart still pounding.
“To scare you,” she said simply.

Finally. A worthwhile character in this book.

”So who are you?” she demanded again.
She wasn’t the shy type, he decided. “I’m me,” he said, letting Trigger lead him around the tree.



This is Evan's idea of being cool.

Somehow, it doesn't ruin the entire encounter.

”I like your dog,” she said, eyeing Trigger. “He looks real stupid. I like stupid dogs.”
“Me, too. I guess.” Evan laughed.
“What’s his name? Does he have a stupid name?” She bent down and tried to pet Trigger’s back, but he moved away.
“His name’s Trigger,” Evan said, and waited for her reaction.
“Yeah. That’s pretty stupid,” she said thoughtfully.

Her name is Andrea, which she deems stupid, so call her Andy. She's the only character in this book I can relate to. It's like R.L. Stine added her for the sole purpose of pointing out the absurdity of this entire book and how maddening certain characters Evan can be.

Oh, and if you're wondering - she's also 12.

She gets Evan to join her on a trip to town to the old toy store, the oddly named Wagner's Novelties and Sundries. He's initially enthusiastic, but when he actually enters and sees that they don't carry Nintendo or anything like it, his enthusiasm is lost.

Andy remains interested. He proceeds to complain in earnest.




He was about to leave when something caught his eye. It was a blue can, about the size of a can of soup. He picked it up, surprised by how heavy it was.
Bringing it close to his face to examine it in the dim light, he read the faded label: Monster Blood. Below that, in smaller type, it read: Surprising Miracle Substance.
Hey, this looks cool, he thought, turning the can around in his hand.

He has to haggle with the store owner, who says that it's old and probably won't work. He manages to get it, and Andy tries to buy it from him. This leads to this memorable exchange:

"You really like to get your way, don’t you!”
“I’m an only child,” she said. “What can I tell you? I’m spoiled.”

Andy has to be the most self-aware character in the Goosebumps universe.

When they get back to Evans's place they interrupt Kathryn's heated argument with the cat. She takes a brief, pointed interest in the monster blood, but soon shrugs it off with a small warning to be careful and they arrive in Evan's boring room. Andy, being self-aware, recognizes that the dusty old books on the shelves are, you know, books. Books you can read.

”I thought you said there was nothing to do here,” she told Evan. “You could read all these cool books.”


THANK YOU. Not only are they books, but they're books about magic. Spell books. Evan ignores this and moves the plot along by getting the jar of monster blood to open.

Monster blood is essentially gak.



The substance inside the can was bright green. It shimmered like Jell-O in the light from the ceiling fixture…
Evan poked it with his finger. It was cold, thicker than Jell-O, heavier.
He pushed his finger beneath the surface. When he pulled his finger out, it made a loud sucking noise.

It glows in the dark.

“I’ve had other stuff that did this,” Evan said, more than a little disappointed. “It was called Alien Stuff or Yucky Glop, something like that.”
“Well, if you don’t want it, I’ll take it,” Andy replied.
“I didn’t say I didn’t want it,” Evan said quickly.

He has no sense of wonder. Gak was awesome when I was a kid.

It bounces. It stretches. It always returns to its original shape. Evan is really unimpressed. But then they notice that the Monster Blood stains, so they take it outside to play with it. Predictably, the dog eats some of it.

Not so predictably, nobody cares about whether or not this will kill the dog after a single sentence.

Apparently some time passes, as at the beginning of the next chapter he's whining about how mean Kathryn is to him in spite of all his attempts to be nice. All the cookies she has are oatmeal and raisin and the only cereal she offers is shredded wheat without sugar. It's pretty much child cruelty.

Deciding he can’t stay where in there with Kathryn, he leaves. Trigger is lethargic, and pretty much unresponsive. He doesn't remember that his dog has been poisoned and is likely dying, and leaves him there to go explore. Karma comes into play and two teenaged twins wearing dark T-shirts with the names of heavy-metal bands on the front appear to harass him because he's a jerk.

“You can’t walk on this block,” one of them said, hovering over Evan.
“Yeah. You’re not a resident,” the other added.

The name of their gang? The Home Owner’s Association.

Andy saves the day after a few more paragraphs during which Evan is referred to as a "non-resident" who has to pay the "non-resident toll." Her bike is stolen for her trouble, and she is given a possible concussion. This brief period ends as she leaves for piano lessons and Evan remembers that Trigger has been poisoned.

He finds Trigger choking to death.



Why was the leather collar suddenly so tight? Trigger is growing. This becomes a theme.

The next day Andy is saving a cat that the aforementioned teenage twins (the Beymer twins) tied to a tree. Somehow. They decide to hang out and play with the monster blood after the cat is freed and discover it's now warm and sticky. They don't seem to think this is terribly unnerving, nor are they all that disturbed by the fact it's now overflowing its container. The cat takes a brief interest in the proceedings... and Trigger has now doubled in size.

Evan has some nightmares. In the first one Trigger is a monster chasing the Beymer twins, who everyone has decided is responsible for all of their problems. The following dream sees him turning into a giant, a la Trigger. He wakes up. It's pretty awful as far as plot twists go.

He does what he should have done before and takes Trigger to the vet, who says he's fine - just big for a cocker spaniel. He takes hormone, blood, and glandular samples for testing... which is never gone back to. Must be some confused lab techs.

The monster blood has overflowed its coffee can, so he takes it to Andy in a 'big bucket.' She's sufficiently creeped out by it, now that it, much like this book, has taken on sucking properties. She's convinced reluctantly to put some in a coffee can to lighten Evan's load. He leaves, and is finally beaten up by the Baymer twins. They run away after.

That night he moves the blood to a bathtub that happens to be in the basement. Sarabeth, the cat, jumps on his back and knocks him into it where he's nearly killed. Unfortunately, he manages to free himself.

He has to get rid of the monster blood. It's dangerous, and it's growing.

The next day he and Andy lug the monster blood back to the toy store in large trash bags. The owner, however, who takes his no return policy to an absurd extreme has closed down the shop shorty after the monster blood was sold.

They go home and load the monster blood into a trash can, and learn that Evan’s mom is returning that afternoon. Although Andy points out that they need to do SOMETHING about the Monster Blood before he goes home, Evan doesn’t think it’s important.

Instant karma strikes again.



He’s bowled over by Trigger, now double the size of a pony or something, and the trash can explodes when he hits it. Rather than monster blood splattering everywhere it arcs towards him like a sentient being bent on his destruction. He rolls way.

The monster blood now begins its killing spree. It eats the trash can, a bird, and the Beymer twins. Now it turns on Kathryn's house and dives through the door.

“Get out!” Kahthryn repeated shrilly. “Save your lives! I made this thing! Now I must die for it!”

Surprise, surprise.

Sarabeth, the cat, is actually a witch who has been keeping Kathryn prisoner for 20 some years.



Kathryn thinks by sacrificing herself to the monster blood she’ll free herself of the spell the cat cast on her.

”I’m so sorry, Evan. I had no choice, no will of my own.” She turned her eyes to Sarabeth. “But no more. No more. No more. As I plunge myself into this ghastly creation, Sarabeth, I will end your spell. I will end your hold over me.”
“The children will still die,” Sarabeth said coldly.

They know too much, after all.

Seems reasonable.

But, of course...



Trigger comes bounding to the rescue and shoves Sarabeth the cat-woman-witch into the monster blood. This breaks the spell, and presumably kills Sarabeth. The monster blood shrinks, as does Trigger, and everything that it ate is now released and living.



Evan's mom returns and is given an explanation we're not privy to of just what happened. Evan promises to write Andy. Andy informs him that her dad has a "phone credit card" so she can call him if she figures out the number. Just one thing... she wants the remaining monster blood.

But it's gone!

Seriously. That's the ending.



So, how does this book rate?

Well, as a kid I remember loving it. I was utterly riveted and actually surprised by one of the twists. As an adult? It's boring and predictable and I can't stand Evan. Andy is awesome, but no worth slogging through this mess for. It wasn't as evocative as [b: Welcome to Dead House|125553|Welcome to Dead House (Goosebumps, #1)|R.L. Stine|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1328867798s/125553.jpg|448935] was about how awful it is to move away from home when you're young, nor as fast-paced as [b: Stay Out of the Basement|125542|Stay Out of the Basement (Goosebumps, #2)|R.L. Stine|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1328867797s/125542.jpg|120907].

Somehow, though, this book spawned three sequels.

Crap. show less

Evan Ross can’t resist bringing home a mysterious jar of green slime—“Monster Blood”—from a weird toy store. What starts out as playful goo quickly turns into a growing nightmare: the slime grows, and grows, and—soon—it’s breaking out of control. With vivid descriptions and a gripping premise, Monster Blood embodies classic Goosebumps chills, blending supernatural horror, relentless suspense, and that trademark twist ending.

The third in the Goosebumps series, Monster Blood is a riot of creepiness and is sure not to disappoint! I think I see a pattern developing (though I suppose three books in is a bit too soon to make any final judgments)...this series seems to be more about a campy and creepy type of vibe than a truly horrific/scary one (though the first one, I felt was genuinely scary in places), I'm getting a bit of Tales from the Crypt Jr. feel as I am going through the series and I rather like that.

In this volume, we meet Evan (and his new friend Andy). Evan has come for a few weeks to say with his Great-Aunt while his parents are looking for a new home for them to buy...the main problem with this being that his Great Aunt is deaf, stubborn and a show more bit creepy. After being dropped off, Evan is sure he's going to be miserable for the whole time he's there and this is largely confirmed when he is immediately set upon by the local bullies (twins). He is temporarily saved by Andy who quickly becomes his friend and they set off together to browse the old toy store that is going out of business. As Andy looks for a present for her cousin and comes up empty handed, Evan discovers a can of "monster blood" and simply must have it. The owner sells it reluctantly and Evan and Andy scurry out of the shop with their new prize. After getting it home, they play with it for a while and as with all Goosebumps books...it's all down hill from there. Something strange is happening with the monster blood...it's growing, expanding and starting to take on a life of it's own! What will Evan do...how did this happen, read and find out...you won't be disappointed! show less