Sandwich

SANDWICH is a poignant story that resonated with me, as I'm in the same boat as the main character Rocky, sandwiched between aging parents and new adult children. Not everything she went through was relatable to me, but I found myself nodding my head in agreement or in empathy for most of the book, as she navigated this moment of middle-age. I could definitely understand her nostalgia for the past. This is a wonderful character-driven story with many humorous passages balanced with ones that made me teary-eyed. Perhaps it's because I'm reading this at just the right time in my life, but I adored this book.

I laughed so hard reading this. Highly recommend for anyone going through or who has gone through menopause and who has grown children.
I loved so many lines in this book. Some made me laugh. Some I nodded in agreement and some hit close to home. I wrote down “ it’s just your heart losing its mind”.
Newman writes like she is talking to you through her protagonist Rachel. I love Rachel ( Rocky) and her sweet husband Nick and her very real children Jamie and Willa.

Savage, laugh-till-you-cry humor about family vacations, menopause, and secrets, SANDWICH takes place over the course of a week on Cape Cod: parents Rachel (Rocky, the narrator) and Nick, adult children Jamie and Willa, Jamie's longtime girlfriend Maya, and, for two days of the week, Rocky's parents all together in the same small house they've been coming to for twenty years.

CW: miscarriage, abortion

Quotes

We both have plantar fasciitis, a punishment for years of mocking all the special foot remedies in the Hammacher Schlemmer catalogue. (55)

We call this style of childhood nostalgia the catalogue of grievances. (62)

Despair laced through with so much incredible beauty. We just keep showing up for each other. Even through the mystery of show more other people's grief. What else is there? (107)

I cry a little then, because of the conversation and the wine and this absolute devastation and blessedness, rolled up into a lump in my own throat that I have been trying to swallow for my whole life. (121)

The children's features shattered me a little bit - as if someone had siphoned love out of me and tattooed it onto someone else's face. (144)

...her genetic inheritance includes scolding the people you're worried about. (149)

Or it's just your heart losing its mind. (209)

You're supposed to retrace your steps when you lose something, but none of my losses are like that. Where would I look for them? And what would I do if I found them? (214)

I've heard grief described as love with nowhere to go. To be honest, though, I sometimes feel like love is that already. (218)

There are so many ways to lose our children, and I have imagined most of them - imagined the near ecstasy of it, the violins sawing out grief's unfathomable song. (220; reminds me of Maggie Smith)

Maybe grief is love imploding. Or maybe it's love expanding. I don't know. I just know you can't create loss to preempt loss because it doesn't work that way. So you might as well love as much as you can. (221) show less

I loved this book so much. I read it mostly on a series of long plane rides. I turn 53 next week and alternated between wanting to sob and celebrate. So many feelings. I read a library copy on my iPad and highlighted 75% of it because it resonated so much with me. I now need to buy my own copy so I can revisit how she found the perfect combination of words to say the things I couldn’t figure out how to verbalize.

I love what Catherine Newman did in We All Want Impossible Things — somehow making a book about dying excruciatingly funny — in Sandwich, she turns her impossibly hilarious prose towards marriage, motherhood, menopause, grown children, and beach houses, among other things. Rocky and her family return to the same rental in Sandwich, MA that they have vacationed in for more than 20 years and the week brings back memories both good and bad. If you need plot in your novels then Sandwich may not be for you, but if you want painfully funny commentary —and sometimes just the pain — of middle age, beach rentals, and parenting then grab a copy of Sandwich.

Every year 54 year-old Rachel ‘Rocky’ and her family spend a week of the Summer in a rented cottage at Cape Cod. This year that includes her husband Nick, her adult children – daughter Willa, son Jamie and his girlfriend Maya, and her elderly parents.

““It’s so crushingly beautiful, being human,” the mother sighs, and the daughter rolls her eyes and says, “But also so terrible and ridiculous.” And maybe it’s all three. This one week.”

Sandwich is a realistic portrayal of a woman facing the challenges of midlife- menopause, empty nest syndrome, and unwell ageing parents. While Rocky savours the time she is spending with her family in the present, fuelled by the vagaries of fluctuating hormones she wistfully recalls show more the past and worries about the future.

Given I share in Rocky’s stage of life I found her easy to relate to. She’s angrier than me, but I’m familiar with many of her thoughts and emotions (and menopause symptoms). I enjoyed the candid nature of the narrative, Rocky is brash but also vulnerable, she made me laugh, and nearly weep.

Newman addresses several issues in Sandwich including parenthood, marriage, health, ageing, grief, and regret. And as the family laugh, bicker, reminisce, make confessions, while gorging on saltwater taffy, seafood and sandwiches, Newman highlights the powerful and enduring nature of love.

I devoured Sandwich. Insightful, witty and poignant, this is an excellent read that I recommend to other women of a certain (r)age. show less

Sandwich is a fun novel with a lot of heart, in addition to some sadness beyond the smiles. It’s messy, funny and loving, asking some big questions.

The story is about Rocky and her family who always rent a small cottage on Cape Rod in the summer. Their children are now grown up, and her parents are elderly. Things are changing everywhere – in Rocky’s body as she negotiates menopause, as her children build their own lives and her parents get a little more frail. Despite longing for her tiny children, Rocky is just as enamoured with adult Jamie and Willa as time slowly goes by. The week of their vacation is divided into days, and although there is regularity in the traditional parts of their holiday (the very expensive clam show more ‘shack’, the holiday-only pasta) some secrets begin to unfold. Some are new, some are old. Rocky’s own secret is peeled open slowly like an onion to the reader, culminating in a Rocky-like clumsy spill.

I really enjoyed this book. It was quirky, although Rocky’s no-holds-barred (except one) manner did take a little adjusting to. Some may find her annoying (the other characters do at times) but I didn’t, maybe because I was reading ~40 pages/day. It’s about everything from grief to fear to hope and back again, wrapped up in discussions of food and love. But it’s surprisingly deep, with discussions about reproductive rights, the Holocaust and sexuality. Nothing is resolved but it is discussed openly between people who clearly love each other a lot. (I did not like the part where one person talks about someone from russia, then clarifies Ukraine – no Ukrainian would refer to themselves as russian no matter their age or era). The story is a slice of life for that week in the cottage, but there is an epilogue which wraps up most things. Did it need to? Not in my opinion but I suppose closure was a nice finish and a balance to the snarky parts (which I thought were really fun)!

It’s an easy read, told in short-ish chapters going back and forth between Rocky and her family’s past to the present day. I wish I had their budget for food (so much seafood!), but I guess it is a holiday and a celebration of sorts. The nostalgia is strong, even if you’re experienced few or no events that Rocky and her family have. A fun one for the holidays.

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